


Make me whole

by Kazan



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: An excuse for freaky sex, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Depression, Fluff, If you're squeemish about surgery then I'm sorry, M/M, Minor Koujaku/Aoba in later chapters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post amputation, The usual banter, fix-it AU, just kidding, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:34:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2135535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazan/pseuds/Kazan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story set after Clear's bad end, It has been a year since Aoba was set on the road to recovery, having endured the horrors of Platinum Jail first hand. His friends are never far away these days, yet the reality of what may well be the rest of Aoba's life has finally sunk in.<br/>They have all come so far together since Aoba emerged from the mute shell he once was, yet a life helpless and utterly dependant upon those around you is almost no life at all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quiet beginnings

Tae walked into the living room with a small tray of tea, placing it gently onto the coffee table in front of the fold out sofa.

“Here you go, Aoba. Just take it slow, I don't want you spilling it on yourself again.”  
“Yeah Grandma I know...”  
“That's what you said the last time.”  
“Give me a break.” He sighed, smiling.

The blue haired male turned his head in the direction of Tae's voice, waiting with his hands outstretched till he felt the hot mug touch his fingers. Tae waited until she was sure Aoba had a hold of it, before sitting down on the sofa and taking up her own mug.  
They sat together in their comfortable quiet for a few minutes, listening to the soft music Aoba had been playing from his coil. Ren was curled up in his lap, softly wagging his puffy tail as Aoba moved a hand to run through his thick fur.

“How is the pain today?” Tae asked gently, almost hesitantly. Aoba took a small sip before shrugging.  
“Same as usual.”  
“It... Isn't uncommon for pain for remain, even when there is no reason for it to still hurt.”  
“...”  
“I'm sure it will pass.”

“...It feels like they're still there.”

Tae looked over at Aoba, her eyes growing sad as she studied him, sitting in his wheelchair with a blanket covering his legs. Or what was left of them.

He had turned his head away now, a black blindfold covering where his eyes should have been. Tae had tried on many occasions to throw that item away, to get him something else to cover his eyes. But each and every time he had broken down, demanding it back, growing inconsolable until it was returned. She had no idea what kind of attachment the man could have had to the piece of fabric. Perhaps it was the familiarity, the connection to who he had once been, in and odd and vague way. 

Or he was so far gone into his own mind that he felt he needed it. He wasn't well... In mind or body.

Some days were better than others, like today. Aoba was calm, happy as he could be, and talkative.  
On others...it was best to leave him alone with his thoughts until he emerged again as if nothing had happened.  
Tae continued to watch him, unsure what to say to him.

“This isn't all there will ever be, Aoba... The technology is out there to heal people, give them back what they've lost, you know this.”

Aoba's lips pulled down and he huffed bitterly, “Not for people like us.”  
“It's not out of our reach...”  
“Yes it is. How could we ever afford to buy synthetics for me? We can't afford the one, let alone a pair or even some eyes...”

“It's okay to hope, Aoba...”  
“No it's not.”

Tae's lips pressed together as she decided to drop the subject entirely. It wouldn't do any good to push Aoba and make him recede into himself. It was much better now, a year on from when the others had found him.. but every now and again all it took was a thoughtless sentence and Aoba would recoil, even lash out before disappearing for hours.

“When were the others getting here?” Tae asked instead, drinking her tea slowly.

Aoba was quiet for a long moment before stiffly answering, “Soon. Ren, what time is it?”  
The dark blue pom raised his head and spoke in his strangely deep voice, “It is currently 1:41pm.”  
“Yeah,” Aoba nodded, “They said 1:45 when they left yesterday.”  
“Alright. I suppose I should go make them a snack shouldn't I?”  
“You don't have to Grandma...” Aoba replied, smiling a little. Tae sounded so reluctant when she spoke, but Aoba knew that Tae was grateful to the boys for all that they had done for him.  
“It would be rude not to.” She replied as she moved off into the kitchen.

Koujaku and Noiz were the reason Aoba was with them today, and not in any worse state than how they found him in back in Oval Tower. 

After learning that he had never returned from Platinum Jail, Koujaku had reacted quickly. Completely beside himself, he asked anyone he could think of to help try and save his childhood friend. Noiz hadn't exactly been hard to convince, though Mink had seemed reluctant to deviate from whatever massive plan he'd had regarding Toue. 

In the end however, with Noiz's guidance, Beni Shiguri, Ruff Rabbit and Scratch managed to infiltrate Platinum Jail and fight their way to Oval Tower.  
It had been a messy and strenuous rescue attempt, with Mink disappearing halfway through. 

Noiz and Koujaku had found their way into the research area of Oval Tower, and finally... To Aoba.

Though he hadn't been alone.

They had not expected to find Clear there, his mask absent and his compassion completely erased. He had been marking out lines on Aoba's upper arms when they had found him. 

Mutilated.

Killing Clear was difficult. They'd never dreamed that he could have been a robot all this time. But they managed it, gathering deep cuts and bruises in the process whilst their gangs continued to fight and lend a distraction many floors below. They took Aoba and ran, barely escaping with their lives on the way out of platinum jail as the police charged after them.

It was about halfway back to the Old District when Oval Tower collapsed. Their people were clear of the devastation...but Mink was nowhere to be found.

It had to have been Scratch's doing. Either way, Toue was done for. And they finally had Aoba... Terrified... Silent, shaking Aoba, clinging to Koujaku's shoulders and wrapped in the older man's Yukata.  
They couldn't get through to him. Couldn't touch his face to see what Clear had done. 

Whilst Koujaku had held Aoba, sobbing into his bony shoulder, Noiz had been standing away from them. Pale faced, repulsed, angry. Why had Clear done this? How could he?

Aoba was a shell and they didn't know what to do with him.

Returning him to Tae had been an ordeal all of it's own. They'd had no words to tell her as they'd stood on her doorstep, half of Aoba in Koujaku's arms and hopeless faces.  
Tae had cried out to her grandson, first in relief, then in horror.

She managed to hide her emotions far better than the other two had at least.  
That day...

Koujaku felt it was a grand contender to the worst day of his life. Was it better to be dead and at peace, or alive and tortured?

Death probably would have been kinder back then. 

But Tae worked tirelessly with her grandson, and Koujaku with her, speaking to him, clothing him, looking after him without rest. Noiz were never far away, and once Mizuki had finally recovered from his coma and left hospital, neither was he.

Aoba eventually came out of his shell, speaking softly, timidly, but with his old humour and life. That had been about six months ago when he had finally begun to return to them, with the odd setback and episode making the road a bumpy one. But they were here now, and Aoba was almost his old self. Perhaps bitter and cold sometimes, and often angry that he couldn't even look after himself. A 24 year old, so terrible dependant on his grandmother when he should have been looking after her. Aoba couldn't stand it.

But that wasn't even the half of it.

Sometimes they knew a day would be a bad one when Aoba woke from a terrible nightmare and couldn't find a light to calm him. He was so scared of the darkness he could never escape. Tae could always see him teetering on the edge of insanity because of his blindness. As if he were buried alive in a dark coffin, barely restraining himself from lashing out in a panic and suffocating.

And... Aoba was right, in all honesty. Perhaps one day they would be able to save enough and give him his legs back. Prosphetic legs were old technology, but perhaps they could get him ones that felt and looked real, that didn't need to be pulled off when he wanted to sleep or shower, that were actually connected to his nerves and muscles.

Eyes on the other hand... They had only recently been perfected, and Toue had been the very one to perfect that technology and the technique of implanting them for his own disgusting means. His scientists, the ones who had survived the collapse of Oval Tower, had given themselves to medicine in an attempt to right some of the wrongs they had done to this island.

Eyes weren't high in demand, and combined with being so new, eyes were also terribly expensive. Just a single implant could be as much as a thirty thousand, in dollars. But they were available.

 

Aoba would likely never see again.

But if he could walk, he could at least live some semblance of a life again. He was sick of his wheelchair, sick of being so dependant on everyone.

It was all they could hope for. It was the very least that Tae, that all of them could do for Aoba.

Perhaps if they succeeded, their Aoba would not be quite so depressed and isolated.

Tae missed her grandson terribly, the boy who had always been so stubborn and bold and warm. He was still there, somewhere, all they needed to do was give him a reason to return.

 

There was a firm knock on the door, and Aoba looked toward the sound with a jolt.  
“It's open!” Tae called as she took some items down from the cupboards.

The front door slid open, and multiple footsteps came in. There was a pause as shoes were removed and the rustle of bags before socked feet came into the room.

“Afternoon, Aoba!” Koujaku said cheerfully, coming round to the boy as he dropped some bags onto the sofa bed. The boys often brought food with them so that Tae wasn't constantly feeding them all out of her own pocket, considering the three were there so often.  
“Koujaku,” Aoba replied with a smile, feeling the older man place a hand on his shoulder.  
“How are we doing today?” Mizuki asked warmly, taking a seat as Noiz went to Aoba next.

“Alright... Grandma is making everyone snacks if you want some later.” Aoba reached out to place his mug down where he remembered the table to be.

The trio knew better than to intervene with such a simple task, watching carefully as the boy managed to find it a good spot on the wood.  
“Yo.”  
“Hey Noiz... Is that... Pizza?” Aoba laughed as he sat straight, raising an eyebrow at the smell.  
“Yeah. You like pepperoni right?”  
“Sure, I guess.”

“I told you it was a dumb thing to bring him. Aoba eats proper food you know.” Koujaku said as he went to sit closest to the blue haired boy, earning a look from Noiz.  
“Pizza is real food.” He defended irritably as he pushed the pizza box into Aoba's fingers.  
“Jeez, you guys are so petty. I'll take it either way I don't care.” Aoba said with a smile, feeling the warm through the cardboard. 

“Aoba is too graceous for you pair.” Mizuki laughed, leaning back in his seat with his hands behind his head.  
“Whatever.” Noiz muttered, looked off somewhere, “Did you want me to look at Ren while I'm here?”  
“Huh?” Aoba raised his head to him, considering, “I... Yeah I guess. It's been a while, can't really do much with him like this.” He tried to keep his voice light, but everyone heard that bitterness well up in the tone, and the atmosphere suffered for it.

“Well...your programming skills were shocking anyway.” Noiz replied dismissively as he bent and picked up Ren from Aoba's lap.  
“What!?” Aoba cried, “My programming is totally fine. It still works doesn't it?”  
“I guess. An old Allmate like Ren probably couldn't handle anything more complex.”  
“Oi you little brat.” Koujaku cut in, glaring as the blonde sat crossed legged on the floor.  
“Damn it Noiz you're just trying to wind me up.” Aoba muttered irritably. Noiz smirked and looked up at him.  
“Is it working?”  
“Don't make me set Koujaku on you.”  
“Is that meant to be a threat?”  
“Bastard...”  
“Oi oi, I can see a fight on the horizon and now is not the time.” Mizuki insisted, barely able to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Aoba was laughing softly as he took a slice from his pizza and began to nibble on it, not entirely hungry enough to eat it, but it smelt too good to leave.

The afternoon went relatively quickly with the other three there to keep him company and to help him get around the house. Today was a good day, and it rubbed off on all of them.  
Tae made snacks, and then eventually a big dinner as evening encroached. Mizuki couldn't stay, needing to get back to run his bar but he helped to set the table before he did so.

And whereas once Aoba would have helped with the preparations, Koujaku was happy to take his place and everything went off without a hitch.

 

“Aoba, did you want more noodles?” Tae asked as she and the others finally sat down, Koujaku on Aoba's left and Noiz on his right with Tae on the opposite side.

Everyone looked a bit too large for the table, considering that the old one was gone, replaced with a lower one to accommodate Aoba in his wheelchair. It had taken one depressive comment about feeling like a child again for Tae to send the other boys out to find her more furniture. Aoba hadn't been too pleased at the wasted money once he'd found out, but it was obvious he was happier about it.

Aoba felt what little noodles he had left with his chop sticks, shaking his head, “No thanks, Grandma, I think I'm full.”

Tae frowned softly at him, “You've barely eaten anything tonight.”  
“I know. I'm just not hungry, I'm sorry.”  
“Aoba,” Koujaku looked at him, “You have such a small stomach these days yet you insist on filling it up with donuts.”  
Aoba smiled sheepishly, “I can't help it, they're really good.”  
“Good or not they aren't going to keep you running. Finish what you have at least.” Tae insisted.

Aoba bowed his head a little and eventually accepted Koujakus help when he couldn't find what he was supposed to be eating. 

He knew he was too thin. The others tried so hard to keep him eating well and to not make too much of a deal about it when it was in fact a big deal, because they knew Aoba was self concious of it. He couldn't see himself, but it was obviously noticeable enough when everyone was saying the same thing and it was a sure way to put Aoba in a lesser mood. But they couldn't simply ignore it because of his feelings.

At the end of the day he was hardly doing enough to warrant a big meal, and his pain medication didn't exactly help his appetite either so he was getting very little. He'd done his best and he wasn't going to be pestered like a child to eat more.

The rest of the meal was quiet as the others finished off, and Tae decided to make them all some tea before everyone had to leave.  
It was the same old routine, and Aoba couldn't help but fidget knowing that he would be left alone again. Till tomorrow at least. But it was still too long.

“Aoba.”

He stopped and inclined his head toward Noiz's voice, “Yeah?”

“Was just wondering if you wanted to come round mine for the night. I have some music I could give you as well if you wanted, you're probably sick to death of that stuff you always listen to.”

Aoba perked up a little at the offer.

“Why would Aoba want to end up in that mess you call an apartment.” Koujaku asked as he held Tae clean and dry the plates.

Noiz glared irritably at him, “Maybe he wouldn't mind leaving this house for a night and doing something different. Besides. I've cleaned my apartment..”

Tae looked round at the pair still sitting at the table, seeming unsure.

Aoba sighed a little, feeling the amount of attention on him, “I wouldn't mind. When was the last time I left the house for more than a trip to the shop?”

“...Well I won't stop you. Noiz had better just be careful with you.” Tae spoke pointedly and Noiz gave a nod.

“I'll be careful.”

“I'm not made of china you know.” Aoba said irritably.

“Not at all, we just care about you, Aoba.” Koujaku insisted, giving Noiz another look that had the blonde narrowing his eyes.

“Either way, it is getting late. All of you had better find your ways home.” Tae said with a clap of her hands. It was dismissive and demanded no arguments. Koujaku seemed reluctant to leave before Noiz and Aoba did. He had to in the end, realising he couldn't reasonably stall whilst Tae and Noiz were busy gathering a bag of things for Aoba. Noiz couldn't help feeling a little smug. Any victory against Koujaku was a good victory, and those were easy to achieve when Aoba was involved.

Pettiness aside, he honestly wanted to get Aoba out of the house, and away from this depressive atmosphere he was constantly bathed in. Tae tried her very best, and Noiz doubted Aoba would be half as well as he was without the old woman's help. But Noiz had seen Aoba withdrawing at the end of the meal. He couldn't stand when everyone had to leave, and sometimes it just wasn't enough to have Tae san there alone.

Once upon a time, Noiz wouldn't have cared about Aoba's well being much beyond being able to participate in Rhyme. He had his own problems and agendas, and his want to save Aoba hadn't extended much past his own needs.

But seeing him that night... Noiz couldn't get the image out of his head. It had cut him to his core, dragged out emotions he could scarcely remember. Brought him nightmares, brought him to tears.

There was little in the world that could make him feel anything at all. A butchered and tortured Aoba happened to be just one of those things.

From the time Aoba had spent in the hospital, to the days spent laying mutely on Tae's sofa no matter how much they tried to get through to him, Noiz had constantly felt himself drawn to the boy. 

To see how he was doing, to see if he had changed at all from the empty thing he had been turned into. He began bringing Aoba gifts, and food, and music. Koujaku had realised how oddly Noiz had started behaving, he could tell from the offhand looks he always received when they were all together. The man never said a word about it however, probably because once Aoba had begun to emerge because of all their hard work and patience, Koujaku could clearly see that Noiz's presence was appreciated.

Noiz wanted Aoba to keep improving, he wanted him to get better and be happy. They had hit a wall now, now that Aoba had understood just how helpless he was. Back when he was mute, he was basically catatonic. Not being able to walk to the bathroom had been the least of his worries.

Now that he was fully emerged and ready to be a human again, to simply be himself, he had finally realised that he couldn't be.

Aoba needed to get away from this constant reality that was his life. The fact that his helplessness was constantly in focus. He needed time to just forget, and to get out of that damned wheelchair for a few hours.

He'd do whatever he had to to help Aoba.

 

“Noiz, may I borrow you for a minute?” Tae called from the kitchen.  
He looked briefly back to Aoba, who had raised his head at Tae's voice, and saw Ren helpfully pulling items over to place in Aoba's bag. A tshirt, his toiletry bag, medicine. He would be fine for the minute without him.

“Yeah sure...”

He wondered over, and Tae took him over to one side of the kitchen, an odd light to her eyes.

“I was hoping you would do me a favour, Noiz.”  
“A favour?”  
“It's for Aoba...” She took out a small card and handed it to Noiz, “I was hoping you might spread the word...I want to get Aoba walking again.  
We can't do this alone however, just me and him. Perhaps you could talk to your members and whoever else to collect some funds. Whatever people are willing to give. We can't possible afford new eyes for him, but we can buy him some new legs at the very least. I have already found a surgeon willing to do the operation and I have an exact amount that we need. I'm not settling for second best with Aoba. I've made a promise to myself that this is the very least of what I will accomplish before I'm gone.”

Noiz pressed his lips together as he looked at Tae, “It's no small amount is it?”

Tae's eyes grew sad, “It isn't in the slightest. I see it taking a couple of years to raise the funds, but we might as well try. Aoba is wasting away in that chair. He needs to be able to move around like a person should be able to. If he could see it would be fine, but he can't, he's helpless as he is and I can't stand seeing him like this day after day.”

“You're not alone in that...” Noiz sighed, placing the card in his pocket, “Does Koujaku know about this?”

“I didn't want to make a point of taking you both away from Aoba at the same time, it would only make him paranoid. I'll simply tell Koujaku next time I see him.”

“Alright...I'll tell everyone I know.”

“I would greatly appreciate it, Noiz. Take care of Aoba.”

“I will.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening of fun times and badly phrased words of reassurance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait, but hopefully you'll enjoy this part as much as I enjoyed writing it~  
> (I also have a beta this time hooray!)

The air outside was pretty cold for this time of year, and each breath of wind that passed them by seemed to rake at their fingers and faces. Noiz could see Aoba shivering as he held his jacket closer, his short exhales floating upwards in delicate white plumes.

“Are you okay?” Noiz asked as he pushed Aoba down the dark street.  
“It's cold tonight.” Aoba replied in a small voice.

Was it?

Noiz looked around himself, seeing the faintest hint of frost on the weeds that lined cracks in the pavement and road, and upon the windows of the houses.

“I should have brought my coat...” He muttered, noticing the slight stiffness in his fingers, “I hate the cold.”

“It's not so bad... it's just this blanket...”

Aoba shifted a little, readjusting the blanket around his waist while being careful not to jostle Ren. Once sorted, the wind didn't seem to bother him so much and Noiz slowed just a little. As bitter as it was, Aoba didn't get to spend much time outside. Even weather like this was a welcome change of environment. As long as they made it back before Noiz froze to death, they'd be fine.

They'd fallen into quiet, though Noiz could see the tenseness in Aoba's body, the alert way he held his head. He began to wonder if the man was thinking of something in particular, when Aoba suddenly began to speak. He was trying to be casual, clearly so, when he asked; “What were you and grandma talking about?”

Noiz gave him a wary look. 

Ah.

“Nothing important.”  
“Don't lie.”  
“How do you know I'm lying?”  
“I can hear it in your voice.”

Noiz huffed in amusement, “And I suppose your hearing is pretty great now isn't it?”  
“... What do you mean?”  
“Well… when you lose a sense, all your other ones compensate don't they? So... you have like super hearing or something...”  
“Huh. Well then my super hearing tells me you're lying. You were talking about me.”

“Whatever... We were. But it was nothing for you to be freaking out over now.”  
Aoba crossed his arms over his chest, irritated, “I'm not freaking out. It just bugs me.”

“Well, it's a bit rude to talk about someone when they are in the room.”  
“Then don't do it at all.”  
“Aoba... We are gonna talk about you a lot. We're looking out for you.”

“Yeah well...” Aoba chewed his lip a little, “I can't stand it. You guys make me so nervous.”

“That wasn't what we were trying to do. Sorry, I guess.”

Aoba was quiet for a while after that. Noiz worried that perhaps he was in a mood with him. But as that moderately cruel breeze rolled on past, he watched Aoba lick the pads of a couple of fingers and reach into the air.

“Winds coming from that way...” Aoba said with a point of his finger.  
“Yeah? I can't ever tell by doing that...”  
“It's a grand skill I've picked up from sitting in the garden so much...”  
“I see...”

There wasn't much to say to that. Sometimes it was hard to talk to Aoba, even on days when he was in a good mood. 

It wasn't as if he had all that much to talk about. He spoke mostly about Tae-san; his rare trips to a physiotherapist; his lack of doing anything. Noiz didn't think badly of him, and that was literally why he was spending time pushing Aoba across town. Perhaps one day he might even invite Koujaku and they could all hang out together like normal guys...

He snorted.

Then tensed a little, wondering if Aoba had heard him.

Yeah right... 

Noiz had tried to have Mizuki and Koujaku over once before for shits and giggles. Mizuki was an inoffensive person in all respects and never rubbed Noiz the wrong way. Koujaku on the other hand...  
It was the last time he'd had either of them over.

He was there for Aoba. Koujaku and Mizuki weren't naturally his friends otherwise. He wasn't particularly bothered by it, being that he was a solitary soul most of the time. 

 

He raised his eyes upwards as they approached the tall apartment blocks in the noisier part of town. There were quite a few people out still; going to clubs and doing some late night shopping. Noiz gave a loud group of girls a sharp look as they passed by closely, and saw Aoba visibly shrink back into his chair.

Noiz sighed and patted his shoulder gently, though he still made Aoba jump from the touch.  
“Almost there. Don't freak.”  
“What is it with you and thinking that I'm freaking out?” Aoba asked irritably.  
“There's just a lot of people here.”  
“I'm fine.”  
“Sure...”

 

They made it across two roads and wandered toward a dingy white building nestled between two larger ones. To its credit, it looked a lot nicer than the others around it. It was painted less than white on the outside, with only a couple of floors and large windows spanning the side of the apartments.

There were no steps; just a pair of heavy double doors that Noiz had some trouble holding open whilst he guided Aoba inside. They passed over wood floors that had been polished at one point in their life - now scraped and scratched to hell - and moved toward an old looking elevator.

“I never imagined you having an apartment.” Aoba commented out of the blue, hearing the clamour of the outside fade to nothing as the doors swung shut.

Noiz turned the both of them around and pulled him into the elevator backwards, looking over his shoulder into it with a frown.  
“Why not?”  
“I don't know...I always imagined you staying with your gang or something. Kids don't have houses.”  
“I'm not a kid.”

Aoba laughed and shook his head, “No, ‘course...”

“Whatever,” He huffed as he leant back against the wall, idly thinking how nice it was to hear Aoba's laugh, even if it was aimed at him, “I sometimes stayed over in this warehouse we found once. But that was ages back. I like my space.” Noiz muttered.

“Hm.” Aoba couldn't help but grin at the confession. 

The elevator pulled away from the ground at that moment and forced a grimace onto his face instead, “Ugh...”  
“What is it?” Noiz felt the smallest spike of worry, thinking that he was in pain.  
“...I just...never liked elevators.”  
“Oh...”

 

–--

 

“Do you need a hand?”  
“No, I've got it...”

Ren jumped down from his lap as Aoba blindly felt for the sofa, putting his weight upon his hands to pull himself carefully forward. Noiz held the wheelchair still, watching as Aoba twisted sideways and dragged himself as far back as he could.

Noiz couldn't stop himself from thinking about the dire contrast. In his mind, when he thought of Aoba, he still imagined a man with honey eyes, standing tall with his hip jutted out. Confident, determined... perhaps too determined, throwing himself into deep water and probably not realising it till it was too late.

He could see the moment when Aoba had announced he was going to Platinum Jail as if it were yesterday...  
Clear had been there with them... and none of them could have known...  
Noiz clenched his jaw and forced himself to focus on the now. On the man struggling to move around on just his skinny arms. 

What's done is done.  
They could only look to the future.

Aoba paused at the silence, feeling an odd intensity radiating off of Noiz. He moved around a little more, getting comfortable on the beaten up old piece of furniture. 

He then rested his hands in his lap and raised his head a little.

“Sorted?” Noiz asked.  
“Yeah, thanks... are you okay?”  
“...Yeah. Fine. Shouldn’t I should be asking you that.”

Aoba smiled a little shrugging, “Don't mind me.”

Noiz folded up the wheelchair and placed it to the side out of the way, then slipped Aoba's bag off his shoulder onto the floor beside it.

He was unable to stop himself from glancing at Aoba's legs and feeling bad, even though Aoba could not tell he was doing so. Curiosity was a guilty thing.

Aoba still wore his usual blue jeans; although they were pinned back at the ends now, and his belt was done up tight to keep from slipping down his tiny waist. Noiz watched him rub a little at his stumps as he settled back into the cushions, lips pressed into a line against whatever discomfort he must have been feeling.

“I'll go get snacks and stuff. Relax.” Noiz said after a moment. He tore his eyes away and went toward the small kitchenette leading off from the lounge.

“Sure.”

Aoba listened to Noiz pass him, suddenly feeling unsure of himself. He had wanted so badly to get out and to just do something different. But now that he was here, his nerves had started to build up and he almost wished he was at home, buried beneath his soft pillows with Ren cuddled into his chest.

He reached out, and felt the cushion beside him immediately shift as Ren leapt up onto it, his cool nose brushing against his hand.

“Aoba, are you alright?”  
“Yeah I'm fine...”  
“Are you in pain?”  
“A little.”  
Ren jumped off the sofa, going over to Aoba's bag and biting at the zip to try and open it.  
“You should take your pills before it gets any worse.”  
“I think I'll hold off for now. Don't worry.”  
Ren dropped the zip and considered it for a moment before padding back to jump up onto Aoba's lap once again.  
“If you feel that is wise.”  
“I should be fine for a while.” Aoba said, smiling and stoked him gently.

Noiz looked up from the counter as he poured a packet of toffee popcorn into a bowl.

“If you're in pain then just take them.” Noiz stated. Aoba shook his head a little.

“I'd rather not...they make me tired. I can deal with it for now, else I'll just pass out in a half hour which is no fun.”  
“Oh.” Noiz pulled a face at that, “Can't you find anything better to take?”  
“Well...” Aoba played a bit with Ren's ear, receiving an affectionate nip from the blue pom, “Grandma made them specially for me...I take them when I need them, but they also help me get to sleep sometimes.”  
Noiz came back into the lounge, the bowl in one hand and two cans of drink in the other.

“I thought your dreams had gotten better.”  
“They have, it's just the insomnia now.” He laughed a little, “I'm doing so great.” He said as he picked at the fabric of the sofa.

“Well, that fucking sucks.” Noiz stated, flopping down on the chair beside Aoba, touching one of his hands with the cold can.

“Really does. Thanks...” He muttered as he took and opened it, going still when he felt a piece of popcorn being pushed into his lips.  
“Eat it.” Noiz insisted. Aoba allowed the piece of popcorn in, tilting his head at Noiz and raising his eyebrow, “What? It's good.”

“It's...wait, what is this?” Aoba suddenly asked, making a face. Noiz blinked at him, confused.  
“Popcorn...”  
“I know it's fucking popcorn, I was just wondering... about the flavour?” Aoba tried to smooth out his face again, forcing himself to chew.

“Toffee... you don't like toffee?”  
“... Ah, no, it's fine. I don't mind it.”  
“Are you sure? I've got butter flavour in a microwave packet for weirdos.”  
“Wha... I'm not a weirdo!”  
“Yeah you are you don't like toffee.” Noiz argued, throwing a few pieces in his mouth.  
“Look, I said it was fine didn't I?”

Ren sighed and propped himself up on his front paws, “Aoba does not like toffee. As you are offering, he would most likely prefer butter flavour.”

Noiz snorted, “There. Is that so hard to say?”

Aoba blushed angrily, “You called me weird. And Ren... why?”

Ren settled himself back down and crossed his paws, “I'm not just here to be fluffy, I am here also to look after you.”  
“You're here to be a traitor more like.”

Noiz snorted as he placed the bowl down and went back to the kitchen.

“I was trying to be polite, Ren.”  
“Aoba, it's no good if you don't tell people what it is you want. Also, you should be made aware that you are very transparent when it comes to these things.”  
“Wha...! I am not!”

Noiz attempted to tune out the bickering as he put the food on in the microwave, and randomly found himself looking toward one messy side of the room. He decided to try and dig an item out when the idea that Aoba might like it struck him. He hadn't looked at it in the longest time, buying it on a whim in one of the Old Districts random markets before realising he didn't have the patience for it.

Noiz turned back to the pair on the sofa, Ren now standing on his back legs with his paws resting on Aoba's chest.

“Aoba, admit that I am the one calling the shots here.”  
The blue haired man laughed loudly, “Wha... have you been watching the TV again?”  
“...Perhaps. Was I not commanding enough?”  
“I think you're delivery was perfect, it's just the fact you're a dog.”  
“Ah. That is a problem.”  
“Not for me.” Aoba pulled him close to his chest, pressing his forehead against his little body, “Such a fluffy puppy.”  
“Aoba. Please, stop this immediately.”  
“Not on your life.”

Noiz covered his mouth in an attempt to muffle the laugh trying to force its way out. It was such a pitiful sight, Ren with his little legs outstretched and completely useless against Aoba's grip.  
His ears were low, but Noiz could see his amusement in the wag of his tail. Ren never minded all that much about anything, especially when it was Aoba tormenting him. He loved the attention deep down.

“Aoba.” Noiz said finally, his voice carrying the mirth he felt. The boy raised his head and allowed Ren the opportunity to escape onto the cushion beside him.  
“What's up?”  
“Have a go with this.”

Noiz came over and handed him something smooth, with a small body and short neck. Aoba held it against his stomach as Ren lay against his side.

“Is this...” He frowned, “Uh...I forget what it's called. With the strings...”

“A ukulele.” Noiz came over and sat on Aoba's other side. The elder of the two began to pluck at the strings, frowning at the odd sounds coming out.

“...It, uh, may need tuning. It's been sitting in the corner forever.” Noiz muttered. He took the instrument carefully away from Aoba and searched on his coil for a tuner program.  
Taking the Ukulele in his hands, he played the four strings one by one and twisted the tuners till the program was happy with the notes.  
“There. Try again.”

Aoba grinned a little as he began plucking out something random, “It still sounds kinda weird... these notes aren't in order.”  
“Yeah, it's meant to be that way apparently...”  
“Hm...”  
He strummed it a couple of times, seeming content to just mess around.  
“Noiz, do you know any songs?”  
“... Just the one.”

Aoba smiled and nudged the head of the ukulele into his side, “Play it for me?”

Noiz huffed a little and obligingly took it out of his hands, pausing briefly to try and remember.  
“It's been a while since I've even looked at this thing...uh...C...F...C...G...yeah.”

Noiz strummed out a simple tune, making a couple of mistakes, but creating something kinda cute with only three notes.  
Aoba frowned a little, wondering where he'd heard that tune from before.  
He found his mind wondering back to his childhood, thinking of very old cartoons on a kids channel he used to watch...

“Wait... Noiz. Is that what I think it is?”  
“Depends what you think it is.”  
“It's...” Aoba laughed and shook his head, almost embarrassed, “It's from that damn cartoon with the sponge. The fun song?”  
“Boy gets a prize.”  
“That's awful...”  
“What?” Noiz plucked at his ukulele a few times, “It's the best song ever.”  
Aoba snorted and shoved his shoulder a little, “Whatever, try something else.”  
“That's all I know.”  
“If you can learn that of all things then you can learn something else. And maybe teach me how, come on.”  
“Yeah, yeah whatever.”

 

The evening continued much to that tune, and not much more was learnt. Aoba gave it a try and wasn't immediately put off by his confused fingers, following Noiz's guidance as he led the older man's hand to find each chord.

A sour note sprang from the small instrument, and Aoba flinched a little. Noiz breathed out a laugh, tousling Aoba's hair as he redirecting his hand further up the neck. He was sat half behind Aoba, head looking over the man's shoulder as his left hand guided him. It was perhaps a bit cosy, and Aoba had seemed nervous to start with, but practice had distracted them as they attempted to play something a little more modern on the little instrument.

“Well... you're almost there.”  
“I can barely tell where my fingers are.”  
“I keep showing you where to put them, just practice finding that one note.”  
“I can't help but feel your direction is terrible.”  
“Oi, it's not my fault you're fingers are dumb.”  
“Wha-” Aoba turned his head toward him, and Noiz loved to imagine the catty glare that would have been aimed his way, “It's not my faul-...you're dumb!”  
“Ooh, nice.”

“Fuck you, Noiz.” Aoba pushed the ukulele toward him, “I think I'm done with this for tonight...”  
“Are you mad at me?” Noiz asked cheekily, placing the ukulele down beside the chair.  
“Why would I waste time getting mad at a brat?”  
“I'm not a brat.”  
“Yeah okay.” Aoba poked him in the side, grinning. Noiz laughed and grabbed his wrist tightly, shaking it a little.

“Well, this brat is gonna train these to be more useful.”  
“Oi, you're gonna pull me over.”  
“Heh.”

Aoba placed his other hand down on the cushion, lips quirked. He had already fallen forward a little way, resting against Noiz for support with only one arm left to prop him up.  
“I guess I could deal with more lessons later... So. What now?”

Noiz paused, feeling Aoba's warmth seeping into his side. He slowly released his wrist, and thought how often he'd heard that line in certain dirty videos he'd seen...  
Trust his mind to take that route.

Noiz shrugged, blushing slightly as he turned his head away from Aoba's hair and helped him sit up, “I could always play that music I was talking about...”  
“Okay. I've honestly listened to all my music a hundred times... do you have anything actually decent?”  
“Yeah.” Noiz said, almost affronted.

 

–--

 

“Noiz...what is this?”  
“They call it Retro Electro.”

Aoba laughed once, just listening, “It sounds dumb.”

“Oi. It's amazing.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
“It is.”

Aoba started giggling, a fist of popcorn in one hand and his can of drink in the other. Noiz pouted at him, annoyed.

“I'm making a mad face at you.”  
“Oh, are you?” Aoba completely cracked up then. He couldn't handle it.  
“What?” Noiz demanded.  
“N-no...” Aoba was laughing so hard that he had to brace himself with his popcorn hand, drink outstretched as he shook, “Oh my god. Take it, just take it.”

Noiz, still frowning, took the can from his spot on the floor in front of the chair.

It took a short while for Aoba to catch his breath and by the time that had happened, Noiz was smiling.  
Laughter was so infectious. 

“You know you're a dick, Aoba.”

The remnants of his fit bubbled up and Aoba grinned, “I'm just telling it how it is.”

“I don't think you're one to talk. You listen to Goatbed.”

“Woah.” Aoba stopped abruptly, all amusement gone from his features and one hand held up in front of him, “You lay off Goatbed. They're amazing.”  
“Then you lay off my old electro.”  
“Fine, whatever.” Aoba shook his head, smiling once more.

“So. What do you want to do now?”  
“Hm.” Aoba finally stuffed his mouth with the somewhat crushed popcorn, rubbing along one thigh, “I dunno.”

“All I have left is games and podcasts... could try and play an old Smash Bros.”  
“Wha- Noiz?” Aoba pointed up at his blindfold.  
“What? We play one of the old ones, you just mash buttons and win. Could be funny.”  
“Yeah, I don't think so. Where's my drink?”  
“Spoil sport.” Noiz said wistfully, nudging Aoba's hand with the can.

“What about stories? I like stories.” Aoba said in a thoughtful voice. Noiz tilted his head a little, thinking.

“Mine would literally extend to beating people up and computers. I think that would bore you.”

“Well come on, there's gotta be something more than that. I mean honestly... I barely know anything about you. You're a hacker, leader of Ruff Rabbit, you like green way too much, you piss Koujaku off to no end... what else?”

Noiz was looking at him, chewing his lip.

“... I don't know if I have anything nice to tell you.”

Aoba paused, playing with the can in his hands.  
“How do you mean?”  
“... I've only been on Midorijima a few years. And I didn't have the best time of it before I came here so... nothing much to tell.”  
“Oh.”

Aoba shifted a little. That was a slight hint to not pry anymore, so he decided to ask questions that could allow for vague answers. He was still so curious.

“Well... where are you from then? Originally.”  
“Germany.”  
“You don't have much of an accent.”  
“... I knew how to speak Japanese more or less before I arrived.”  
“No way.” Aoba considered it, “That's impressive...”  
“Not really...”

Aoba would probably have stared at him for that, once upon a time.

“... I think you and me have varying ideas of what's impressive and what's not. I don't know another language.”  
“Anyone can learn if they try hard enough. Immersion is important. Living with the language is the only way to become fluent.”  
“Hm... maybe I'll visit Germany one day, then.”

Noiz looked at him oddly.

“You want to learn German?”

“I don't know, maybe.”

“English would be more useful.”

Aoba shrugged, “I don't know anyone who speaks English.”  
“So, what, you're expecting me to teach you?”  
“Well, uhm... Maybe... it would be cool if you did. I've got all the time to learn.”

Noiz watched him as he sipped his drink, looking as if he were deeply considering it.

“... Okay.”

“Huh?” Aoba turned to him and Noiz rolled his eyes.  
“About teaching you German. Okay.”  
“You mean it?” Aoba's face broke into a grin.

“Yeah... It will be more difficult for you I'd think. Maybe I could get you German Braille books and stuff... so whatever.”  
“Oh.” Aoba perked up a little, then made a face, “I... can't read Braille.”  
“Then that's something else you need to learn. Maybe deal with your Japanese reading skills first.”  
“Y-yeah... one thing at a time. Well anyway, when I get round to learning German I would appreciate it, so thank you.”  
“Yeah sure. I guess I could start looking into stuff for you. But not tonight, I think I'm ready to crash.”

Aoba sighed a little, “Yeah I'm kinda tired.”  
“I'll go get your chair.”  
“Huh? Aren't I staying here?”

Noiz snorted, “What kind of person would I be if I made you sleep out here?”

Aoba shook his head, “But it's your house. I don't exactly need the space.”  
“Aoba I don't care, I'm not making you sleep on the sofa.”  
Aoba nodded meekly, rubbing his arm a little and feeling awkward as Noiz set his chair back up and brought it to him.

“Come on. Gimme that drink.” Noiz took the can from Aoba and placed it on the coffee table behind him.  
Ren jumped onto the floor as Aoba reached out and found the seat of the wheelchair, saying a quiet thanks as he shifted himself back into it. He made a small sound of discomfort and Noiz frowned with concern.

“What is it?”  
“Just... my backs been hurting lately. This wheelchair is no good for me; everything just aches in the evenings.”  
“Hm. Would a massage help?”

Aoba turned his head in Noiz's direction as he considered it. His grandmother often tried to help his back with massages and baths, but he felt a little weird about Noiz doing anything like that.  
“You do massages?”  
Noiz shrugged, pushing him toward the bedroom, “Sure. Sometimes to get information out of people you gotta know some weird things.”  
Aoba paused, “You... what?”  
“I make money from gathering information. Most of it I covertly collect... but sometimes it helps to just ask nicely.”

Noiz sounded so flat as he spoke, and Aoba felt this was one of those times he needed to just accept what he was hearing and move on.  
“That's... um... yeah.”

He felt the atmosphere change around him, sensing they had entered the other room. It felt smaller than the lounge; the sounds a bit closer around him than when he'd been sat on the sofa.

“The bathroom is in here so do you want me to wheel you in there or whatever?”  
Aoba blushed a little, “Um. Probably should. Yeah.”

Noiz took him over to the bathroom door and nudged it open, wheeling him inside.  
“You need help or...”  
“No, no. Uh, just put me close and I should be fine.”

Noiz shrugged. He honestly didn't care either way. Though he didn't like how flustered Aoba seemed to get over something perfectly natural.  
“Loo roll is here. I'll be outside, just yell if you need anything.”  
“I will...”

Noiz closed the door lightly behind him and set about gathering bedding for himself, taking one of the pillows from the bed and a blanket from the closet. He tossed them from the doorway onto the sofa, deciding then to tidy up the bedroom a little.

There wasn't exactly much point, he knew that. It wasn't as if Aoba could see any of the mess around his apartment, but he still felt oddly self conscious. Just because his friend was blind didn't mean he shouldn't at least try and be neat. 

It was about five minutes later when he heard the toilet flush and caught the tiny call for him to come back to the bathroom.

“You okay?” He asked as he came over, hesitating by the door.  
“Yeah... you can come in.”  
Noiz pushed the door open and found Aoba back in his chair, head turned away.  
“I need to wash my hands...”  
“Okay.”

He took the wheelchair by its handles and pushed it to the sink, frowning at how much higher than Aoba it was.  
“Can you reach?”

Aoba stretched up a little and tried it, “Yeah it's fine.” He finished up quickly and Noiz tossed a towel at him so he could dry his hands. 

“Sorted?”  
“Yes...”

Noiz pulled him out of the bathroom backwards, feeling that odd weight in his stomach once again. Aoba suddenly seemed a bit removed; head down, hands in his lap. What could he even say that would make Aoba feel any better?  
Nothing that hadn't been said before.

 

Aoba gave a soft yelp as the wheelchair bumped into the bed, stretching an arm out to steady himself.

It was all he could ever do to try and distract Aoba from his own self conscious and depressed thoughts, and tonight would be no different.

“Final stop.”

Aoba nodded and moved to climb back off the chair. Noiz looked away this time as Aoba struggled onto the bed, though by this point Aoba was probably beyond caring whether Noiz saw him or not.  
Either way, he felt like he should give the man some privacy this time.

“Um... Noiz?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Could you get my bag for me? My pills...”  
“Yeah just a sec.” He watched as Ren jumped quietly up onto the bed and joined Aoba where he was settling himself down, before placing the wheelchair out of the way. He wandered back into the small lounge, grabbing the bag off the floor.

He almost threw the bag onto the bed when he walked back in, but barely caught himself as he remembered how jumpy Aoba tended to be these days. It helped seeing the warning look Ren had directed towards him just as he'd gone to do it.

“Here.”  
“Thanks...”

Aoba pulled the bag to him and started rooting around in it, finding a small pill bottle inside and sighing as he pulled it out.

“You get embarrassed over silly things.” Noiz said, hands in his pockets.

“What?” Aoba raised his head, frowning.

“Just now. You've gone all quiet because I had to push you to the bathroom.”

Aoba sat back a little, “... Is that not something I should be embarrassed about?”  
“Well, we're the only ones here and I don't mind.”  
“... That's not really it...”  
“Isn't it?”  
Aoba traced the lid of his pill bottle with his thumb, “It's not about if you care or not. I'm the one who has to put up with people getting involved in my personal things...”  
“I guess that would suck... but we're all friends here, I'm telling you it's nothing to freak out over.”

Aoba shook his head, “I'm not fr- ... I think if you were the one sitting in that chair you might feel a bit differently.”

Noiz shrugged, “I doubt it. I'm just trying to tell you that you shouldn't care so much. I see you get upset at tiny things like that and I just wonder why you aren't used to it by now.”  
Aoba was silent for a moment, mouth slightly open, “Tiny things... do you even hear what you're saying?”

“... Yes?”

“Noiz, how the hell am I supposed to get used to this?”  
“I don't know... I was just thinking it's been a year already.”  
“It's been a year. And for the first 23 years of my life I had eyes and legs. No I haven't damn well got used to this.” Aoba bit back. 

“Hey.” Noiz kept his voice low, “I wasn't meaning to piss you off. I was just trying to offer some perspective.”

“Oh? I can tell you I have brilliant perspective. My friends have to do things for me that I should damn well be able to do myself, but it's fine. You wanna know something Noiz? I can't stand it. And yet here you are telling me I shouldn't care.” 

Aoba's voice was rising and Ren whined a little as he lay himself over one of Aoba's thighs.

Noiz blinked. He could feel the distress and anger radiating off the older man and wondered just what it was that he'd said wrong. Frustration replaced his confusion at his inability to understand Aoba. Why couldn't see how much pain he was causing himself by obsessing over things?

“Well what the fuck point is there in worrying about what other people think and crying over stuff that you can't even help? It's a waste of time and energy. And you shouldn't get so mad when someone tries to show you how to make things easier for yourself.” 

Aoba tensed, his fists clenching the sheets beneath him, “How could anything make this easier!? This is my life now! I'm being constantly led around like a child, don't you understand how shit that is!? I don't feel like an adult anymore because I can't even do simple fucking things for myself! I can't just stop caring about something I've always had, especially now that it's been taken from me!”

“Okay, I get it.” Noiz snapped.

Aoba shook his head, laughing once, “No, I don't think you do.”

“Look, Aoba-”

“No. Damn it, Noiz, just...” Aoba rubbed his face, shaking a little, “Just get out. I'm tired.”

“You... Whatever.” 

Noiz turned and stalked out, almost slamming the door as it shut behind him.

Aoba jerked at the sudden noise and curled over himself, biting his lip. It was a poor attempt to stop the tears that so badly wanted to fall.

“Aoba...” Ren said softly, pressing his nose to Aoba's cheek.  
He didn't reply, just sat there in silence until a sob finally forced its way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll tell you now this was actually a whole 18 pages longer until a few days ago. A combination of life events and a lack of time meant it was split so my beta didn't pull his hair out from the time limit I asked of him. Also I think he was about to kill me over all my mistakes with ellipsis so we took an agreed break :')
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this and hopefully the next part may be out in a shorter amount of time, so bear with me and I will apologise now for the sort of cliffhanger I've left this on.
> 
> If you wish to see the more or less frequent updates regarding Make Me Whole, my tumblr is showmetheaobooty.tumblr.com. I also post a LOT of dmmd stuff so you might enjoy that I dunno.
> 
> And whilst I'm here, please give peptalkrobodt @ tumblr a look. He is my lovely beta and I feel a mention is warranted since I'm so appreciative of the fact he puts up with all my crap.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evening takes yet another unexpected turn

_“I'm just trying to tell you that you shouldn't care so much. I see you get upset at tiny things like that and I just wonder why you aren't used to it by now.”_

Aoba lay there quietly, hearing Noiz's words over and over in his head as he tried to stifle his tears. It had been a difficult thing to hear. 

When someone was trying to help yet couldn't fully understand the situation, often times they only caused more hurt. 

Aoba was self-conscious about stuff like any normal person would be, with perhaps a few other things that most others would think nothing of. But out of everything he had ever been embarrassed about, he had never once imagined that someone would call him out over the insecurities he had about his disabilities. 

Aoba realised at this point however, that there were few boundaries of which Noiz would not cross. 

He was vocal about the things he disliked, rarely backed down when challenged, and perhaps the worst thing was that he seemed unable to understand people in situations different from his own. Aoba didn't know if that was because of his upbringing, if he was simply a dick because he wanted to be, or perhaps Aoba wasn't seeing past the crude way in which Noiz explained things.

Perhaps Aoba was making the exact same mistake as Noiz, in that he was holding him to a standard of empathy that the boy didn’t in fact reach for whatever reason.

Aoba thought about that possibility for a short while, sniffling now and again.  
As the minutes ticked by and his anger began to seep away, his mind finally pushed past the insult and irritation.

Maybe he had been wrong to blow up at Noiz like that. They'd had a great night, and Aoba had genuinely enjoyed himself for the first time in a long while. The fact that Noiz had invited him here in the first place to give him something to do told Aoba that his heart had been in the right place for most of the evening. 

That he'd probably noticed how depressed Aoba had become at his grandmothers when it had been time for everyone to leave...

He hated how transparent he was these days.

But still, had Noiz honestly not listened to the words leaving his own mouth?

Granted he was still basically a kid, no matter how you looked upon it. He was not all that much younger than Aoba was, but even just a few years made a big difference when people hit 20. That was probably half the reason why Koujaku and Noiz hated each other, they were so different when put together. Their views rarely crossed over. Yet Aoba sat comfortably in the middle, not entirely grown up yet but certainly not a child either.

Perhaps Noiz still hadn't learnt that some things were best kept to himself. That was something only learned when shit like this happened, when a person realises the effect they have on others. It seemed like a simple concept but it was something far harder to realise in practice.

Noiz had poured over his pain and depression without care or thought, like alcohol over a raw and bloody wound. Noiz had only seen Aoba's situation through his own eyes... And even the fact that Noiz had eyes at all probably, in a twisted way, blinded him to the things Aoba now had to put up with. How can anyone know what something is like simply by being told?  
They can't.

 

Aoba pondered over Noiz's words once more.

And he wondered... Why wasn't he used to it by now?

He'd had the time to adjust to his new way of life, to get used to the things he'd have to put up with.

But... There were some things that he just couldn't accept, not when he thought about his lost independence, of the people he could have met, of the places he could have gone to and the things he could have seen. Especially now that Platinum Jail was open to the island. 

Simple things he could no longer experience as he once did, like just going to the bar with Mizuki and Koujaku.

Here he was, always inside, always away from anything that might hurt or startle him.

And there was Noiz... Watching him grow more miserable over the little things... Because the little things were all he had left.

He couldn't blame Noiz. Either he didn't understand, or perhaps he understood far more than Aoba thought. Did that mean he was allowed to talk to Aoba that way? 

Perhaps he'd had dealt with things in his own life, and his remedy had been to shut himself off from what he felt. Aoba was unable to do that, and the very notion made him wrinkle his nose in annoyance. People were so very different...

What he did know however, was that Noiz's social skills were abysmal at the best of times, and that perhaps he required a little more leeway than someone like Koujaku would ever deserve if he’d said such things. 

Because Koujaku knew better.

That right there was the whole point.

No... Noiz hadn't meant to upset Aoba. That was his conclusion. However he still felt as if he needed an apology or something.

So Aoba sighed heavily, and felt the last few tears escape through the gap between the blindfold and his skin, and decided that if Noiz came back... He would try and be understanding. 

He held Ren tighter against him as the little dog expressed concern over Aoba's mental readings, and simply drowned the dogs voice out.

It was like pulling up tree roots as he forced his mind out of the dark hole it was trying hard to sink into. His moods were unpredictable these days. Often when he got this low this quickly it was a sign of something worse and Ren was on alert.

But it worried Aoba that he could no longer tell if he had reacted in the correct way considering it was Noiz, or if perhaps he was so far gone that he would always flip off the handle when spoken to about simply being wheeled to the bathroom. He had to let this go, for everyone's sake, even if Noiz was a fucking idiot.

But most of all, it probably wouldn't do to have Aoba's only way home angry at him because Noiz couldn't wrap his mind around the things you shouldn't say to a cripple. That was something he needed to learn sooner rather than later, now that they were spending more time together. 

Aoba needed to be patient, he guessed.

 

-

 

Noiz all but stomped into the kitchen, grabbing some crisps from the cupboard and slamming it shut. He was fuming, and a bit alarmed at what had just happened considering how calm the evening had been until just two minutes ago.

He didn't see anything wrong with what Aoba had to do. It was awful that he couldn't walk anymore, or to just be able to move around how he wanted to, but the point was he was getting upset over something that was now a fact of life. What point was there in getting depressed over it? It annoyed him, when he knew that letting go might make Aoba's life a little happier and easier.

He hadn't even been trying to upset Aoba, and honestly couldn’t understand how everything had just imploded like it did. He'd been sincere, speaking his mind and expecting Aoba to see it for what it was. Simple advice that had helped Noiz, and that might have helped him.

He collapsed onto the sofa, breathing out harshly and throwing a few crisps into his mouth.

 

Or...

 

Perhaps... This was one of those times when he'd run his mouth without thinking about how it sounded at all. Saying shit before realising he'd be better off keeping it shut. Because honestly, he had no idea what it was like to be in Aoba's position and he never would.

The amount of times this had already happened in his life... He should have learnt by now...

Noiz ran a hand down his face and closed his eyes, heaving a sigh.

Whatever.

Aoba needed to calm down either way. If he was even going to try and fix this, their moods both needed to be level and he knew that he was very close to flying off the handle if he didn't take a breather.

Noiz waited ten minutes, then slowly wandered back to the bedroom. The door was now a barrier between them, and he wondered if Aoba had gone to sleep whilst he'd been on this side. He felt slightly nervous, hesitating as he carefully opened it and looked round the door frame.

Aoba was lying on his side in the same spot, curled around Ren who was snuggled into his chest.

There were damp patches on his blindfold, and Noiz rolled his eyes at the growing bubble of guilt that appeared beneath his heart. He honestly couldn't give two shits about most other people, but Aoba didn't even have to try and he felt bad.

So he steeled himself, and walked in slowly. Ren raised his head a little to look at him and Noiz could see his little teeth poke out in quiet warning. He looked away, bringing up a hand to run through his hair.

“Listen, Aoba... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. Missing your legs isn't something you can just get over, and all that stuff that goes with it... I sort of heard what I said trying to make out like it was nothing and... And that was a pretty shitty thing to do...”

He waited. Aoba curled a little tighter around Ren and sniffed, but said nothing. He chewed on one of his lip piercings and wondered if this was perhaps the first time he'd properly apologised to anyone in his life.

“I know you probably hate me right now... It's just... From my own experience with things... Once you stop caring, things just get easier. The circumstances don't exactly compare but it's still the truth.”

He paused, and tried this time to find the right words.

“I shouldn't have said it like I expected you to just accept it and move on. Truth is... I say shit I don't mean, or I think it sounds pretty great until it's been said and right now I'm kinda just wishing I could take it all back...”

Silence fell once more, and Noiz actually began to worry that Aoba wasn't listening. He wouldn't have been surprised.

Ren continued to watch him, seeming more sad than defensive now, with the way his ears had drooped.

Finally, after the longest minute of his life, a small and rather fragile sounding voice emerged.

“I was thinking... That maybe you didn't mean it like that.”

Noiz sighed out slowly, “I really didn’t.”

“You're still a dick though...”

Noiz almost laughed in relief, closing his eyes, “Yeah I know.”

“Do you know what it's like having no freedom at all?” Aoba asked softly.

Noiz tensed, bitter memories floating to the surface. 

Yes.

He could tell Aoba and maybe show him that he actually understood better than Aoba could ever imagine. He'd wanted a story before hadn't he?

But... Now wasn't the time and this wasn't about him, so he kept quiet for a lack of anything so say.

When Noiz didn't reply, Aoba gave a tired breath, “It gets frustrating... Sometimes I want to be able to just stand up and go outside, I want to be able to move. I can't even just shift around right when I'm sitting, it's difficult... So... You need to understand that when you say shit like that, I'm going to get mad. Because you're telling me my life could be easier and I swear I've already tried thinking it all through and just accepting what I am now. I can't do it... I'm just... I'm losing it...”

Aoba uncurled himself a little, running a hand down Ren's back, “Maybe not caring works for you... But I can't actually do that. Because if I stop caring then... Won't that just mean that I'm giving up? I might stop doing whatever it is that's making me carry on... And at the very least I struggle not to die from boredom these days...” Aoba smiled a little, completely humourless. 

Noiz stopped, hearing those words and feeling odd.

Aoba let his words sink in, and sighed as he continued to stroke Ren, “Am I making sense?” 

Noiz put his hands in his pockets, looking off somewhere else.  
“Too much sense...”  
“Hm.” Aoba smiled a little more, “After everything you said... That you were speaking from experience, I get the feeling I'm not the only one who's been through some awful shit...”

Noiz shifted awkwardly. Aoba's words had definitely made him think about things he hadn't thought about in a long time. He wasn't about to tell him that however.

He was still here, after everything, but only by sheer luck.

Had Noiz given up on his life because he'd stopped caring?

He'd spent the past few years fucking around, doing little with it but spying on people and eating crap. There was no illusion that he didn't take care of himself. It was a miracle that he hadn't lost limbs himself to infection from the injuries he tended to obtain every other week.

He'd calmed down a lot since Aoba had returned... And now most of his time seemed to be spent with the stricken boy...

He sighed to himself, not liking how the end of this night had gone. This hadn't been the plan at all.

“At least you have people to rely on all around you. You're not going through this alone. You should be glad about that at the very least.”

Aoba's smile faded a little, “Yeah... I am...” His voice grew softer, and Noiz barely caught the words as they left his lips, “I just wonder if they get tired of me sometimes...”

“...I'm not tired of you.” 

Aoba seemed to hesitate, hiding his face just a little, “Oh... I'm glad.”

Well, Noiz definitely got something from their time together. He sort of hoped that Aoba did too...

 

“Listen, I'll just go so you can sleep...” He muttered, feeling uncomfortable by whatever revelation they had just sort of stumbled upon, and turned to leave again. He'd said his piece, as far as he was aware they were sort of okay now.

“Wait... Noiz.”

Aoba slowly pushed himself up till he was sitting, head bowed just a little.

“What..?” 

“I'm sorry... That I got so mad.”

“I don't think you need to apologise for that.”

Aoba shrugged a little, “I think I was being a bit touchy...”

“It was pretty justified.” 

“Maybe...” Aoba rubbed at his arm, “I'm still sorry.”

Noiz worried his lip, having nothing more to say. That was, until he realised that he'd forgotten his offer from before, “Well hey. Did you still want that massage?”

“What? Oh... Well... I guess you kinda maybe owe me something after all of that.” Aoba muttered, fidgeting a little.

Noiz smiled, “I suppose I do, so that you can sleep better at least. Your back is still being a pain?”

Aoba nodded as Noiz walked towards the bed. Aoba lifted Ren into a hug before putting him into sleep mode.

“Night, Ren.”

“Goodnight, Aoba.”

Noiz climbed onto the soft mattress and moved to sit beside him.

“I'm no expert at this, just tell me if I do something weird. Lay down on your front.”

“Okay...” Aoba placed Ren on the floor, then lowered his body onto the bed as he shifted around, his head resting upon his crossed arms.

“Where does it hurt?”

“Lower down... I sit badly all day...”

Noiz hummed as he pressed the heel of his hands either side of Aoba's lumbar. It was only a moment of pressure but Aoba gasped loud enough to cause Noiz to stop, afraid he'd done something.

“You okay?”  
“Wh-... Yeah... Fine, keep going...” He was hiding his face now, but Noiz could clearly see that he was blushing. Noiz smiled as he continued, amused.

“You're like, super sensitive aren't you?”  
“I am not.”  
“Then why are you blushing?”  
“Shut up.”  
“What? It's the truth isn't it?”  
“...”

Noiz chuckled softly as he worked up and down Aoba's back, paying special attention to the places where he vaguely remembered pressure points to be. It wasn't something he did often, and he didn't think for a minute this was the best he could have done. But going by the small noises Aoba was trying to suppress, it couldn't have been that bad.

The angle he was sitting at proved to be awkward after a time, his wrists getting stiff and clumsy. He pulled back for a moment to flex them, and Aoba turned his head a little, questioningly.

“Is... Everything fine?”  
“Yeah. This might be weird, but I'm gonna sit on your thighs.”  
“Eh?”  
“To make this easier.”

“Oh...” Aoba shifted a little. Noiz could tell from the way he'd tensed up that he was nervous. He didn't know why, it wasn't like Noiz was planning to try anything. Or was he just being self-conscious again? He opened his mouth to reassure him but Aoba beat him to it with a tiny, “Okay...”

Noiz moved carefully from the man's side, straddling his lower half. Perhaps it was inappropriate being this close to Aoba. It was definitely closer than Koujaku was ever going to get and that thought had Noiz smirking.

Either way, Aoba could definitely have done with relaxing a bit. He could only help him if he were able to do this right.

“Just tell me what you want.” Noiz said softly, noticing how Aoba's lips parted as he pressed both thumbs into stiff muscle.

“Uh... Uhm... Higher...”  
Noiz ran his palms slowly upwards, keeping a steady, warm pressure as he moved. Aoba's top rode upwards with the motion, pale skin peeking out from beneath.

“Good?”

Aoba sighed and nodded, “Yeah...”

Noiz squeezed Aoba's shoulders, forcing a tiny pleasurable sound from Aoba's throat. He smiled, watching as Aoba turned to jelly in his hands with only a few presses and strokes...

He bit his lip. That was a train of thought that lead to dangerous places.

Noiz sighed, looking away from Aoba as he dragged both hands down either side of the man's spine, the fabric of his top snagging on his hands once more. He huffed irritably, cautiously pushing the fabric upwards as he pressed his fingers into bare skin.

Aoba seemed to tense up again, his mind returning from wherever it had wandered off to.  
“Uh...”  
Noiz paused, “Is this okay?”  
“It's... Um…”  
“You can tell me to stop.”  
“No. It’s fine. Just weird.”  
“What, you’ve never had anyone this close before?” Noiz teased. Aoba blushed once more, his eyebrows creasing as he pressed his lips together.

Noiz smiled, those hands continued to smooth across his skin, working into tense bundles and warming Aoba wherever they touched. The higher up his body they worked, the more his top began to interfere. This continued for a while, as Aoba would relax slowly but was pulled back to reality by the tightness of his shirt around his neck and arms.

He sighed and set his jaw as Noiz drew his hands down his back once more.

“Wait.”

“Hm?” Noiz moved up onto his knees as Aoba started twisting around onto his side. He grabbed onto the hem of his top, slowly pulling it up and over head. His hair spread across the sheets as it was freed, and Aoba tossed the item away a short distance.

Noiz found himself watching as Aoba's body curved and shifted, his ribs a little too prominent beneath his skin but not unpleasantly so. As he waited for Aoba to settle back down again, resting his head back upon his crossed arms, he caught himself chewing distractedly at his lip.  
Okay. So Aoba had an effect upon him. That was new.

“...Noiz?”  
“Yeah...” He licked at his bruised lip, placing himself back down upon Aoba's thighs as he splayed his fingers across the man's shoulder blades. His left hand slowly moved to brush Aoba’s hair from his shoulder blades, seeing how the man shivered as it tickled his skin. His fingers trailed down across muscle and bone, and he wondered how Aoba would feel against his fingers, if they felt at all. Soft, he imaged, warm. The thoughts that grew and perpetuated as he traced Aoba’s back only went and had Noiz’s heart beat a little faster than before.

He almost couldn't believe himself. Aoba had no idea about the turn of his thoughts whilst he lay there, entirely under the impression that Noiz was trying to help him. 

He felt bad about it. Almost. It wasn't as if he could help it. Aoba had always fallen under that category of what Noiz found attractive, thought naturally he'd been too preoccupied with more important things, such as rhyme, to pay that any attention.

However at this point... Noiz was suddenly and vividly aware of the fact that Aoba was currently on his bed, pressed down beneath him whilst half naked, and making little sounds that in any other context would have been questionable.

For a short time he tried to ignore his growing desires, and for a short time that worked. He diligently worked into the muscles and saw how Aoba’s shoulders relaxed the longer this went on.

Eventually, and inevitably, his hands took on a mind of their own. From his shoulder blades, Noizs’s hands started to brush down Aoba's sides with no real pressure, feeling over every rib and curve and making Aoba twitch with sensitivity. Was it so wrong to just want to touch him? 

 

The whole time this was going on... Aoba didn't know what to think.  
He’d felt so calm, so relaxed. Noiz was surprisingly good at this, and his back didn’t ache much at all, it was wonderful. But… Something in the room had changed, and this wasn't exactly much of a massage anymore. 

Not with the way Noiz's hands were paying special attention to his waist and whatever of his stomach they could reach. But he said nothing, just allowed himself to be touched gently because... It wasn't unpleasant. 

Noiz's hands had returned to his back, and Aoba released a small breath. Despite his renewed nerves, his body still managed to relax into the touches that were now more curious than purposeful.

He felt those hands as they trailed down his body once more, felt them pause just above his hips, and an odd excitement filled him.

What was Noiz thinking of..?

The weight shifted above him, and Noiz's hands disappearing till the bed dipped either side of him. It was silent, then...

He felt a pressure on his back, a pleasant warmth. Then something pressed against his shoulder, soft and wet, and twice more till Noiz reached his neck and paused. He felt Noiz's breath across his hair, tickling his skin, and the slickness of his tongue poking out to taste him once.

Noiz...

The younger of the two pulled his head away slowly, eyes dark, wondering how many lines he was crossing here. Aoba had seemingly frozen beneath him, perhaps waiting to see what Noiz would do next.

Noiz shifted forward again, a small smirk on his lips as his nerves flared up inside himself. This could become awkward in a single moment, and he half assumed Aoba would push him away once he had recovered from his shock.

So he continued to rest on Aoba’s back, one hand stroking his side as Noiz kissed slowly, teasingly from Aoba's neck towards his jaw. He heard the smallest intake of breath, Aoba's hands moving and clenching the sheets beneath him as he flicked out his tongue, tasting him and deciding that, yes, Aoba's skin was very soft.  
Nuzzling once behind Aoba’s ear, Noiz sat back, studying the man beneath him as he pressed into his muscles again with his hands. He didn't know why but... He just wanted to touch Aoba, as much as he could. His mind has taken him down this road, and his body was more than willing to follow.

Aoba squirmed and he stopped, watching as Aoba shifted and pushed himself upwards. Noiz moved off of his legs when Aoba attempted to sit, though his left hand was still lightly against his back, stroking with the pad of his thumb. As Aoba shifted round to face him, Noiz felt that spark of nervousness once more. It was so much easier when Aoba wasn't doing anything... What if he was angry?

Those thoughts disappeared from his mind when Aoba reached out to him, his fingers brushing blindly against the fabric of his shirt and finding purchase there. They shook a little with uncertainty and Noiz moved closer, perhaps to calm him or... Something. He didn’t really know.

Noiz fixed his eyes upon the blindfold, wishing abruptly with a clench of his heart that they could meet with Aoba’s. The man's eyes would have been so expressive in that very moment, so telling of what Aoba actually wanted. He supposed it was enough however to feel Aoba as he moved his hand, brushing across Noiz's chest to his collarbone. He saw Aoba swallow and incline his head down just slightly as a blush rose upon his cheeks.

His hand stopped, almost like a barrier between them, and Noiz half expected Aoba to push him away, finally, as he thought he would have done. Was Aoba annoyed with him? Embarrassed? He'd asked for a massage, and Noiz had taken advantage of their positions he knew... But Aoba hadn't told him once to get away. 

That moment stretched on for the longest time, or so it seemed, whilst Aoba considered whatever was going through his mind. Finally, Aoba moved once more, pressing that hand against the side of his neck. Noiz breathed out in relief, his heart thrumming with the beginnings of his want, and with the fear of overwhelming Aoba.

Perhaps he shouldn't have worried. Aoba moved ever closer to him, and found the piercings on the back of his neck as his hand slipped round. Noiz made a small sound when Aoba began to play with them, and Noiz saw his eyebrows raise in surprise.

“I never noticed these ones... When I could see you.” Aoba murmured. Noiz allowed himself to touch the arm that was supporting Aoba’s body, stroking it.

“There's a few piercings you would've missed...” 

He heard the slight suggestive tone in his own voice, and almost laughed when Aoba blushed an even deeper shade of pink.

“You...” He looked like he wanted to say something, as Noiz's hand came to rest over his on the sheets.

“What?”

“Will...” Aoba licked his lips nervously, oblivious to the sudden intensity of Noiz's gaze as he watched, “...Will you show me?”

Noiz breathed out, his pulse jumping as he carefully pushed his nose into the crook of Aoba's neck, feeling him tense again at the sudden touch.

“Aoba...”

“Ah... What..?” 

“Just...” He kissed him there, trying to make his intentions clear. It was enough to draw a tiny gasp from the other's lips, “You don't know what you're asking for.” There was amusement in his voice and Aoba clearly grew more flustered.

“Wh... What do you mean..?”

Noiz traced his nose against the skin of Aoba's neck, smiling, “I'd have to show you all of me… Everything...”

“Oh...”

Aoba was trembling, the hand on his piercings going still. Noiz couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, and he knew Aoba could feel it. What surprised him is when Aoba began urging Noiz closer, to press against him.

“Perverted brat...” He sighed, though he didn't sound at all annoyed.

“Is that what you want...?”

Aoba went quiet, and Noiz continued to place tiny kisses along his neck and bare shoulder. Aoba didn't seem to be able to answer, his lips parting silently. Instead, his hand moved round to touch Noiz's cheek, to pull his face toward his own. He could see Aoba swallow, and finally, after a long few moments he whispered,  
“...Show me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not confident about this at all. Some of you might have seen on my tumblr that my beta has been unable to help me with chapters because of rl things coming up, which is fair enough. I've checked this through many times, there may still be mistakes, and my understanding of grammar and everything isn't perfect.
> 
> I need to know what people think, and reassurance I guess lol. I'm just tired of this sitting on my computer doing nothing so I'm getting it out into the open now before I change my mind.
> 
> The second half of this is going up immediately, and then part 5 will probs take another month to type up depending on motivation and uni work. I have two presentations next week ;-; I'm freaking out. But I wanted people to know that this isn't at all abandoned and that I want people to still enjoy this.  
> I'm sorry this doesn't much further the story at all, but part 5 everything will start to happen so I hope these next two parts tide you all over until then.
> 
>  
> 
> I also super want to know what people want to see from this fic... do they want fluffy moments, specific scenes that perhaps you won't see in a lot of fics, I don't know. I love detail, so even the mundane things can be adorable and I want to write that but I'll only have what I've come up with. The overall plot is set, and the end has been written, but everything in between is alright to shift around a little ^^


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no coming back from this.

Noiz made a rumbling sound in his throat, pushing Aoba down suddenly. Perhaps he was a little too rough from the yelp Aoba made as his back hit the mattress, but he had barely a moment to think about it before Aoba was pulling him down just as sharply, unbalancing Noiz so that he fell with elbows either side of his mess of blue hair.

A thought barely graced Noiz's mind, wondering if he should allow this. That perhaps they should both stop before anything went any further.

Of course that would have been smart, god forbid what the others would say if they even knew what Noiz had been doing up to this moment. Touching Aoba even for a simple massage, he knew "Cowjack" would have gone ballistic. And then this... Did Aoba actually know what he wanted right now? Was it taking advantage when it was Aoba pulling him down? 

A hundred questions flitted through his mind in the brief moments before their restraints failed.

Who was he to question Aoba's motives? If the man wanted sex, after everything he'd been through then who was he to say no? He knew he'd probably give Aoba whatever he wanted, not especially this but... This was definitely fine by him. He couldn’t get past the fact that he had started this with his own selfish motivations but…

 

His mind slowed to a stop as their noses touched softly. He heard the older man exhale and Noiz brought up a hand to stroke Aoba's cheek. He brushed his hair away, ghosted across his jaw, felt his bottom lip...

It was quiet, the moment so uncertain. They both stood at a bridge they knew they shouldn't cross... That they could not return from if they did.  
One of them had to take the first step. One of them had to say no.

They waited a few quiet seconds whilst Noiz studied Aoba's face, and Aoba simply felt the warmth that Noiz radiated above him.

No never came.

Only that hand, moving back to play with his piercing, feeling nice despite the numbness of his skin. He could feel the slightest pressure, and it sent a thrill down his body with each touch. His own hand was parting Aoba's lips with steady fingers, touching the glistening pink muscle inside and feeling it welcome them with warm wet pokes.

Noiz carefully pulled them away to brush his lips softly against Aoba's, breathing him in. Warm and sweet with the scent of popcorn.

Aoba gave a small shiver, that hand growing insistent as it slipped into Noiz's hair and tugged him down.

There was no mistaking it; Aoba wanted this.  
Wanted him.

Noiz breathed out heavily as their lips pressed together, the space between them finally closed. Relief, insistence. It was good. Aoba was moaning just a little, but it was enough to give Noiz some confidence. He pressed his hips down into Aoba's, the beginnings of something there already drawing out a groan.

The quietness of the moments before were erased by something new, something more desperate.

Their kisses grew heated and clumsy, Aoba trying to return the favour by pushing his hips up as best he could into Noiz's half erection. The cloth between them only served to frustrate Aoba, so obvious in the increasingly desperate sounds he made. Clothes definitely needed to go.  
Noiz groaned and pulled away suddenly.

“Hey, n-” Aoba's hands clung to whatever they could find, and Noiz found himself staring down at the beautifully eager sight beneath him. Aoba’s hair was a mess around his blushing face, his lips glistening and parted. With each swallow his Adams apple bobbed and all Noiz wanted to do was lower his head and lick it. But he laughed softly instead, taking the hand that was tightly gripping his outer shirt and pulled it away.

“I need to take this off... Let me...”

Aoba let him go, but those hands became preoccupied with touching him as his shirts disappeared. Fingers brushed across scarred muscles and soft skin, down across his stomach to his naval... where it stopped and Aoba drew in a breath.

“...I found another one...”  
“Mmm... Just five more to go...”  
“Eh..?”

Noiz chuckled as he lowered himself back onto Aoba, burying his face in the man's throat to kiss him there.

“Well let's see...” He moved to reclaim Aoba's mouth once more, forcing his tongue inside and sighing happily when Aoba responded to him with fervour. They kissed deeply, tasting each other when Aoba suddenly pulled away.

“There! I never noticed...” Aoba murmured, pressing a kiss to the edge of his mouth.  
“Yeah, we didn't talk much back then...” Noiz had lowered his voice to a suggestive rumble, biting Aoba's neck before licking gently over it, pressing his piercing against hot skin, “Do you like it?”  
Aoba shuddered and pulled him back for another kiss, moaning a soft, “Yes...” into his mouth before desire completely took him over. 

Noiz felt a jolt go through him as Aoba's hands suddenly found his belt, tugging roughly at it in the little space left between them. It wasn't exactly working.

With a soft growl, Noiz rolled onto his side and pulled Aoba with him so they were lying next to each other. After that, it was a rush of pulling belts aside and jeans open whilst working so hard to keep their mouths connected. Noiz's hands had started to tremble with his excitement as he tried to pull Aoba's jeans off of his skinny hips, forgetting for just a moment...  
Aoba tensed suddenly.

He shifted away.

“N-no, wait.” 

Aoba grabbed at his hands when his jeans were halfway down, and Noiz frowned at him.

“What...?”

“...You... You can't look...” His body was flushed, chest heaving, and there was a very obvious bulge between his legs. He so clearly wanted this, but... Was he worrying about how he looked?  
Perhaps Aoba didn't want to disgust him, was perhaps afraid that he might scare Noiz away.

Noiz moved close, kissing into his neck and shaking his head.  
“It doesn't bother me Aoba...”  
“But...”  
“Seriously, don't think about it. If you want this... Just tell me if you don't because otherwise I'm not going to stop...”

Aoba made a tiny sound, almost a frustrated whine, still seeming unsure.  
“I... I do but...”  
“Just relax...” Noiz murmured into his ear, kissing across his jaw before pressing softly into Aoba's lips. It was comforting, momentarily devoid of the heat from before, “You know how incredible you look right now?”

The thumb of Noiz's left hand gently felt the dip between his stomach and hip as Aoba swallowed and shakily kissed him back. 

“...Good right?”  
“You have no idea... Ready?”

Aoba pulled away, chewing at his lip.  
He gently tugged at Noiz's hair before giving him a small nod, “Just... Get it over with...”

Noiz kissed him one last time, carefully drawing his jeans all the way off. His boxers remained, failing to hide his body's excitement as it strained against them. Noiz tossed the jeans somewhere behind himself, pulling away to look at him as he began stroking the inside of Aoba's thigh.

Aoba tried to take hold of that hand, the blush on his cheeks seeming to be more ashamed than anything else.

“Don't look at... Don't...”

Noiz sighed as he moved a hand to gently cup him. Another distraction, and Aoba breathed in sharply, that nervous hand moving instead to his shoulder and gripping it tightly.

“Stop that, Aoba. I don't care about it at all... I want you...” Kissing him deeply, his hand slid into the front of Aoba's boxers and took hold of him.

“Ah...” Aoba trembled, his hips jerking forward. Noiz took his time, stroking him firmly and all the while slowly escaping the confines of the rest of his own clothes.

“Noiz... Please...”

“Hm?”

Aoba was feeling across his bare chest, touching all he could as Noiz slowly pleasured him. His hands felt downwards, playing with his naval piercing for a long moment before following the soft trail of hair all the way down.  
Noiz breathed out through his nose as he watched a shaking hand brush across his cock, taking a hold of it and giving it a tug.

Aoba made a sound of surprise and stopped, feeling him carefully.

“You... No way...”  
Noiz snorted, “Believe it.”  
“How can you be pierced down here too...?”  
“How? I did them myself...” Noiz kissed him slowly, feeling Aoba's shock subside as he started stroking in time with Noiz's own ministrations.  
“Didn't it hurt...?”  
“Nope.”  
“B-but...”

Noiz smirked as he squeezed Aoba hard, drawing a soft cry from his throat.  
“Shh... Just imagine what it's going to feel like when you're riding me...”  
Aoba moaned and clawed down his chest, “Hurry up and let me then...”

Noiz felt a rush go through his body, dick twitching in Aoba's hand, “So impatient...” he growled, biting suddenly into Aoba's shoulder and forcing a sharp gasp from the man. Noiz pushed him onto his back, nudging Aoba's thighs apart with his knees. Aoba gasped once more and trembled, feeling Noiz run a hand down his stomach and across his cock.

“Stay here... I need to get stuff...”  
“Okay...”  
“Just keep your legs spread like that... It's fucking beautiful...”

Aoba made a pained noise in his throat as he covered his face, but obliged with Noiz's wishes.  
He was so exposed, so terribly hard and incredibly embarrassed. But he wasn't having any second thoughts. How long had it been since he'd had anyone like this?

...Well... The answer to that was easy. He felt a sadness well up in his chest, and buried that answer in the depths of his mind. 

He only wanted to think of Noiz. Noiz and his soft skin, Noiz and that burning heat when he pressed their bodies together, Noiz whose voice could make him come apart without even trying.

Aoba briefly wondered what tomorrow would bring as a draw across the room was slid open. What were they doing?

Although... Honestly he didn't even want to think about it. Since when had life always been about good choices? Who was to say this was a bad choice?

 

The bed dipped near him, and Aoba drew in a calming breath as his mind snapped back, anticipating what was to come.

He felt Noiz's weight shift the bed as he crawled back over, pressing his body down so that their dicks brushed. Aoba sighed absently and brought him back down for another kiss, their movements slow and calm. He didn't know what kind of lover he imagined Noiz to be like, but he hadn't expected him to be like this. Perhaps he was only taking it slow for Aoba's sake, not wanting to rush him. He supposed he appreciated that... But honestly he wanted something more than just a gentle fuck.

Noiz stroked along his sides, over his jutting hips, felt across his heated thighs. His hand wrapped around Aoba's dick for a few soft strokes before he pulled back again, teasingly.

“Noiz...” Aoba murmured in frustration.  
“Yeah, I'm getting to it.” He said back, amusement in his voice.

The crack of a bottle being pulled open made Aoba twitch, his thighs shifting a little further apart as a thrill ran through him. 

It was an intense moment for Aoba, waiting with his body bared so completely. He couldn't tell exactly where Noiz was, couldn't know what he was looking at or where his hands were. He was entirely at Noiz's mercy and nothing could excite him more. He jumped when warm hands pushed his thighs a little higher, a thumb stroking his skin. A second later, something cool pushed its way into him.

Noiz watched as his finger slid in to the second knuckle, feeling Aoba clench down around him with a soft moan. He was beginning to feel impatient, but restrained himself. As good as Aoba already felt, he couldn't rush this.

For Aoba, there was an odd relief to being touched like this, despite the discomfort. It had been so long after all, something he'd missed. He’d once come to depend upon such attention.  
Back when his life had been an empty, cold room and the constant darkness...

He shuddered against the thought, which Noiz mistook for a pleasurable tremor. The boy slowly pulled out and slid in a second finger. 

Aoba breathed out roughly, those dark thoughts gone from his mind as he felt himself being stretched, that pleasant ache spreading through his lower half.

Noiz began to pump his fingers in and out, curling and twisting them against slick muscle.

His eyes glazed over as he watched Aoba, gasping and beginning to thrust down onto him as best he could. His hips moved smoothly, his skin beginning to glisten in the soft light of the room. His lips had parted, inhaling short little breaths and gasping out pleasant sounds.

It didn't take long at all for those little sounds to grow into something far more desperate. One of Aoba's hand had trailed down his flexing stomach to grasp at his cock. He began to stroke it in time with Noiz's fingers, smoothing pre-cum down his shaft and occasionally squeezing it.

Noiz licked his lips at the sight of him. It was irresistible, and he couldn't stop himself from lowering his head to lick once at Aoba's slit, dragging the ball of his piercing across it.

Aoba made a sudden sound, jerking his hips down away from the contact, only to push further onto Noiz's probing fingers.  
Noiz groaned at the sight, seeing Aoba's mouth falling open as his one hand clung to the sheets around his head, like he might fall away from the world at any second.

 

Noiz chewed his lip with an intense look in his eyes, daring to try and push in a third finger.  
Aoba's face changed to reflect his discomfort as it slid inside, his hips slowing to a weak pulse as he adjusted. He accepted it easier than Noiz would have thought, especially when after a few twists and thrusts, Aoba was moaning again and working himself down onto them.

“Noiz... Enough, please. I...” He whimpered and drove himself down hard once more, his body trembling around Noiz's fingers.

Noiz's patience finally evaporated, his dick so incredibly hard whilst his eyes watched his fingers disappearing into the other for the last time.

He pulled them out with a wet sound, Aoba sighing in frustration.  
“Noiz, hurry...”  
“I am... Aoba... you’re so fucking hot…” Noiz muttered, tearing open a condom and placing it as calmly as he could over himself, smoothing over his dick with the lube.

“Shut up...”

“What?” Noiz laughed breathlessly, crouching over Aoba to press his hips down on his again, “It's true.”  
“Ugh.” Aoba smiled and pushed at his shoulder, “Noiz, you're all sticky...”  
“You love it...” He replied, amused, as he pulled back a little bit and took hold of himself, guiding his cock to press against Aoba's entrance, “Spread your legs for me Aoba...”

He did his best, taking hold of one of his thighs and pressing it to his stomach. Noiz held the other away, careful to stay away from the end, and started to push himself in.

Aoba was so slick that there was almost no resistance. The man made a choked sound and tried not to tense as Noiz inched forward past that tight ring of muscles.  
The whole time, Noiz was avidly watching Aoba's face. Seeing the twitch of his eyebrows, concentrating so hard as he felt each and every bump of Noiz's piercings slide and press into him even with the thin rubber in the way..

For a moment it was hard for him to breath, the pressure between his hips almost painful as he moved to hold the back of his hand over his mouth. Noiz pressed his forehead into Aoba's shoulder, barely feeling his warmth around him and the pressure. He pushed all the way in, burying himself to the hilt and it was all Aoba could do but arch into him, breathing harshly.

“Noiz... Fuck...”

He rumbled in his throat, the sight of Aoba and those words going straight to his dick. He pressed open mouthed kisses against Aoba's flushed skin... And pulled himself out so very slowly.  
Aoba clenched down, a hand reaching up to find blonde strands and burying itself there.

“Noiz.”

He pushed back in much harder, smiling into Aoba's neck as he cried out, his other hand clawing for something to hold onto.

“What do you want Aoba...?”

Aoba could feel his body grow warm with an unmistakable blush, “Ah...”

Noiz kissed his cheek, rotating his hips slowly and nothing more.

“Tell me what you want..”

“Noiz...”

A hard thrust and a sharp cry from Aoba.

“Ah! God...”

“Just say it, Aoba...” He licked at Aoba's ear, biting and tugging. Aoba was already so worked up, so frustrated and moving himself slowly around Noiz's girth. He managed to forget his embarrassment.

“M... More... Noiz... Please...” He pleaded, voice low.

Noiz groaned, rewarding Aoba with a harsh thrust. He began working at a quick, steady rhythm, Aoba unable to keep from crying and moaning throatily into the room. Noiz kissed up along his jaw, claiming his lips once again while Aoba barely had enough mind to kiss him back. Everything in him was focused on the almost painful force plunging in and out of him. Noiz pulled away to look down at Aoba, with his mouth open and head tilted back. His throat look so inviting, bared open to him just like the rest of Aoba's body.

He worried if he was hurting Aoba with the way he was beginning to slam into him. The sounds of skin on skin filled the room, and Noiz waited for Aoba to push him back, to tell him to stop.

But those words never came. Despite the way Aoba was almost shrieking with each collision and sounding as if it hurt, the pleasure in his voice was undeniable. He was thrusting just as hard against Noiz to try and keep up, occasionally pleading for more which Noiz didn't hesitate to give. He could feel the dig of Aoba's nails in his back, how they clawed down his skin leaving him wondering if they would leave marks. 

He doubted they would be anywhere near as obvious as the ones blooming across Aoba's neck.

He could feel himself getting close, and it wasn't often that a person could draw such desire out of Noiz. He couldn't feel much of anything, and even now he felt nothing past the wet warmth and slight tingling pressure of the other man as he plunged inside over and over. But just watching Aoba buck and twist beneath him as he hollowed him out again and again was enough to push him. It was impressive.

But even with all this, he still needed more.

“Aoba...” He breathed, kissing him on the shoulder as his movements slowed, “I want you to ride me...”  
Aoba moaned, seeming to claw at him harder with his desperation, “Wha-”  
He barely got half a word out before Noiz hadwrapped an arm around his back and suddenly rolled them both over, not once breaking their connection as he sat up and held Aoba to his chest. Aoba made a startled sound, holding on tightly to Noiz as he settled on his hips, his own twitching as Noiz only seemed to press deeper inside of him. 

“Oh god...”  
“Is it good Aoba...?”  
“Oh..” He started moving unevenly against Noiz, twisting and rolling his hips in earnest, “Yes... Yes...”

Noiz reached up to touch Aoba's face, pulling it in to kiss him roughly as he thrust upwards into him. Aoba was too distracted to do anything more than lick at his tongue and moan, his cock rubbing against Noiz's stomach and creating such maddening friction. Noiz broke away, breathing heavily as he pulled Aoba into the crook of his neck. Aoba struggled for a moment, finding the angle so awkward but Noiz held him.

“Aoba... Bite me...” He hissed. Aoba hesitated, his hips slowing as he heard the request, tasting his skin uncertainly. Noiz reached between them and took Aoba's dick in his hand, squeezing him tightly and not relenting, to the point where Aoba began to whine in protest.  
He was so painfully close, but the way Noiz was holding him he wouldn't be allowed to come.

“Aoba...” Noiz pleaded again. The older of the two felt the pressure between his thighs, how it almost hurt, it was hardly fair. With a frustrated growl, Aoba sank his teeth into Noiz's shoulder, hard enough to bruise. He hadn't even meant to bite that hard, and as he pulled back to whisper apologies into Noiz's ear, he was cut off but a harsh moan and a sharp tug to his dick.

Aoba was muffled as the hand on the back of his head pushed him back in, and this time he didn't hesitate to bite again, harder this time.  
Noiz let him go, that arm falling to hold him up as he bucked upwards into Aoba, panting hard. Aoba continued to mark his neck with harsh bites, and as Noiz pressed a thumb into his slit, he didn't realise how hard he'd bitten till the taste of blood filled his mouth. He pulled sharply away, shivering and grinding himself down onto the other.  
“N-Noiz... I...”  
“More, Aoba... Fuck!”

Aoba was given another hard thrust and a stroke of encouragement. He bit down as hard as he could.  
Noiz shuddered, the breath freezing in his lungs as the pressure finally built to the point of discomfort. It exploded out of him, forcing from him a weak cry. One hand took hold of Aoba's hip, holding the man down upon his cock and Aoba moaned, lapping at his wounds as he felt Noiz pulse inside of him. The younger fell backward onto the bed, his hand still tight around Aoba's as he started pumping him quickly, hearing Aoba choke out a cry above him as he tried to grind down against Noiz’s own slowly softening cock.

Aoba tensed up suddenly a second later, a sob forcing its way out as he came hard across Noiz's hand and stomach. He rode out his orgasm with jerking movements and pitiful gasps, eventually letting himself collapse onto his forearms. He came to rest down upon Noiz's chest, breathing heavily and listening to the heartbeat underneath him. A sweaty hand carefully stroked down his back, Noiz's eyes half closed as the world returned to normal.

They remained that way for a while, catching their breaths and enjoying the calm that followed.  
Aoba could feel exhaustion slip over him, and was vaguely aware of how the pain in his legs had faded. He hadn't taken his pills that night after all, and now he wondered if he'd even need them.

Eventually, Noiz shifted first, rolling Aoba gently off onto the sheets beside him.

Aoba didn't know what to say, suddenly.

He and Noiz… They just... Oh...

He felt Noiz kiss him lightly on the cheek, a hand slipping in between them to stroke through the wetness on his stomach before it disappeared again. There was a pause... And then the sound of quiet licking.

“Um...”  
“Bitter...”  
“Oi...” Aoba felt himself go red, his tiredness flitting away in a moment, “Did you just...”  
“What? I wanted to taste you...”  
“Noiz!”  
“What?”  
“It-it's weird...”  
“I don't think so.” There was amusement in his voice, “I'll go get some tissues.”

Before Aoba could say anything more, he was gone, the bed creaking with his departure.

The chill of the apartment closed in around him, once again apparent now that Noiz wasn't close to him. He shivered.  
A nervousness began to overtake him within the silence until the bed dipped again, and relief welling up in his chest when Noiz settled back down by his side.  
Noiz cleaned his stomach first, then used his thumb to brush away a little blood on Aoba's lip.

“So messy...” He murmured, kissing him gently.  
Aoba blushed a little and turned his head away, “I don't care...”  
Noiz laughed once, pulling Aoba back into his chest.  
They held each other in the quiet, Noiz's fingers stroking his hip.

“Should I go sleep in the lounge then?” Noiz asked.  
Aoba frowned, remembering what the plan had been before all of this. He worried his lip a little, one hand reaching up. He touched Noiz’s chin, and used it to find his cheek.

“No... Stay with me..?”  
“…Okay.” Noiz gave a small nod, “I want to be in the bed though, It's pretty cold out here.”  
“Ah, yeah...”

Aoba moved to get under the covers, though Noiz disappeared once more to retrieve his pillow from the lounge.

When he returned and shuffled under the covers, Noiz pulled Aoba close again, burying a kiss into his messy hair. It felt a little awkward, with neither of them knowing quite what to make of this. Now wasn't the time to talk however.

They were both exhausted from an already long night, this had been their limit.  
Aoba was fast asleep barely a minute after his head hit the pillow and Noiz certainly wasn't far behind.

 

– – – – – – 

 

Noiz wasn't entirely sure what had woken him that night.

He gazed up at the dark ceiling, only knowing that his heart ached and that he could feel determination was welling up inside himself. He looked over at Aoba, dead asleep and snoring very softly into his pillow. He looked pretty peaceful, even with his arms spread all over the place. 

As his eyes moved on downward, Noiz studied where skinny thighs gave way to empty space, and the ache only grew.

He sighed, slowly shuffling onto his elbows and turning to reach over the side of the bed for his pants. He moved carefully, not wanting to wake Aoba, and retrieved the small card from his pocket.

Taking his coil from the beside table, he tried to block the light with his body as he brought up a glowing screen... before remembering there was no need. He almost smiled at the force of habit, but the smile was a bitter one. Shaking his head tiredly, Noiz went on to imput the information from the card into his coil; the details of a bank account.

There were two amounts that Tae had been aiming for. Several thousand was what they needed for custom made prosthetic legs, useful just to help Aoba get around.

Or... A great deal more for fully functioning synthetic legs. Legs that were attached to the body and engineered to be as close to the real thing as possible. On top of that was an amount for the surgeries and after care, so even if they reached the second amount, the hospital bills alone would probably ruin any plans they had.

The way things were, Noiz doubted that they would ever get close to that second amount without a great deal of time passing by, and from what he and the others had seen, Aoba couldn't afford to wait the few years it might take for that to happen. Even Noiz could see that his mind was deteriorating the longer they waited, after finally reaching a point where he was moderately healthy. Those days when Tae would say to them Aoba needed time alone with his depression were becoming more and more frequent again, and Noiz doubted he had helped much by starting an argument. They simply couldn't allow Aoba to sink back into himself.

Noiz supposed they could just settle for the prosthetics, but he grimaced at the thought. He couldn't imagine that Aoba would turn his nose up at such an opportunity, but for Noiz it wasn't enough. 

If they were going to do anything like this, they might as well go the full mile and get the best that was available to Aoba. It was the least any of them could do.  
Certainly the least that _he_ could do, and Noiz would never go for anything less.

He looked over at Aoba once more, frowning to himself. He didn't know if tonight had changed anything between them, or if it had complicated matters. Noiz knew he wasn't bothered if Aoba had no feelings for him. If this night was literally a one off, then so be it. Aoba had needed to blow off steam and this was hardly the first one night stand Noiz had ever had.  
But if Aoba wanted more…

He didn’t know. Honestly… He hadn’t considered that outcome.

It didn't change the fact that Noiz had brought him here to distract from his reality. Noiz certainly had not planned for it to take the turn that it did, but still, it had been a distraction and a successful one at that. He didn’t regret it in the least.

At the end of it all, Aoba was a friend, and that was enough. For the first time in his life he had someone he was willing to go out of his way for. It was an odd feeling.

So Noiz turned back to the screen, bringing up his own account with a sigh. He had more than enough to give. And it wasn't as if he would be doing anything worthwhile with it.

Two button presses later, and the transfer was complete. He held his breath for a couple of seconds, just listening to Aoba breath behind him.

The man looked so peaceful, so oblivious. Aoba had probably imagined his future a thousand times in the past year, bound to a wheelchair and blind to the world for the rest of his days.  
That would no longer be his future, at least, not entirely.

Noiz gave a tiny smile, feeling nervous but... Happy, and as he placed his coil back onto the table he wondered what Tae would do the next time she checked that account. How would she react once she saw what Noiz had done? Of course she would have no idea it was Noiz, and he wasn't about to tell anyone.

This wasn't about him after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hearts literally beating a mile a minute I'm so nervous. I'm sorry if this sucks, I'm not great at sex scenes. I prefer to dive right into it when the clothes are already missing lol.
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy either way. Part 5 needs to be typed but yes that will take me a long while, I'm sorry.
> 
> We will get this ball rolling eventually but I know I need to stop making promises I can't keep lol...
> 
> Please please tell me what you think, and I promise that even if this seems rushed... obviously their relationship is important for the rest of the story so yeah :')
> 
> I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where do we go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry to all the people hoping I’d get on this before the New Year. 
> 
> This is a bit short I know, It's only half the length of the chapter I was originally gonna post, but I figured it would prevent people having their eyes fall out from reading an essay in one go. It isn't exactly a filler, but I realise there isn't too much to this chapter. It just means I can sleep if I wanted to get this out tonight. Once again sorry, and also once more if you find the form of this chapter kinda iffy. I still don’t have a beta, I know who I would love to beta my stories but we are only acquaintances and they are probably quite busy with their own. Oh well~
> 
> Let me know of any mistakes or discrepancies in the meantime.
> 
> I will continue writing the second half, and I only hope that I don’t disappoint anyone with where this is going. A lot of internal monologue, but I believe I’ve already said how I love getting into the heads of people. Bear with me everyone~ I love that people are interested and you all keep me going~
> 
> Anyways, enjoy

_He still won’t eat_

His face was mostly hidden in the dim light, standing before Noiz like a shadow. Koujaku, body slack and face drawn. He spoke softly to Noiz.

_He doesn’t… Doesn’t want to be here anymore…_

Noiz looked past the shadow, to the ghostly figure slumped in a wheelchair beneath the window. The world seemed to lurch and shift strangely, focused around the boy whose skin glowed white as an orchid and looked just as soft.

No.

They had passed this. Aoba was healthy now, happy… Ish.

Why was he back here? Why was he so thin? This was history.

...Or was this his future?

“Oi…” Noiz called, his voice oddly distant as he came to sit before Aoba upon an old wicker chair. The older man sighed a little, his breath rattling like wind through the trees. His body tilted, or rather slumped toward the moonlight streaming in through the window, as if it gave him some kind of warmth.

“I suppose it doesn't mean much but…”

He’d spoken these words before too…

“I found these at the market. I thought maybe you’d have one?”

He found a box of sweets in his left hand. Noiz placed them in Aoba’s lap, stepping back to look at the man with hopeful eyes.

Aoba jerked, facing Noiz as he tensed up.

“Aoba?”

The man’s face contorted in pain, sharp and sudden. He reached suddenly for his stumps, knocking the box of sweets from his lap. A choked gasp was dredged from his throat, thin fingers gripping his legs tightly.

Noiz felt his own breath leave him, eyes widening as Aoba seemed to change, growing thinner as his body doubled over. His movements grew jagged, desperate. Noiz could see blood now, seeping through the blankets on Aoba’s legs, through his ice white fingers as he cried out.  
“Aoba… Aoba, I’m sorry…”

The stricken man grew thinner still, wasting away and crumpling until he finally turned to dust where he sat, and all that remained was Noiz and the wheelchair in the empty black room.

 

Were these just his fears?

He no longer knew.

 

 

Noiz’s eyes snapped open suddenly.

He blinked a couple of times, lungs exhaling shakily.

Light was streaming in through the large window of the bedroom, soft and shallow as it touched the walls. Calming, though Noiz’s eyes did not leave the white of the ceiling for several long moments.

He found himself looking to the side. to where another shared his bed.  
Lightly snoring and curled around himself with his back facing Noiz, Aoba was obviously still deep in his dreams. Peaceful.

Noiz watched him for a few minutes, collecting himself as he felt his heart return to normal. After a quick rub of his eyes, the sleep cleared from them and he began to feel fully awake, finally.

He noted the position of the sun in the sky, still low but bright. Clearly he had awoken at an hour that didn't normally grace his usual morning.

He hardly cared. That nightmare was still vivid in his minds eye and full of emotions he had almost forgotten. A not so old memory warped by his fears for Aoba and for what had been done to him, and it was certainly not the first time he had dreamt about it. He wondered if the recent worry for Aoba’s mental well-being was the reason for it being dredged up once more, and it was all Noiz could do not to shudder.

He never wanted to see Aoba like that again.

Sighing heavily through his nose, he tensed suddenly as Aoba began to move. The boy rolled over slightly, his right arm flopping from his side onto the sheets and his head turning enough so that Noiz could see his not so pale face.

Aoba’s lips parted as he breathed in softly, settling back into that deeper sleep, and Noiz could feel the tiniest smirk tug at his face.

He wanted so badly to crawl over to the sleepy blue mess if only to wake him up with a sloppy kiss. But Noiz could sometimes be kind, and as it was his nightmare had instilled a slight reluctance in him to touch the other man. He needed that to pass first…

Instead, he rolled over with the intent of getting up, grabbing his coil from the table and checking the screen.

When he saw it was only 8:47 he felt his lips tug into a frown. He couldn't remember the last time he had been awake before 11 am. A strong coffee suddenly sounded like an amazing idea to Noiz, and he could imagine that Aoba would be needing one himself when he woke up.

Noiz could almost picture him freaking out in his mind's eye knowing that the man would be over thinking all that had happened the previous night at least until he and Noiz had a chance to talk about it.  
Last night had definitely left Noiz with some things to think about..

Whilst the kettle was set to boil, Noiz wandered back into the lounge to grab a couple of the uneaten snacks that had been left out the night before, passing by the wall mirror on the way.

He’d barely glanced toward it but what he saw had made him do a double take. 

Eyebrows raised he walked closer, staring at the mess that was his neck. It looked awful. Caked in dried blood and dark with circular bruises, he could barely see the wounds Aoba had left with his teeth.

Noiz grimaced faintly as he imagined how shitty it would be to get blood on any of his clothes. With a sigh he decided to go for a quick shower, something he probably needed anyway.  
Beneath the somewhat steaming jet of water, the previous night washed away in a swirl of soap and deep red.

He glanced at the temperature dial whilst he gave his hair a quick rinse, idly wondering what would happen if he turned the temperature all the way up.

It wasn’t something he was about to try, remembering back a few years to when he had scolded one side of his body before someone had realised what was happening. He couldn’t remember how it had felt, if he had felt anything. 

Still, it wasn’t something he particularly wanted to repeat either way.

Shutting off the water after a few moments, Noiz quickly dried himself off and thought to place a square bandage over his wounds, now oozing again from the harsh scrubbing.

 

Aoba had rolled over to face the doorway during his absence, a line of drool now visible as it made it’s way down onto the pillow.  
The fact of how dumb it looked actually made Noiz smile. 

He was still asleep and that was fine. It was officially past 9am now and Noiz liked the idea of waking him up to coffee.

He made two small cups and raised his own to his mouth for a sip, only remembered to wait when he felt the hot steam rolling across his tongue. He hated burning his tongue.

 

Back in the room once more, he placed the two cups down on his side table and crawled carefully back into bed.  
He was careful not to jostle Aoba at all as he crept closer, taking a moment to appreciate how relaxed the man looked, and then to frown at his ever pleasant blindfold.

Noiz felt a deep curiosity as to what Aoba was hiding beneath it, since it had never truly been made clear exactly what had been done to Aoba’s eyes. But on some level Noiz did have some respect.

He would never touch it.

Not unless Aoba, for whatever reason, said he could.

He moved to lay beside Aoba as all the thoughts of this slightly unusual morning filled his mind and pushed those of the dream back out. He only had eyes for Aoba now, lowering his head to kiss him, drool and all, his arms moving to take hold of the man and pulling him close.

Aoba jerked awake almost immediately, a panicked sound leaving his throat and a hand moving to clench against the man’s chest. A familiar chuckle filled his ears as Aoba felt the soft movement of lips against his own. He began to relax after a couple of tense seconds when his mind began to realise where he was.

“Good morning.” Those lips pulled away just a fraction to speak in a somewhat suggestive tone.

“Noiz…” Aoba breathed out a little heavier than intended, “ You scared me…”

“So you’re good and awake now, huh.”  
“Ugh…” Aoba reached up with his other hand to ruffle his hair, “What time is it?”  
“9 something…” Noiz murmured, bringing his face back down for another slow kiss.

Aoba tensed up again seeming at a loss of what to do. Noiz paused.

“...Are you okay?”  
“Uh… Y-yeah, sure…”  
“You seem nervous.” Noiz moved to bite at his neck and Aoba gasped breathily, relaxing into his arms. Apparently that was one thing Aoba simply could not resist.

“I… well yeah… I mean we… we....” He couldn’t concentrate any longer, not with Noiz doing as he was and eventually he pushed the younger away with a nervous laugh, “Just… Would you just…”

“What?” Noiz asked with a roll of his eyes, “I made you coffee by the way. But it’s kinda hot right now so I’m thinking that we should fuck again and then it’ll be nice and cool for us to drink…”

“You-” Aoba blindly reached upwards, delicately finding Noiz’s face so that he could push it away in a gentle shove, “Perverted brat!”  
“What?” Noiz laughed, pushing Aoba’s hand off of him, “I thought you enjoyed yourself last night.”  
“I…Shut up!”

Aoba covered his own face with his hands, hearing Noiz as he continued to chortle above him.  
He was completely mortified.

“Well? Didn’t you?” Noiz asked, voice low and seductive as he began to lick at Aoba’s collar bone. The older of the two seemed to lose his breath while Noiz gentle pulled his hands away from his face, feeling little resistance now. He kissed Aoba slowly, their tongues touching wonderfully and with that, Aoba seemed to settle down to the idea of Noiz having his way once more.

Noiz sighed into the kiss, enjoying the sudden quiet and the way Aoba seemed to push up into the hand that was sliding steadily down across his stomach with not a thing to stop it.

Aoba gasped into his mouth, his hands finding Noiz’s hair to hold him closer as his back arched.  
Noiz stroked his half hard dick teasingly, painfully so to the point where Aoba thought he was going to insane.

That kiss was growing deeper, messier by the second, all pants and gasps and lips briefly parted for only a moment before crashing back together.

Noiz’s hand had left Aoba’s cock and was sliding downwards to brush against his hole. It was dry of course, but that didn’t stop Aoba from trying to push down onto that one probing finger. Noiz growled low in his throat, biting softly at Aoba’s bottom lip to earn a heated gasp and another desperate kiss. 

As the first sparks of pleasure took over Aoba’s senses, one hand slipped down from Noiz’s hair to try and find what he wanted the most...

In a moment, those sparks turned sharply into panic when a coil crashed through the silence, bringing them both back to reality.

The pair jumped in shock as if cold water had been poured over the them. Aoba had all but frozen, until he realised the coil was his and he was all movement.

“Wha-Where…?”  
Noiz huffed in anger, lifting his body to quickly swipe the offending device from Aoba’s bed side table whilst Aoba himself still struggled to sit.  
“Here, Aoba.” Noiz sighed, dropping it into his lap and Aoba started to fumble with it.

He settled himself back against the headboard, clearly flustered, and Noiz wondered if Aoba was mourning what could have been just now as much as he was.  
He flopped onto his pillow, arms crossed and face frowning like that of a grumpy child.

“Ah, uhm… Hello?” Aoba stammered when he finally found the answer button, swallowing nervously. His voice was uncertain, and Noiz rolled his eyes when he remembered their conversation about custom ring tones that had never been followed up.

“Aoba. Sorry if I woke you.”  
“Grandma, it’s fine. Are you okay?”  
Tae hesitated for a short moment, long enough however to grab Noiz’s attention. Perhaps he could guess what this was about, but for Aoba that one second too long had him growing visibly agitated

“What’s wrong?”  
“Oh Aoba, there’s nothing wrong. You just need to come home… Soon as you can manage. Would Noiz be able to bring you now?”  
“I-I think so.”  
“Good. Then we will speak when you get back.”  
“Wait, Grandma, you’re worrying me.”  
“Aoba… I promise nothing is wrong. Something has come up that’s all… You need to get back so we can talk about it. I will see you soon.”  
“O-okay…”

Tae hung up and Aoba sat there quietly, coil held still near his lips.  
“What was that…?” He asked in a small voice.  
Noiz worried his lip and shrugged as he got up off the bed.

“She said there was nothing wrong.”  
“Yeah I know, but she sounded strange.”  
“...”

Noiz had heard the oddness in her voice too. Distraction perhaps.If it was honestly what he thought it to be, then he couldn’t truly blame her for coming across that way.  
“I’ll throw your clothes over, and we can get back there quick okay?

Aoba didn’t reply, he could only sit there and wait as he chewed on a nail nervously.

“You didn’t even get to have your coffee…” Noiz spoke in a low voice. He was pissed about the ruined moment, naturally, but more than that the idea of making something as simple as a coffee for Aoba had cheered him, and now Aoba wouldn’t even get the chance to enjoy it.

“Oh uhm, just pass it here once I’ve got something on. I’ll have a sip.” Aoba insisted absently as he pulled his top on.

Noiz waited, and once Aoba was dressed he carried the hot mug to where he sat on the other side and carefully guided Aoba’s fingers to the handle.

“Thanks.”

He waited as Aoba took a drink, oddly curious, “Is it okay?”

“Mm. Yeah, needs some sugar though.” Aoba murmured and made a face, before smiling gratefully, “Thank you anyway.”  
“Yeah. I’ll put it on the side and we’ll go.”

Sugar. He’d remember that for the next time.

If there even was a next time.

 

 

They made their way from the apartment into the street, breathing in the crisp air. Noiz looked up at the sun within its bright and clear sky, its light just managing to grace the earth here and there in amongst the tall buildings.

They passed those buildings by, back across the roads and as Noiz checked that Aoba’s blanket was secure around his waist, he began to realise just how empty the streets really were.

There were a couple of people out and about but these folks wore what he supposed was normal clothing, not what Ribsters and Rhymers like him often wore. He could only assume that the half of the population he recognised were currently recovering from hangovers or a rough night out.  
He’s honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the island before 1pm.

The air between Noiz and Aoba was just as quiet. The realisation of what had happened the night before as well as that morning and the lack of a chance to sit down and laugh about it over coffee was blatant. At least, it was where Aoba was concerned. 

Noiz didn’t particularly care, but Aoba clearly no longer knew what to say to him. It didn’t help that Noiz wasn’t particularly good with his own words either and so he kept silent, leaving Aoba to his thoughts.  
He could bet that Aoba was truly dying to talk, it was just annoying that neither knew where to begin.

 

Aoba was certainly deep in his mind at that moment; worried, uncertain, curious.

He couldn’t work out what any of it meant, if any of it meant anything.Were they something of a couple now? Had last night, and that morning had it not been interrupted, just been a one time thing?

He didn’t have a clue what had been going through Noiz’s head to make him do what he did, so how would Aoba even approach this now?

It didn’t help that at that moment his mind was also split over his grandmothers abrupt and rather worrying phone call. He wouldn’t be able to focus on their… Situation until after he found out exactly what was going on. If they could even get a moment alone which, considering the amount of care Aoba needed a lot of the time, was unlikely.  
Until they could have that moment alone, things would probably be awkward.

 

In the end, he didn’t know what Noiz wanted… He was certain that the moment had just been right, and that it probably still meant nothing to the younger of the two.

But then… He also remembered the kindness Noiz had shown him, his want to make him feel better about himself before their desires took over. The small things he had done for Aoba even before last night. Thinking about it all made his heart flutter, and deep down, Aoba sort of hoped that Noiz was at least a little interested in him and not just for the sex.

Noiz wasn’t a heartless person and he had proved that. Aoba had no reason to hate Noiz for what they had done, gods knew how badly he had needed to let off a little steam.

In the darkness of his mind, the part not distracted with worry and thoughts of getting home… Were thoughts of Noiz and how Aoba had felt in the thick of it all.  
How Noiz had felt against him, around him, inside him. His breath against Aoba’s neck, the heat and the sweat, the pure scent of Noiz that could alone cause him to blush with want.

He started to blush just thinking about it. No, he couldn't hate Noiz for any of it.

But now they, or at least Aoba, were left in the position of uncertainty. This morning Noiz had still shown interest in him. Even forgetting that point, It didn’t seem much like a one night stand when someone makes coffee. That had been nice.

 

Damn…

It was frustrating being stuck in the darkness on a normal day, but now?  
He just wanted to look back at Noiz, look at his expression and his eyes and just be able to find out all he needed to know. So much of language was conveyed through the body, meaning that Aoba was cut off from even the most obtuse of hints.  
Perhaps if he were able to touch Noiz then maybe it would be easier to “see” him and his feelings, but even then…

Touching Noiz was rather what had put them in this situation in the first place.

Aoba put his face in his hands, tired of his head going around in circles. He rubbed at it, making a sound of frustration and slightly dislodging his blindfold.

“Hey. Are you alright?” Noiz asked from above.  
“...” Aoba stopped, sitting back up slowly and sighing, “I’m… Stressed.”  
Noiz watched him, hearing the evasiveness in his voice.  
“Granny did drop quite a bombshell on you.”  
“Yeah…” Aoba hugged himself, slouching a little in his chair, “I really hope she’s okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future doesn't look quite so dark anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man I'm excited. I have a really good feeling about this one, and I think that is almost entirely in part to the wonderful Epiproctan who helped me make sure this was perfect. It really helped with the confidence too so thank you!
> 
> Please when you are done here, consider going over to their page and reading through their lovely works, they are honestly some of my favourites~
> 
> I hope this is a suitable resolution to the slight cliffhanger of the last chapter, and that it will be enough to tide you all over before I can get the next part written and sorted. University needs my attention for at least a little while, lol

They made it to Aoba’s house in just over a half hour.

Noiz studied the outside of the little old place as they approached. Coming closer, he couldn't help frowning once he realised that Koujaku was standing in the open doorway whilst he removed his shoes.

The older man looked up at the sound of wheels crunching over loose tarmac and, upon seeing Aoba, Koujaku smiled warmly and stepped out of the way so they could come through.

“Good morning, Aoba. It looks as if we are all here then.”

“All?” Aoba made a confused face. “Did Granny ask everyone round?”

“Yeah… I guess whatever this news happens to be it must be something big.”

“She sure did a great job scaring Aoba over this ‘big news’,” Noiz said, catching the slight narrowing of Koujaku’s eyes.

“I’m sure that wasn’t her intention. Whatever it is, I assume it must be good. She hasn't let on otherwise.” He looked back at Aoba and his expression warmed once more.

“On the other side of things, I hope Noiz treated you well, Aoba. I can’t say I wasn't worried about you.”

“What the hell did you think I was going to do to him, Koujack? We were fine.”

Koujaku bristled, arms crossing over his chest as his voice lowered. “I believe I was asking Aoba.”

“Noiz, both of you.” Aoba gave a weary sigh, running a hand through his hair. He could never understand it with the two of them. In general Noiz and Koujaku got along, even if their personalities prevented them from being entirely civil. They’d gained some new-found respect for each other since both had worked together to rescue Aoba.

But in the same breath, when it came to Aoba, their emotions seemed to get the best of them. He didn't know if it was protectiveness or what, but today was not a day he could cope with it. Yet it always came down to Aoba to keep the peace.

“Koujaku, last night was… It was fine.” It didn't help that Aoba’s mind was now thinking about him and Noiz again. He barely suppressed the blush that wanted so badly to touch his cheeks, “But whatever, right now I just really want to talk with Grandma…”

“She was just out in the garden on the coil, told me she’d be a few minutes.” A welcoming voice broke the tension as Mizuki appeared in the doorway, adorned with that pleasant smile of his and a certain white weasel around his neck.

“Mizuki, good morning.” Aoba said with some relief.

“Same to you. I hope you had fun at Noiz’s.”

He too had meant it innocently enough, but Aoba’s smile faltered and he barely nodded.

“Yeah… No I did. We uh… Played the Ukelele.”

Mizuki raised an eyebrow, noting the odd shift in his mood, but Koujaku was already speaking with amusement in his voice.

“A Ukelele?”

“Yeah. I had one lying around.” Noiz shrugged.

“I see…”

“Well anyway. You guys should come settle in the lounge so we’re not all standing around in the hall.” Mizuki suggested with a grin, his Allmate slipping off his shoulders and bounding off ahead of them as if to lead.

“If only Koujaku wasn’t in our way,” Noiz quipped.

Koujaku opened his mouth to bite back, but when he saw Aoba place one hand over his ‘eyes’ in exasperation, he clamped it shut again.

“Whatever …” He muttered angrily, waving a hand to dismiss himself from the situation a he moved off into the lounge. No one noticed the pleased little smirk that graced Noiz’s lips at that.

Once Aoba had pulled his way out of his chair and onto the sofa with a bit of help, the three boys all went to stand around the room in an uneasy silence to wait.

Before they knew, ten minutes had already passed with few words.

Aoba had pulled Ren out of his bag from sleep mode and was stroking him absently upon his lap. Mostly because It gave his hands something to do while his anxiousness couldn’t help but grow. Every now and again he would raise a hand to his lips, before forcing it back down again with a frown. He didn’t want Tae to scold him again for ruining his fingers, but it was a difficult habit to break now that he’d developed it.

It didn’t help that Aoba’s anxiousness had started to rub off on Koujaku across the room as well, with the older man keeping such a close eye on him.

He was honestly about as nervous as Aoba.

Noiz watched them both from his corner and couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Perhaps he was cheating in this scene just a little, considering the others had no idea what was going on. But honestly, Koujaku and Aoba were just perfect for each other.

At least on this dumb level.

Mizuki on the other hand was completely fine, neither nervous nor as tense as the others. He was playing around on his coil absently, looking up briefly across the room.

“Hiko.”

A second passed before the weasel reappeared from behind the sofa to climb up Mizuki’s leg, curling around his neck like a scarf once more and receiving a fond pat.

“What is grandma doing…?” Aoba asked suddenly, slightly muffled behind his chewed up fingers.

He had no restraint.

“Well, when she walked out with her coil it looked as if it was a serious conversation,” Mizuki replied absently as he looked up. He bit his lip once he’d said that, noticing the look on Koujaku’s face.

 _‘Don’t make it worse...’_ It said.

Oops.

“Do you think…” Aoba stopped briefly, his mind clearly working overtime, “Do you think she was lying when she said nothing was wrong?”

Koujaku looked at him uncertainly, arms crossed as he leant forward from the wall.  
“Aoba … I’m sure she’s fine. You need to calm down.”

“But what if she was just saying it to keep me from panicking? What if she’s actually sick? Oh god …” Aoba’s voice rose by a note, his hand covering his mouth. “What if she’s really sick and I’m stuck in my chair unable to do a thing?!”

“Aoba. That woman is a force of nature. She can’t simply be taken down like that.” Koujaku spoke insistently, before some doubt crept into his voice. “I would hope.”

“Guys, I think you need to breathe,” Mizuki insisted, giving a nervous laugh after a moment, seeing Ren turn in Aoba’s lap to try and comfort him, “You’re both letting your thoughts run wild, this really isn’t helping.”

“Yeah. Way to panic for probably no reason,” Noiz said.

Koujaku shot the boy a glare. Aoba straightened up as if he’d been insulted and turned towards his voice. “No reason?” His eyebrows had drawn together, the man too highly strung to let such a comment slide. “I get that _you_ have nothing to worry about, but that isn’t the same for the rest of us, Noiz.”

The youngest of the four narrowed his eyes at Aoba, irked.

“I don’t think it does you any favours assuming things about people. Especially when you don’t know all that much about them,” he replied coldly.

Aoba was quiet for a moment, as if a thought had just hit him, and he turned his head away just a little.

“...You’re right. I know almost nothing about you,” he murmured.

Noiz frowned, hearing implications behind those words.

Out the corner of his eye, he noticed the slight confusion between Koujaku and Mizuki as they shared a look.

Aoba was already about as transparent as air. The others probably knew now that something weird was going on. That something else perhaps had happened last night.

For a fraction of a second, Noiz wondered how fun it would be for Koujaku to find out that he had fucked Aoba before the other man had even thought of trying. The punch up after would be worth it for sure.

However in his gut he felt something unsettling grow. What had Aoba meant by that? Did he regret sleeping with Noiz? That seemed the obvious answer.

Perhaps Aoba was realising now that he had slept with a near enough stranger, despite Noiz having been around almost every day for the past year. He had always been in the background, a constant voice but rarely any closer than that.

Noiz did not get the chance to voice some vague kind of question at Aoba, and the others had no chance of asking what was going on. As he had opened his mouth to speak in reply, they heard the door at the back of the house open for a few seconds and then slide shut again.

Determined footsteps came toward the room and Aoba sat up a little straighter once more, his past worries already forgotten.

Tae’s expression as she walked in was unreadable, with her hands in their usual position behind her back.

“You’re all here then. Good. I’m sorry if I worried you with my abruptness earlier…” Tae spoke to the room, but in a way it was more directed towards Aoba than anyone else.

“It’s alright Grandma…” he replied, relaxing a little.

“Well, I can’t imagine disappearing off to talk on the coil couldn’t have helped with the suspense at all. I do promise that none of you should be worried about anything. This… This is good news... All of you. To the sofa where I can see you.”

The three standing boys all hesitated before moving to the chair, Aoba nestling in between them and the cushions as they tried to fit.

Noiz still felt the uncertainty from Aoba’s words, and he definitely did not know how this would go. Emotions were already running pretty high all around, so he took his seat upon the arm rest, keeping a little away from the others.

Tae stood in front of them, suddenly seeming lost as her eyes came to rest somewhere above Aoba’s head.

“You may or may not have known that I started a small fund for Aoba, to help raise some money to help with his condition… More to the point, it was to try and fund a pair of prosthetic legs for him eventually.”

Aoba held Ren a little tighter as his hand gripped the blanket on his legs.

“You… started a fund for me?”

“Of course I did, Aoba. I had to.” Tae’s face grew drawn. “You’ve been making yourself ill just being stuck in that chair each and every day. I had to do something. I managed to tell several people about the fund before today, and I even managed to raise a few thousand yen…”

“That’s wonderful, Tae-san… You should have told us sooner.” Koujaku spoke up, his voice passionate. “I will tell my team about this. All of us I’m sure would help out as much as we can.”

“And you know Dry Juice would only do the same,” Mizuki added, his voice strong.

Aoba gave a tiny laugh, one hand moving to cover his mouth once more as his body began to tremble. He truly did have the most incredible friends…

Tae couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. “I admire your resolve, both of you, more than I could ever say… But you need not worry about it, not this time…”

Mizuki frowned at that. “What do you mean?”

Noiz turned his head to look at Aoba, seeing him grow still at those words.

“Is something wrong…?” he asked quietly.

Tae sighed, a wobbly smile now forming as she shook her head. “Need I say it a third time, Aoba? Nothing is wrong. I know I’ve dragged this out, I am still trying to… You see… Someone has… Paid the full amount that we needed for your new legs… Aoba.”

Tae looked away from them, eyes shining just a little.

“Wh… What?” Koujaku gaped. “You… So, Aoba can get his prosthetics?”

Tae laughed once. “Better. Whoever gave us the money, they saw the amount that we would need for a set of synthetics. They gave us more than enough to pay for both them, the operations that would be needed and all of the aftercare… Aoba.”

She looked to him now, her voice strengthening once more despite the pure emotion upon her face.

“Yes Grandma...?” Aoba whispered, his voice somewhat distant.

“Aoba, if you’re happy, I have already confirmed with the surgeon that we may be ready to go forward. We only need to have a specialist see to you. After that… You will be getting your legs back.”

The room fell into silence as those words sunk in.

 

Noiz’s heart was beating hard as he looked toward the four of them. Mizuki’s expression was simply stunned, his eyes flickering to share a glance with Koujaku, before they both fell to look upon Aoba.

Noiz could not quite see Koujaku’s face from where he sat, but the man’s shoulders had gone slack in either shock or disbelief, he wasn’t sure.

They were all just watching the blue haired man between them, waiting to see what he might say. He was still just sitting there with a soft frown upon his face, his hand frozen before his parted lips.

“...”

“Aoba…?” Koujaku breathed, touching his back softly.

The blind man was silent. Until the trembling began once more.

“I…”

He hesitated again, confusion seeming to flit across his features.

“What…?”

Tae sighed out a gentle laugh, and she walked forward. She reached down to take his thin fingers into her warm hands, speaking patiently.

“You’re getting your legs back, Aoba. In a year you might even be walking properly again. This is all I’ve dreamed of since you came home, all I’ve hoped that you might be able to live your life again as you wanted.” She stroked his hand as a sound escaped Aoba’s throat.

“This is so much for you to take in so suddenly, I’m sorry to have dropped it on you like this.”

Aoba moved to grip her hands in both of his own as he bowed himself slowly. He brought them to his face, hiding it whilst his shoulders tensed.

A sob wrenched itself from his frail body, and in a moment Tae’s face had contorted in sadness.

All of the things that had happened that morning, all of the worry, the stress, the shock… The relief. It all came crashing down upon Aoba without warning. He could not help but crumple beneath it.

Koujaku wrapped an arm around his shoulders, face tight, barely restraining the tears in his eyes.

Mizuki’s own were fixed on the ceiling, staring until they slowly closed. It was as if he were praying, thanking whatever force out there had allowed this gift to be.

His allmate, Hiko, stretched across the distance between Mizuki and Aoba to press her cool nose to his cheek, her eyes sad.

 

“Aoba…” Tae whispered, settling herself upon the floor in front of her grandson, “I’m so sorry that I could not give you this news sooner.”

Even as he watched from the sidelines, feeling very much like an outsider to this tender scene, Noiz’s heart was no more spared than anyone else’s.

It was especially when Aoba shook his head with a small choke and pulled Tae close, burying his face into her shoulder, that his heart truly began to ache.

The old woman struggled to keep herself composed as she held him tight, and failed completely when a fragile, “Thank you… Thank you, so much...” passed Aoba’s lips.

 

How could this even be possible?

Aoba’s mind had almost shut down just trying to work that out as Tae had spoken to him. This couldn’t possibly be happening… There must have been a mistake? Aoba had accepted that he would be wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. Or rather… He had not accepted, but merely passed each day without dwelling too heavily on how pointless he felt his life was at that point.

But now, he was getting his legs back.

He…

Aoba took a deep breath, trying to control his body as it continued to shake, but this failed for a few long minutes. He was at the mercy of his own heart whilst Tae, Mizuki and Koujaku tried to comfort him.

Eventually he got a hold of himself, unable to help the slight hiccups as he tried to speak.

“Grandma… Y-You said I would be… I would be getting s-synthetics…?” he managed to ask.

Tae got up slowly and maneuvered round onto the sofa between Aoba and Koujaku, never letting go of her grandsons hands.

“I did. Do you know what that means for you?”

“I… I’m not sure…”

Tae rubbed the back of his hands and began to explain what was so special about the legs. Koujaku’s face had lit up as she’d gone along, cutting in about one of his team mates who’d had a synthetic leg fitted himself. How quickly he’d gotten back upon his feet.

The conversation quickly had Aoba fascinated, his tears drying as he hugged poor Ren even closer to his chest, with a small sniffle here and there.

Noiz stayed as long as he could. He listened, and he felt a lightness in his heart just seeing Aoba grow so animated as he finally began to realise how much everything would be changing for him.

Noiz had never truly experienced moments such as these in his life. The heartache and the excitement, it was such a foreign thing to him, and so when he saw his chance to escape, he did so as quietly as possible.

He’d honestly not expected for them to react like this. Noiz had expected happiness and perhaps confusion over who had donated. Maybe some sappy tears and hugs, that was normal he supposed.

He had not expected Aoba to completely break down in his grandmother's arms. Had never thought he would ever see Tae so vulnerable, and if anything that had spooked him even more.

Reaching the kitchen, Noiz thought that perhaps he should at least get Aoba a drink; the fool was probably going to dehydrate himself from all the crying that was still sure to come.

That drink ended up being for him however as his own nerves seemed to grow without pause.

 

“...You know what we should do?” he heard Mizuki ask. “We should take a road trip to the Mainland once you’re able to walk, Aoba.”

“A roadtrip?” Aoba laughed, “Honestly, Mizuki, I think I’d be too busy making up for all the times I’ve missed carrying Grandma’s bags from the shop before I can do anything else.”

A few glad laughs, and then Tae insisting that she would give Aoba at least two weeks once he’d healed before she would start making him do chores again.

It was a nice moment, and even Noiz found himself smiling at that.

Tae continued to speak, her medical background clearly coming into play here. She told them how the surgeons would be using Aoba’s own cells to cultivate new muscle and skin within the legs themselves once they had been attached. Explaining how similar the titanium foot and ankle structure was compared to its complex and organic counterpart. She noted how realistic they looked and behaved even before the new muscle and skin had been grown around them.

It was at this point that Aoba grew squeamish.

“This is beginning to sound kinda gross…” the bluenette muttered.

Prosthetics were a great aspiration for any amputee, with all of the technology that now existed for them to work in so many situations.

However, they would not be a part of Aoba, and he would still need to remove them to do anything such as showering or going to sleep. Being blind, that would not entirely help Aoba’s ability to care for himself. They were a solution to a problem, and a good one at that…

However synthetics… They were a cure.

Noiz remembered how he had felt when he had compared those two options the previous night. He would go for nothing less than the best if it were him. That, and if Noiz were in Aoba’s situation, prosthetics would simply not be enough.

The lower part of the leg bone would always be metal, but Noiz knew that the legs supported nerve growth throughout the entire system with an appropriate blood supply.

One day, if everything went to plan, Aoba could potentially feel everything down to the tips of his toes once more. Heat, pressure, pain. It would all work.

“It is an interesting process, I will be asking the specialist a few questions about it once we see him,” Tae mused. “Such as how blood is circulated throughout the limbs. I suppose that would take time considering how long is needed for someone to regenerate such an amount of blood.”

“Please stop talking about blood.”

Koujaku laughed at that, Mizuki smiling himself at the sour look on Aoba’s face.

“This is mad,” Koujaku spoke in awe once Tae had finished. “I feel like we need to celebrate or something.”

“Absolutely,” Tae said. “I was thinking about inviting Haga and Yoshie-san around at some point this week. I’m sure they’d simply love to see you Aoba.”

“Ah, yeah. I wouldn’t mind getting to talk to them again.” Aoba nodded. “I… Don’t remember the last time we actually had a good conversation…”

Tae sighed a little. “They have been around, but you were not all that talkative when they were. It doesn’t matter, Aoba. We can remedy that now at least, can’t we?”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

 

Noiz sighed out a little as the conversation grew a little quieter, almost too quiet for him to hear. He plopped himself down in one of the dining chairs, sitting with his back towards the lounge.

It was wonderful to imagine Aoba as he would be in a few months’ time, once all the operations had been done and once his legs had fully healed.

What would Aoba do once he realised that he could move around freely without the constant, invasive attention of his family?

He knew from what he had experienced last night that Aoba only craved his independence.

Each and every day without it only made the man more bitter toward his life and his inabilities.

Thinking about that, Noiz piqued his ears toward the tell tale sounds in the living room. 

Now that Aoba understood exactly what was going on, it had finally hit the man as to what it all meant. He could finally have his independence and…

Yeah, he was crying again.

 

With a smile, Noiz fell into his thoughts once more. How tall would Aoba be? Would they get the length of his legs right? They were custom made, after all, to fit in every other way, so surely they would get that correct…

Of course, Aoba would still be blind in the end. But his would be better for him, and for everyone.

Apparently Noiz had done an incredible thing without even realising. He started to wonder just how oblivious to shit he really was when he kept missing the importance of things such as this.

“Noiz.”

“Oi!” He half jumped, almost falling out of the chair as he turned his head to look at the door. Noiz hadn’t even noticed the old woman as she’d come to stand behind him. Her eyes were sharp with scrutiny, and the blonde began to wonder if he’d done something wrong. “Jeez Granny, you scared me…”

Tae smiled mischievously. “I apologise. I just came to see where you had gone off to.”

“Ah… Yeah. I was getting Aoba a drink…” he replied lamely. The pair of them looked at the half drunk glass of water in his hand, and if Noiz had any feeling in his flesh he may have felt the blush rising on his cheeks.

“Yes… Well. I was about to do the same…  
And then I found myself wondering. How could it be possible for such an amount of money to appear for Aoba’s cause in just one day. Especially when I had only made several people aware of it before hand.”

Noiz continued to stare down into the water, shrugging cautiously. “I guess… People can surprise you.”

“Yes, they can…” Tae gave a quiet sigh as she rounded the table, reaching for one of the cupboards to get a fresh glass down. “Aoba is… so important.” She held the glass in her hands, her eyes distant as she spoke. “He’s more precious to me than anything I could ever know or possess. It almost killed me each and every day knowing that for the one person who gives life a meaning and a purpose, I could not do a thing. No more than I already have done, and that is simply not enough.”

She turned towards the sink and filled the glass, before placing it on the table and moving to sit in front of Noiz with a wince at her pained knees.

“To whoever it was that found it in their hearts to give so much, I can't even begin to express my gratitude. I wonder if he perhaps even realised how much hope he would be giving by doing this, and not just for Aoba. I’ve not seen him smile like that in a long time. The other two are besides themselves entirely, as I’m sure you could hear, and so… So am I. I keep praying that this isn’t some kind of awful trick.”

Noiz frowned deeply. He didn’t even know what he could possibly say to all that. If anything, his helplessness only seemed to grow, so he said the only thing he knew he could.

“It isn’t.”

Tae looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

Noiz’s eyes remained averted, fixed somewhere off to her right. He realised at this point that there was no use in lying to her. The woman was sharper than he had even given her credit for, but he wasn’t about to outright admit anything.

Despite the fact that Tae already seemed to be aware that he was the mystery donor… She was still respecting his privacy over the matter. It was kind of her.

“No one would be cruel enough to take back such a gift.” he added, “I wouldn’t worry yourself, Granny.”

“If that’s the case… Then I will try not to.”

It was quiet for a moment, and Noiz flinched as Tae’s chair scraped against the floor. He barely looked up in time before a pair of arms had wrapped around his shoulders, surprisingly strong and comforting. His eyes went wide in shock, and his posture echoed that of a restrained cat. He had no idea how to respond.

It was brief either way, and Tae was already looking off toward the lounge once her arms had left him.

Noiz coughed. “…This is the most amount of times I’ve ever seen you hug anyone,” Noiz muttered, embarrassed.

“It’s just been one of those days.”

She was quiet for a breath, before wondering aloud. “Why would anyone give such a gift and then not wish to be recognised for it.”

Noiz reached for his water, taking a small sip as his face expressed more emotion than he could surely swallow.

“Perhaps… Knowing who had done it would make Aoba feel obligated to them. Like he needed to pay them back in some way. At this point… Aoba could probably do with just focusing on himself and what's been given to him.”

That was perhaps the most mature statement Noiz had ever said.

“I see. Yet more kindness on their behalf. Rather than embarrassment.”

“Uh… Y-yeah.”

There was a bit of that too.

“Hmph.” Tae seemed satisfied by his words and moved back into the doorway. “I should get back to Aoba. That boy has exhausted himself with all that crying. Perhaps you should actually bring him that drink when you’re done here.”

Noiz looked up at the filled glass waiting exactly where Tae had left it.

“Sure...”

“After that, the rest of you can go out and fetch the ingredients for an early lunch. We can celebrate a little now before the others come round within the week.”

 

Once Noiz had allowed himself time to breath and calm a little, he rejoined the group.  
Koujaku and Mizuki were chatting and laughing together, and barely looked up as he handed over the water almost shyly into Aoba’s grateful hands. It was then that Tae seemed to waste no time herding the three healthy boys out of the house to get started on their errand.

There was no bickering, and spirits were so high that even when Koujaku made a quip about his disappearance, Noiz only found himself smirking back in good nature. It was such a wonderful feeling. So wonderful in fact, that Noiz almost felt awful once more for the fact that he had not been the one to consider new legs for Aoba in the first place. 

But that hardly mattered now.

\----

“Is there anything I can get for you, Aoba?”

“No, I’m alright..” Aoba stretched out a little against the armrest. “Grandma, when can I go see the specialist?”

Tae settled down on the edge of the chair, fussing a little over Aoba’s blanket to make sure he was comfortable.

“The earliest he said he could do was next week. I will call and tell him you are ready, if you’d like.”

Aoba nodded, unable to keep the smile from forcing its way onto his lips.

“Please. I don’t want to wait.”

“Alright, Aoba. I’ll call while you get some rest, just until the boys get back.”

Aoba wanted to argue, but honestly he was feeling somewhat exhausted after everything that had happened that day. It wasn’t even noon yet.

“Yeah okay... Are you alright?”

Tae looked down at him with a slight frown, taking just a moment longer to reply. In the now quiet of the house, she worried her emotions might once again get the best of her.

“Worry about your own self, Aoba, I’ll be fine.”

His hand searched for hers and she took it, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll be back soon, Aoba.”

She got up, smiling as Aoba nodded and let go. He moved to curl up against the cushions with a deep breath, with Ren resting against his side. 

Tae left the room somewhat quickly after that, so that Aoba could sleep, and so that she could hide herself away for just a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading~ Please kudos if you liked it. It keeps me warm in this room of mine that likes to freeze my hands off c':


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so so much to Epiproctan, who was the beta on this and the next chapter :D  
> Is that how you say it? lol  
> I've honestly gone over part 7 and 8 a hundred times just to make sure it's all ok, I'm sick of it now so let's just get it out xD Enjoy!

“Aoba?”

“Oh, uh, yeah?”

“Heh, you were miles away.”

Koujaku laughed softly at Aoba as he took one of his hands, seeing him freeze when a cool glass was pressed against his palm.

“Tae-san made us some iced tea. I asked if you wanted some. You’ve been so spacey today.”

Aoba sighed, blushing with embarrassment as he smiled.

Just today? Try the past few days, more like.

“Sorry… My head is full, Koujaku. There’s so much to think about and it’s not exactly long until I see the specialist now. I think I’m a little worried about seeing everyone today too…”

“Don’t say sorry, Aoba, I understand. Try not to worry too much.” The older man insisted calmly.

Aoba smiled a little more as the sofa beside him dipped downwards, Koujaku coming to sit on his right side. He settled himself a little further back into the cushions, sighing out with some contentment as he took a sip of the drink. He was nervous but… Everything seemed so good today.

Ren sat up a little from where he had been curled beside Aoba, moving up onto his blanket-covered lap.

“There are approximately five days until Aoba is required to see the specialist.” The pom said in his rich voice, “Since I have not mentioned it today, now seems an appropriate time.”

Mizuki snorted, “You said it yesterday too. Aoba. Have you set Ren to keep track of the days?”

“Uh… N-no.”

“Ah.” Ren sat more upright, “I was told to repeat this at a varied time each day. Perhaps Aoba forgot to make this notification private.”

“Is that so?” Koujaku grinned toward the reddening Aoba.

“Look. I’m excited. I like being reminded and it’s not as if I can even remember what day it is half the time.”

“It is Friday today, Aoba.” The pom replied calmly.

He placed a hand over his face.

“Uhuh, thanks Ren.” 

“It’s not even the operation yet. I can’t imagine much will be happening in five days.” Mizuki said.

“Whatever. It’s an important day for me.” Aoba grumbled back.

“I wasn’t saying it wouldn’t be.” Mizuki placed his glass down on the other side of the coffee table, “I guess it’s good to be reminded. You know, something about today just feels so great. Honestly Koujaku, I don’t think I’ve see you stop smiling since we found out about all this.”

Koujaku laughed once more, “Oh? Well, it does feel different. Good news has a habit of doing that to the atmosphere, you know.”

“Absolutely.”

Aoba took another drink of his iced tea, thoughtful while stroking at the soft fur of his once again traitorous Allmate.

“It’s kinda beginning to sink in… But I also still can’t believe it.”

“No?” Mizuki asked.

“No.” Aoba sighed in reply, “I honestly thought that… This would be it for me. Suddenly being told after what felt like forever that you won’t be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life… Yeah, I think I’m still being cautiously optimistic about it all. I’m waiting for the promise of new legs to fall through.”

“Aoba, don’t even think that way. Someone has given you this incredible gift, and Tae even said there was no chance that this would be taken back by whoever did it. Apparently that person gave their word.”

Aoba tilted his head a little as he frowned, “She spoke to them?”

“Oh, well…” Koujaku’s eyebrows creased slightly, “I believe they sent her a message in regards to the money. They were anonymous, however.”

“Oh.” Aoba did feel a little comforted by that, if not a little more confused as well, “I still don’t understand why anyone would give me something like this… I’ve never exactly put myself out there for anyone.”

“Aoba… You tried to stop Toue. You did that for the whole of Midorijima.”

Aoba’s shoulders tensed minutely, “Hardly anyone knew about that. If it weren’t for you or Noiz then we wouldn’t even be here.”

Koujaku’s face grew sombre as he looked at his oldest friend.

“You make it sound as if you don’t think you deserve your legs back.” 

For a moment, Aoba didn’t say a word. His fingers gripped the glass in his hands tightly.

“I feel… As if I’ve hurt more people than I’ve helped. I don’t know if I do deserve this.”

“Aoba…”

The air seemed to shift in the room and Aoba raised his head, feeling a presence behind him.

“It’s a waste of a gift if all you do is feel sorry for yourself.”

Aoba turned a little toward the voice, a slight blush rising on his cheeks.

“Noiz…”

“Hm, I was beginning to wonder when you would turn up.” Koujaku said with irritation.

“Missed me, was it?”

“Tch, rather I had hoped we’d have some peace for one day.”

Noiz smirked at him, “You’d be so lucky. Why would I waste a day when I could spend it annoying you?” He fixed Koujaku with a cocky stare, placing himself on the arm of the sofa, right next to Aoba. 

Despite his lack of ability to see him, Aoba was suddenly so hyperaware of Noiz being so close that he found it hard to calm himself.

“You little brat.” 

“Hm.” The room is complete.” Mizuki said in a happy tone, almost wistful. Noiz smirked, seeing how Koujaku’s jaw had set, the warning in his eyes.

“But whatever,” Noiz continued, “I had some business with my gang and it held me up.”

His attention then fell upon Aoba.

He saw how tense the other man was, how his hand was paused on Ren’s back, the glass of iced tea pressed to pale pink lips.

They still hadn’t talked.

At first Noiz hadn’t cared. At least, he hadn’t realised what’d changed between them. Aoba acted so awkward around him now, it had seemingly fallen upon Noiz’s shoulders to drag along their short conversations whenever he was around. Talking had always been Aoba’s thing.  
It appeared today would be no different.

“And how is Aoba doing today?” He asked in a patronising tone.

Nailed it.

The boy barely opened his mouth before Koujaku was jumping to his supposed rescue.

“I’m sure he was perfectly fine until you walked in.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I think I’d rather hear it from him, old man.” Noiz bit back, petulant.

“I’m fine. Honestly. Kinda excited and freaking out at the same time.” Aoba cut in before Koujaku could say another word.

Noiz hummed a little, “I guess entirely new legs is something to freak out about.” 

“Heh, yeah you’d think…”

“So what’s that you’ve got there?” Mizuki asked, nodding toward Noiz’s side.

Koujaku’s eyes hadn’t left Noiz for those few moments, but his curiosity was piqued when he too noticed the small white box held under the boy’s left arm, delicately sealed with flower-printed tape.

“What, this?” Noiz looked down at the box, his face taking on an unreadable expression, before looking back at Aoba, “I got Aoba something.”

“Huh?” Aoba barely had a chance to react before said thing was dropped beside his leg, making him jump slightly, “Oh, what…”

He reached down to find a small box, moving it into his lap as Ren gave way. He opened it slowly, oblivious to both Koujaku and Mizuki as they moved a little closer to see. 

Noiz could barely help rolling his eyes at the pair, “It’s just sweets. Don’t get too excited.”

“Sweets?” Aoba opened it carefully and reached inside with one hand. When he felt what was there, he paused for a long moment, eyebrows raising.

He withdrew the hand and raised it to his lips, fingers covered now in a fine dust, and gave them a small lick.

He knew that taste and texture, and it filled him with a strange mixture of nostalgia and guilt. The nostalgia brought a sad smile to his lips, the guilt almost clearing the haze of not-so-distant memories.

The memories would never be entirely clear, but he’d never forget that taste.

“Warabimochi. Why…?”

“...The sweet stall was in the market today.”

Aoba went back into the box, pulling out one of the small, cubed sweets to take a bite. He paused for a long moment to take it in. 

“Thank you, Noiz...”

“It’s whatever.”

Aoba felt strange. The sweets meant something to both himself and Noiz. They took him back to a time that had been terrible for those he cared about; when he had first returned home from the hospital after his entire ordeal. Aoba barely remembered that time, so deep in psychosis that it was perhaps best he didn’t. That taste, however, flagged up from back then in particular, just as green tea and the scent of seaweed baths did.

Noiz had been a constant back then, surprisingly. Tae had told him so, not a couple of months ago. It had been so easy for Aoba to miss him, considering how quiet the man often was, and with how the former had lacked contact with anything outside of himself. Noiz had cared about Aoba as much as anyone else had, and perhaps had been affected just as badly. Aoba could only guess that… Something had brought Noiz’s mind to that time, and by extension, to these simple sweets.

So… What exactly was Noiz thinking…?

He was here and so very close, and yet there was no hope that he would be able to get him alone without literally asking for the others to leave. Koujaku would put up a fuss for certain, and even if he left, who knew who could be listening in.

It was too much hassle to deal with… Although waiting for the right moment was seeming to be equally frustrating.

Noiz didn’t appear to be trying to get Aoba alone, never turning up before anyone else and scarcely staying long enough for everyone to leave.

Aoba was almost certain that the man just wasn’t bothered about what had happened between them. 

He wouldn’t go so far as to say that Noiz wasn’t bothered about him. The sweets were a clear indication that Noiz was thinking of him and feeling _something_.

Gods, he didn’t know anymore…

“Aoba… Is everything alright?” 

Koujaku’s voice brought him back from his thoughts, sounding a little put out.

“Huh? Oh, no, um… I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

He hated how transparent he was. He guessed it had been obvious in that moment that he had been thinking too hard. Koujaku, as always, was particularly attentive. Aoba really needed to train himself in the art of keeping a straight face.

Maybe if they ever damn well talked he’d ask Noiz for lessons.

“Hmm… Do you smell that?” Mizuki made a dreamy sound, and Aoba paused to sniff.

They could hear faint sounds in the kitchen, and yes, there was indeed the scent of something wonderful drifting into the lounge. 

“What’s Granny making?” Aoba asked, mouth watering suddenly. He shoved a second sweet into his mouth.

“Not sure.”

They heard footsteps, and Tae came into the view of the doorway.

“Tae-san.” Koujaku said, smiling at her, “Something smells amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so. That is dinner cooking for when the others arrive. If one of you wouldn’t mind, I would appreciate some help setting the table. There will be three extra seats for Haga-san, Yoshie-san and one of my old colleagues.”

“It’s gonna be pretty cosy around that table.” Mizuki said as he stood, “Tae-san, would you be in any need of some sake or some other drinks for everyone?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I believe tonight should be more or less alcohol-free. We hardly need anyone getting drunk, and I wouldn’t want Aoba to feel left out.”

“I wouldn’t care, Grandma…”

Noiz looked at him oddly, “You can’t drink?”

Aoba shook his head a little, “No, it mixes badly with my pain medication.”

“Does it now? It would be impressive if you could get any drunker than you used to.” Mizuki said with a laugh, a cheeky smile spreading on his face.

“Oi, I wasn’t that bad.”

“I beg to differ.” Koujaku chuckled.

“You guys are awful.”

The two gang leaders enjoyed a short laugh at Aoba’s expense, seeing Tae sigh in a knowing way. 

Aoba had, in fact, been so bad back when he could go to the bar that he had become something of a legend in the Black Needle. If he wasn’t carried out on someone’s shoulder at the very least then it was something of a surprise. The silly stories Mizuki told, however, stretched back to Aoba’s rougher years, which was perhaps the reason why Aoba sometimes denied it.

Noiz quirked a smile as he stood once more, seeing Aoba react to his disappearance from beside him.

“I should be off then.”

“Huh?” Koujaku looked at him, confused.

“Wait, what?” Aoba sat up a little straighter “You only just got here...”

“Yeah.” Noiz shifted awkwardly, “I really only came to drop that box off. I don’t really know these other people…”

“Oh…” Aoba couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, “Well, they’re good people. You really should get a chance to meet them.”

“Nah. I was gonna go play Rhyme or something. I might see you later, Aoba.”

The last part was spoken a little softer, almost apologetic. Though Aoba could have only imagined it.

“It’s a shame you can’t stay.” Mizuki said, “You’ll be missing out on all that food.”

Noiz did appear noticeably conflicted at the mention, “Stop trying to make me feel bad.”

“Well… If you wanted, I’m sure we could ask Grandma to save you some dinner…?” Aoba asked in a quiet voice.

Koujaku snorted, “If we leave anything. That is Tae’s food you’re talking about.”

Noiz hesitated, glancing at Koujaku.

“I won’t cry over it if you can’t. I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure then.” Aoba smiled in what he hoped was Noiz’s direction, though he was certain some of his more melancholic feelings were peeking through.

Noiz studied him for a long moment, feeling as if he should brave the three strangers for Aoba’s sake. He found it odd that Aoba’s face had fallen when he’d said he was leaving.

He just couldn’t bring himself to face those people however. Socialising wasn’t something he was comfortable with. It could probably be seen as a miracle that he even put up with Koujaku and Mizuki in the first place.

“See you, Aoba.” 

Nothing more was said as he slipped out of the house once more, leaving the room in an odd silence.

Mizuki looked over at Aoba with a frown.

“You okay Aoba? You look put out.” 

“Huh? Oh... Well yeah. The more the merrier you know?”

“Yeah, ok.” Koujaku grinned at that, “I’m don’t think merry is the right word to use with Noiz.”

Aoba gave an irritated sigh, “You know I get you two aren’t best friends or whatever but I wish you would just get along around me.”

“I would if he weren’t such a brat.”

“Hm.”

Mizuki shook his head and moved toward the kitchen.

“Come on guys, we’d better hurry and get ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait~ I'm not the fastest writer. I try to make up for this by getting two entire chapters done instead of just the one. If nothing much happens in the former part then I just feel guilty making people wait all over again ;v; I will be moving house again in the coming week so I can't say how my writing will be slowed but I will say that there is already a lot down on paper~ Do not worry my lovelys :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by Epiproctan~  
> I should put in some chapter summaries later when my brain isn't fried, lol

“Ohhhh Aoba-chan!”

“Good afternoon, Yoshie-san.”

Aoba smiled, wide and genuine, as he was enveloped in a warm and near-crushing hug from the older woman.

“You’re looking so much better than when I last saw you!” As she pulled away, her voice seemed to catch on the last word, growing a little quieter, fonder, “I’m so happy for you…”

“Yeah…” Aoba didn’t really know what to say to her. 

“I brought you all cake! I should leave it on the side for afters.” Her voice wavered but she seemed to recover herself. It was probably a saving grace, as Aoba couldn't imagine how anyone would respond if she were to break down in the hallway. 

“Thank you Yoshie-san, how kind of you.” Tae said, smiling at her as they both began toward the kitchen.

He’d been sat off to the side of the entryway, with Koujaku standing diligently at his one side and Ren on the other whilst they greeted everyone.

Mizuki was busy in the kitchen serving up the lunch, and in honesty Tae couldn’t have timed the food more perfectly with everyone turning up.

It was quiet for a moment before he felt Koujaku shift beside him, and Aoba heard the scuff of shoes as they were toed off in the entryway.

“Aoba, good afternoon.”

“Oh.” Aoba didn’t recognise the voice, but bowed his head even so, “Hello, thank you for coming.”

“Ah, Saito, you made it after all.” Tae said from the kitchen doorway.

“Saito…?” Aoba asked softly.

“Aoba, Koujaku. This is Saito. We used to work together, and have managed to keep in touch since the days back then. I asked if he would celebrate with us today.”

“Well, hello again Saito-san, nice to meet you.” He gave another quick nod, and Koujaku said a quiet hello by his side.

“Just Saito is fine. You have a lovely house, Tae.”

Aoba listened as Tae led him too toward the kitchen, smiling as she seemingly saw through his compliment, “Don’t lie, I saw that look of yours when you saw the hallway.”

“Just one more.” Koujaku said by his side, placing a hand gently on his shoulder, “Then we can finally eat.”

“Good, my stomach has been making weird noises for an hour now.” Aoba said with a grin.

Koujaku chuckled, the sound quieting as another set of footsteps made their way into the house.

“Aoba-kun.”

Aoba raised himself a little, a small jolt going through him.

“Haga-san…”

The older man smiled pleasantly at the pair of them, reaching down to take Aoba’s hand in a careful shake. Aoba smiled up at him, trying to put some strength into his grip. 

“Tae-san was so excited to tell me the news.” Haga said as he stepped back once more. Aoba could hear the solemn note to his voice, the sound making his heart ache. The last time the man had seen him, Aoba had barely known he was even there.

“I’m excited for you too, Aoba. How are you feeling?”

Aoba nodded with a small, reassuring grin.

“I’m feeling pretty great right now. Really. It’s so good to meet up with you and Yoshie-san again. I know you’ve both been concerned, Grandma tells me that you call sometimes. You really shouldn’t worry.”

“Aoba,” Koujaku sighed, voice kind, “You say that but of course everyone will worry.”

“I admit we have been. But things are certainly looking up now.” Haga replied, lightening the conversation.

“Haga-san.” Tae returned for the final time, nodding to the man in the doorway, “You arrived at the perfect time. Food is served and we can all go and sit. Why don’t you come through?”

As the pair moved toward the kitchen Koujaku took hold of Aoba’s chair whilst Ren jumped into his lap, and turned to follow.

It was at that point in time that Aoba finally felt his nerves. The room beyond was all voices and laughter as everyone got reacquainted and began chatting. 

“Are you alright, Aoba?” Koujaku asked as he paused in pushing him, close by so no one would hear.

“Uhm… Yeah. I’ll be fine. There’s just a lot of noise now.” Aoba felt a little sheepish. He was with friends, he should hardly have been getting nervous.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself. I almost wish I’d invited Kou and some of the others. Though that would have been too many. They all miss you, you know.” 

“Yeah? I miss them too.” Aoba sighed, fidgeting a little, before perking up with an idea, “But you know, once I’ve got my legs maybe we can go and see them all.”

Koujaku laughed, but the tone was cautious, “One thing at a time, Aoba. Getting you to walk down the street will be one thing. Taking you across town after you’ve barely healed is another entirely.

Aoba huffed irritably.

“You all keep making such a big deal about afterwards. It’s not going to be that bad…”

“Aoba.” Koujaku held the amusement from his voice in an attempt to sound serious, “I think you are underestimating just what you will be getting yourself into. The work that you will need to put in for this to be a success is not something to dismiss. Even I’m not entirely sure how much work it will be but my friend had many hard days to get through after his operation, and he was much like you.”

Aoba half pouted, leaning back in his chair.

“Well, I’ll make sure I heal up as quickly as I can. I don’t have time to be sitting around anymore.”

“Haha, that’s the spirit. But I’m honestly afraid you’ll just end up hurting yourself.”

“Whatever.”

Koujaku sighed and looked toward the kitchen, “Let’s just get to our seats and think about it later…”

 

 

The clank of a plate brought Aoba’s drifting mind back as it was placed before him, and he barely remembered to say a quiet, “Thanks,” in return.

“Tae-san.” Yoshie began, her voice confused, “I don’t appear to have any chopsticks.”

“That was intentional. All of the food I have prepared can be eaten with your fingers. No need to be shy, have fun and dig in.”

“Oh.” Aoba felt immense relief fill his heart suddenly. It would have been a lie to say he hadn’t worried about embarrassing himself at the dinner table, as the only one eating with their hands, or worse, being helped by the person next to him.

His grandmother acted as if this was simply her plan for the night to make dinner interesting, but everyone knew it was mostly to make sure Aoba was comfortable.

“It all smells wonderful, Tae-san,” Haga said from his right.

“Thank you Haga-san. I hope it tastes just as nice.” Tae replied with that guarded but proud tone of hers. 

Thanks was said around the table, and the conversations calmed as everyone started to eat.

There was the scrape of a chair as Mizuki finally sat down, and Aoba hummed happily at the delicious taste of a fresh, warm rice ball.

“Ah! I wondered when you would join us!” Yoshie’s playful and somewhat suggestive voice rang out across the table.

Mizuki laughed, sounding slightly uncomfortable, “Ah, Yoshie-san… You wanted to talk to me about something?”

“You’re the sweet young man who runs the bar in town aren’t you?”

“Uhm.”

“That he is.” Koujaku replied, sending Mizuki a big smile, “Perhaps you should visit there one time, Yoshie-san.”

“Oh I plan to!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Mizuki managed a weak smile, “But you know that Koujaku runs the hair salon here and there, don’t you?”

“Does he now!?” Yoshi rounded on Koujaku, giving him a sweet smile, “I haven’t had my hair done in a while. I could do with a trim at the very least.”

“Ah, y-yes I can sort something out, I’m sure.” Koujaku laughed in that sheepish way of his.

Aoba snorted suddenly, and the conversation seemed to pause. He quickly turned the snort into sharp coughs. 

“Aoba, are you alright?” Tae asked, real concern in her voice.

“Here, let me help you!” Koujaku stood quickly from his chair and away from a shocked-looking Yoshie, rounding the table to give Aoba a good hit on the back.

“Mmmff!” Aoba waved him off quickly, “No, It’s fine Koujaku, really. Thanks...” he forced out in a strained voice.

“Ah, crisis averted.” Koujaku laughed, looking back at his seat and how Yoshie was still leaning toward it expectantly. He sighed internally, and returned to his fate.

It didn’t help how badly Mizuki was trying not to laugh. They both knew Aoba hadn’t been choking.

Aoba put some more rice in his mouth, hiding his smile.

Everyone knew how excitable Yoshie could be sometimes. She didn’t realise how overbearing she often was, but then again, he guessed that was why they loved her.

“So, Aoba.”

He perked up toward the sound of Haga’s voice and turned his head toward him. 

All around them, the others had descended back into more comfortable conversation, Yoshie gushing at Koujaku about what hairstyle she should have next, and if Koujaku would be willing to dye it for her.

It was nice, but Aoba could already hear the seriousness in Haga’s tone.

“You really do seem so much better. Miles so from when I last saw you. Are you really feeling well?”

His voice was kind and Aoba gave a small nod.

“I’m not bad. Some things are the same but… No, I’m better”

Since his imprisonment in Oval Tower and the subsequent rescue, Haga had only really seen him a few times. On those days when Granny needed something, when she was short of people to help with the house and Aoba. Otherwise Haga mostly stayed away. He’d rarely come to visit Aoba on his own… Since that had often been a pointless exercise. 

It was only the last time that Haga had been around that Aoba had in fact been in a coherent and responsive state.

That was perhaps seven months ago, when his depressive episodes had begun tapering off into something more bearable.

Even so, they had hardly spoken. All Aoba could remember was the terribly sad tone of Haga’s voice as he’d addressed Aoba back then. Had commented that he looked better, much as he had this time… Except this time he’d probably meant it.

He wondered how Haga felt seeing him now; his skin a shade warmer than pale, his mind just a bit sharper.

Of course he wouldn’t tell Haga that he had been slipping back a little into the dark, and his grandmother wouldn’t either. It was too nice to hear the relief in a person’s voice when they thought they were witnessing a turning point, the cresting of a tall and difficult hill.

He supposed Haga was. Aoba was suddenly looking into his future with something akin to wonder and definite hope. The world would always be black for him, from days already gone until his last, but perhaps it would no longer be so small, so empty.

“You know… I think I was as scared as Tae-san when you ran off to Platinum Jail. When you didn’t come home… There were a lot of people looking for you. And then they found you like that... “ Haga stopped, his voice growing soft, “Sorry, Aoba… If it’s perfectly alright, I would like to speak my mind a little, now that you’ll hear me.”

Aoba frowned just a little. 

He didn't like thinking about the couple of days after his rescue; those were clear in his head like fire, the sounds and the smells, the emotions.

He’d been prepared for this conversation, from the moment Haga had walked in and had first begun to speak. The man deserved closure as much as anyone here. Who was he to not give it?

“I don’t mind, Haga-san. Say what you need to.”

“Good, thank you, Aoba…” The older man sighed, bowing his head a little, “It wasn't all that long ago really, but I guess it feels like a lifetime now. They were the darkest days I think I've experienced… I felt as though there was nothing I could do for you or Tae-san and I still feel as if I have something I need to do to make up to you, Aoba.”

“Haga-san, what are you saying?” Aoba shook his head, frown deepening, “You don’t owe me a thing.”

“Well, I feel that I should do all I can to get you back on your… Well, I feel as though I should do more to help you progress.”

“I appreciate that.” Aoba managed a smile. He could tell that perhaps this was in fact heading toward an idea Haga had, “It sounds as though you might already have something on your mind?”

“Ah, well… Yes and no, it depends on how it sounds to you. It’s only if you wanted more excuses to walk and occupy your time once you have your legs back. If you feel up to it… You know the shop really hasn't been the same since you left. Even the triplets say so…”

“...Haga-san?”

“Aoba… You’re absolutely welcome to come back to Heibon if you wished. Your old position is there if ever the want strikes you.”

Aoba’s mouth fell open, “What? You… You’re offering me my old job back?”

“Only if you want it. Once you’re healed and well. It’s only my perspective, so I apologise if I’m wrong. I find the times when I am most happy are when my mind is occupied and I’m able to work on something. That is, when I’m at the shop and my attention is focused. I feel as if it gives me a bit of purpose, and when a person has nothing to do, it’s just no good for them.  
I can’t imagine if it is the same for you, Aoba, but I do know that staying home as long as you have, the chance to do something different can’t be such a bad thing.”

Aoba couldn’t help but nod a few times, one hand braced against the table. There was very suddenly a lump in his throat.

“Haga-san… I took so many things for granted back when I was… When I had everything. I’ve thought about things I used to do and about my old job sometimes, just wishing I could have something normal from my old life back. If you really mean that… If you’re truly offering…”

“Absolutely, I’m sure I could find you something to do, a small task to begin with.”

“I could always man the phones again. I always made good sales there.”

“I guess that would be perfect. I’d only expect as much time as you would be comfortable with in the beginning, and with plenty of breaks. I could move the phone to the back as well so the kids won’t bother you…”

“They still terrorise the place then?”

“Ahh… I wouldn’t say terrorise…” Haga laughed, “They’re so lively, sometimes it’s a lot to handle… And you know, they ask about you sometimes.”

“They do?”

“Yes of course. I haven’t had the heart to tell them about what happened…” Haga sighed, scratching the back of his head a little.

“Oh…” Aoba worried his lip just slightly, “They should know. Otherwise it’s gonna be a shock to them if they see me like this.”

“I’ll figure out how to break it to them.”

“So, what’s being talked about over there then?” Tae asked them from across the table. Aoba had been quite animated speaking to Haga, which she supposed was a given since they hadn’t spoken in so long. Even so, it was unusual for him to get so excited.

“Ah, yeah.” Aoba grinned in her direction, “Grandma, Haga-san just told me that once my legs are healed, maybe I could take my old job back. Isn’t that great?”

Tae hesitated, noting how Koujaku looked up at that with curiosity, before she gave Haga an uncertain look.

“Well, if it’s alright of course.” Haga added, seeing the look on her face, “I’m sure it would be good for Aoba to get out and about once things have improved.”

“Perhaps.” Tae looked briefly to her old colleague with whom she had been chatting quietly, “We will see at least. Aoba will have a lot of healing to do yet once he’s had his operations. It may be quite a while until that can even happen.”

“Of course.” Haga smiled, “He has lots of things to look forward to.”

“I do, especially now. Thank you, Haga-san.”

“I don’t mind at all, Aoba. The shop will wait as long as you need till you are better.”

Tae was still frowning slightly. In her mind a job seemed like the last thing Aoba should have been concerned with. The expression on her face couldn't have been very subtle, as after watching the short back-and-forth, Koujaku raised his hand a little.

“If it is such a concern, Tae-san, when the time comes I can always tailor my hours to Aoba’s. I can walk him to and from Heibon before and after my own work days.”

“What a great idea.” Haga intoned, placing his hands together.

Aoba huffed slightly, “I’m sure I could find my own way.” he muttered.

“Across town?” Tae more or less snapped, “I would not allow you to, even with Ren.”

Aoba raised himself up as best he could, “I’m sure I’d be able to if I were given the chance.”

“Aoba, I’ve already said that you will have a lot of healing to do. You will want someone walking with you if you are going outside, and so far! God forbid if anyone saw you as an easy target. This town doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being safe.”

Aoba frowned, turning his head away slightly.

“Exactly how bad is this going to be?” He asked finally, feeling slight apprehension. Tae had really been pushing that point home. 

“That is what the consultation is for. They will tell you more than I can, but from what I’ve 

“I never said I would be bounding…” Aoba frowned and settled back in his chair. The consultation wasn’t for days yet. It was frustrating, and now Tae had successfully made him worried on top of it all.

“I’m sure it will be fine, Aoba. This isn’t something that can happen straight away, just see Heibon as something to aim for and you will get there.”

“I suppose.” Aoba sighed, “I really appreciate that you are even offering me the opportunity…” he paused, feeling such warm emotions in his chest despite his grandmother being, in his opinion, overly cautious, “You know I’m really glad all of you could come today, I don’t think I said it before.”

He truly was glad. It was nice to speak to people that he hadn’t seen in a long, long while, and it was also great to just have a little more to think about. Something to keep his mind off of what was, or rather wasn’t, happening in the current days.

“Any chance to see you, Aoba! We’ve all missed you.” Yoshie half-gushed.

“I’m glad I could just see you looking so well, Aoba.” Haga added.

 

 

The evening was calm and quiet after everyone had gone home. When Aoba hadn’t found himself caught in lively conversation, he had been wolfing down more than he usually did at dinner. A full stomach, coupled with his bubbling excitement and sudden energy at the dinner table, and Aoba was crashing not long after the front door closed behind Yoshie.

He suddenly felt exhausted.

“Now you can just relax while we tidy, then I’ll be back to help set up the bed.” Koujaku said, before yawning himself.

Aoba didn’t even protest, just sighing as he shifted deeper into the sofa cushions and made himself comfortable.

His wheelchair was folded and propped beside the sofa before Koujaku disappeared back into the hall. That was when the sound of his steps stopped dead.

“Yo.”

Aoba frowned and raised his head slightly.

‘What…?’

“The hell are you doing here, brat? Dinner’s over.”

“I wanted to see Aoba.”

There was a pause, and Koujaku’s voice grew a little softer, less grumpy.

“He’s tired. You’d do best to come back tomorrow.”

“I’ll just say goodnight then. Since I’m here.”

Koujaku hesitated once more, before he sighed, “Fine. I’ll be in once I’m done with the dishes…”

He could be heard moving off again, while Noiz shuffled around in front of the door.

Why was he here so late? Usually when Noiz left for the day, that was that, until the next.

His soft, padding footsteps came into the room, rounded the sofa, and stopped there.

Aoba raised his head toward his presence, a soft frown on his face.

“What are you doing here so late?”

He heard the shifting of clothes, and could only assume the younger man was shrugging.

“How were the sweets?”

Aoba raised an eyebrow, moving a hand to rub at one leg absently.

“They were good… Why was it that you got them for me?”

Noiz was quiet for a long moment, long enough to tell Aoba that the action had in fact meant something.

As he’d thought.

The sofa shifted beside Aoba while the boy came to sit down. It made him all the more curious.

“I had a dream about you that night.”

Aoba felt the slightest blush rise on his cheeks.  
The night they were together?

“What kind of dream…?” He asked, cautious.

“...”

“...Noiz?”

“The bad kind.”

Aoba clenched his jaw a little as he realised what was meant by that, everything neatly falling into place. He didn’t remember the first time Noiz had given him warabimochi, not very well. The scent and the taste were enough to stir uncomfortable emotions within him, but also happy ones. At one point in time, Aoba knew they were one of the only things he would eat. Eventually, that had led on to him eating food that would actually keep him alive. His saving grace, he supposed.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it…” Noiz continued, voice soft, “You were just sitting there and... Dreams always make the memories worse.”

Aoba didn’t know how to respond. He reached out toward Noiz, his fingers brushing against what he could only suppose was the blonde’s arm.

“It’s alright…” He murmured, “I’m better now… I won’t ever be like that again.”

Noiz exhaled beside him, as if he were cleansing his body of those bad thoughts.

“Yeah…”

There was a loud clink from the kitchen, and Aoba jerked just a little at the sudden sound.

As he pulled his hand back, warmth suddenly enclosed around it, and he didn’t know what to do. Noiz’s hand was surprisingly soft, holding him firmly but gently even so.

“We should have that talk.”

That statement was a surprise to Aoba’s ears.

He swallowed a little as he heard the faucet in the kitchen stop running.

“I don’t think we have the time.”

Noiz looked from Aoba’s delicate hand, to his lightly blushing cheeks. 

Time was definitely something they needed. He just wasn’t good at this stuff, explaining himself and what he wanted. He so rarely knew what that was... 

His mind was a complete jumble in honesty, days of confused thoughts piling on top of each other. At first he had brushed them aside, simply ignoring them… But they had continued to bother him. Pleasant feelings and negative emotions. Bad memories. 

A person could only shut such things inside of himself for so long.

He liked Aoba, and he liked making him smile but… Aoba was no longer smiling. At least, he hadn’t smiled at him genuinely, not since that night. He missed the expressions that Aoba had made for him when they had been together, when they’d been sitting together and just having fun. He wanted to experience that again. It was odd how such a want had all but crept up on him; Noiz so rarely felt anything about anyone but Aoba was quickly becoming the exception.

He’d been foolish to shy away from it all. Aoba had wanted to express himself on day one, but he had been too ignorant at first, and then determined to just leave it. 

Today… Noiz knew he should have stayed. They were in limbo, and even he knew something had to give.

He couldn’t even tell Aoba what he’d done for him to be able to get his legs, as much as he wanted to. That was a selfish desire on his part, and at the very least he realised that it would do Aoba no good to know it. 

So instead... He just wanted to be close. If he couldn’t tell Aoba a thing about what he’d done, he at least wanted to be there to see what would come of it.

He heard himself speaking before he’d even realised it, but his heart beat in affirmation that he needed this, finally, as much as Aoba did.

“Tomorrow.”

He saw Aoba’s eyebrows pull together, before settling. His hand seemed to sit more comfortably within his own.

“Tomorrow.” He agreed.

Noiz slowly let go of his hand, watching it return to Aoba’s lap. He looked a little confused, most likely at Noiz’s sudden change of heart. Lost even. 

Noiz couldn’t stand that he wasn’t smiling…

Aoba felt the sofa shift once more, thinking for a moment that Noiz was moving to stand.

But then he felt the man’s breath on his cheek, a warm hand nudging his chin.

Aoba’s own hitched in his throat, and he couldn’t even respond as soft lips pressed to his. Warm and delicate. A contrast Aoba couldn’t even comprehend in the moment.

He sighed, his hands moving to cling at the front of Noiz’s shirt. 

It was nice, Aoba decided. Sweeter than the last time they had kissed… But much more fleeting.  
Their lips moved in harmony for such a short time, until that warmth was gone once more. 

The hand holding his chin moved to brush his cheek affectionately, until it too was gone.

“Try to meet me in the garden. I’ll make sure I’m early or something.”

“O-oh… Okay…”

Noiz smiled as Aoba stuttered, slowly getting up from the chair.

One last look at Aoba, with one hand touching his lips in an apparent daze, and Noiz turned to leave once more.

 

“Oi brat. Should we just get you a cat flap fitted?”

“Shut it, old man.”

Aoba covered his face as everything that’d just happened sank in, and he groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the wait was worth it for you guys ;v; Hopefully they'll bang again soon but you know how it is, lol  
> The next bit I'm kinda really looking forward to. Expect more terrible emotions and fluff.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We cannot forget the past, lest we forget truly how far we've come.

They often lost themselves in the past. A place so deep and dark, like a vast shadow trying to consume them. They were haunted by it, and though it had grown easier and ignore and to smile while the times were good, it was always there. Quiet, creeping.

They were all connected, despite how distant Koujaku and Noiz were to each other. Within that past, if the topic of Aoba’s recovery arose, then the pettiness between them would wane if just for a while. It was after his recovery, once Aoba had grown well and was himself again, that the need for civility had passed for the two. 

Mizuki had been spared the experience of Aoba’s early days back home after platinum jail since he had remained in his coma for months yet to come. From what he had been told of it however he was quietly thankful for that.

The three would each see Aoba in the dark before they fell asleep, in the quiet moments when there was nothing else to distract them. They would see him as he had been; incomplete, empty.

Koujaku for one could never shake those raw emotions that still bubbled up in his chest every time he looked at Aoba. 

To say that his heart had never quite healed was an understatement.

 

 

Late August 20XX: 

 

One month home.

 

The smell of freshly made food drifted throughout the house as Koujaku made his way around the kitchen, placing a large bowl of rice and a plate of chicken down upon the old wood table.  
It looked good, but there wasn't much to their lunch today. 

No one felt particularly hungry, hadn’t for the entire month that had passed them by. 

Koujaku sighed and looked up, one hand in the chopstick draw as Tae came into the room. 

She pushed Aoba along, slumped in his wheelchair, toward the top end of the table. She gave a nod to the other man as she passed.

"Thank you, Koujaku. I’m sorry I couldn’t make lunch myself today." 

"I’m happy to do it for you, Tae-San." He replied. There was a faint smile on his lips, but little warmth to his voice. Just a quiet hopelessness.

Tae carefully positioned the boy next to the table, the surface a little high compared to Aoba as he sat. 

She went to move away but something made her pause, a moment drifting by before her old hands went to adjust the soft blanket wrapped around Aoba's shoulders. She smoothed over them, going still when Aoba breathed out and gripped the blanket with one thin hand. 

Tae looked as if she wanted nothing more than to hold Aoba. But when he made no further move to acknowledge her, when he continued to sit there silently, she let her hands fall away. 

It seemed as if Aoba barely knew she was there. 

He would sometimes respond to their voices, to their cautious touches.  
But aside from those few and far between moments he remained mostly catatonic. Lost deep in his own mind.

During his stay in the hospital, the doctors had grown concerned enough to run tests on Aoba to try and gauge his mental ability. For a while they had been considering brain damage as a possible cause for his unresponsiveness, but when the results came back they found him in that respect to be perfectly healthy. So too were his vocal cords, despite his seeming inability to speak. 

Aside from his missing eyes and legs, Aoba had been fine, if just a little thin. 

They had suggested that perhaps it was emotional trauma, considering it very likely in fact that he was suffering some form of PTSD resulting from his ordeal.

There had been evidence of a slowing down in his mental abilities, but this could be put down to his apparent lack of contact with anyone or anything whilst being kept within the white cell Koujaku and Noiz had described. After his legs had been removed, and with no sight, it was easy to assume that Aoba could do little more than remain for hours on end in one place. 

Eventually, he was taken to a few psychiatrists to be assessed. After a time they had concluded that he was suffering from a very severe form of depression brought on by his traumatic experiences. The man had no will to do anything. 

Aoba's depression was something so crushing, that his entire body would move with the effort of his lungs as they suddenly draw in deep. He hardly had the will left to breath. 

Everyone had hoped, the doctors and Aoba's friends and family both, that bringing him home to a warm and familiar place might help him. That perhaps the scents and sounds of his place of safety and his family might bring him out of his shell. 

But most of all... They had prayed that he might start eating again. 

For the entire month and a half that he had spent recovering at Midorijima Hospital, he hadn't accepted any kind of solid food. 

He would refuse and grow agitated when people tried to feed him. It had been the only time when he would actually come back to the real world; to struggle against those trying to help him. The situation had grown somewhat desperate. 

After a couple of days the hospital had resorted to feeding him through an IV line, right up until two days ago when Tae and Koujaku had finally been asked to take him home. They had done all they'd been able to for Aoba in that month. His wounds were clean and healing, but his mind was something they simply could not fix. 

It was up to Tae and the others to try now. 

Just in case the situation didn't improve they had been given a kit with an IV pack for fluids and some tubes, something to fall back on considering Tae’s training as a nurse.

With the second day drawing to a close and no luck, it was beginning to look more and more likely that they would need to use it.

 

Tae sat down beside Aoba, taking a small bowl in hand and scooping a lump of fresh rice into it. With her chopsticks she pulled off a few grains and raised it towards Aoba's lips. 

"Open your mouth, Aoba."

Her voice was tired, strained. 

Koujaku paused with his own chopsticks raised halfway to his mouth, his mind without a hope but unwilling to miss the moment should Aoba finally accept. 

Tae waited. 

The moments stretched on, till finally, her own hopes trickled into nothing. The only response she received was the slightest turn of Aoba's head away from her and a deep sigh.

Aoba wasn't interested at all. 

Her hand lowered slowly, her face a mask of sombre resignation as she studied her grandson. She wasn't willing to force him tonight. Not when she had gone so far as to grasp his chin the night before just so he would face her. With what little strength he'd had, Aoba had grabbed her wrist with a sound so pitiful it had broken her heart. She couldn't force him to do anything he did not want to do. 

Not even now, when he was so weak that he could not possibly even fight with the old woman if she tried again. Tae had realised how cruel it would be to make Aoba eat even for his own health, not after all that had been forced upon him already. 

As much as she prayed that her only grandson would not starve himself to death in front of her, Tae would not lower herself to the level of those that had held Aoba in Oval Tower against his will. She would be no better than the scientists there, no better than the robot that had mutilated and violated him. 

Aoba had never fought against having his IV placed, even if he’d worked out by now that it was postponing the inevitable. So Tae would feel no guilt in doing that for him once more. 

She had still been so willing to try and temp just a small lump of rice past his lips, anything at all to give him strength. 

Aoba was wasting away. None of them could even get over how sudden a transformation it had been from the man they had once known to the husk that sat before them now. 

Koujaku watched Tae place her chopsticks down onto the table, as she reached out and grasped Aoba's hand where it rested on the arm of his wheelchair. 

His head raised by a fraction and a trembling breath escaped his nose, but he reacted little more. 

 

Koujaku moved to rub his face slowly, feeling the sunken skin beneath his eyes. He couldn't say that he had slept a wink since they’d found Aoba in that tower. Couldn't say that, in those rare moments of exhaustion where sleep almost found him, that Koujaku had not witnessed sickening nightmares of that night.

The horror of seeing Aoba, bare and incomplete... It haunted his very soul. 

That, and when they had seen Clear as they attempted to carry the boy out, the alarms screaming above their heads... 

He shuddered. 

The revulsion and pain that Koujaku had felt each time he looked upon Aoba's amputated legs... When he had remembered the pen marks across his upper left arm... Those feelings had consumed him for weeks afterwards. The emotions had barely ebbed since then. It was like he was reliving that first moment each and every day. 

For this fact, Koujaku was little healthier than Aoba by this point. Thinning and exhausted, he had all but moved into Aoba's old room to try and be close, both for Tae's sake and his own since he hardly had the energy to make it over every single day. 

But most of all, he did it so that he would never be far from his best friend. 

Aoba's life had all but been destroyed. Weeks may have passed, but everyone close to him was still reeling from what had been brought home to them. They all needed to remain close, to keep each other strong. 

What broke Koujaku’s heart was how hopeful Tae had been when she was told they could take Aoba back with them. She had hoped so terribly that it would bring Aoba around from his silent and unresponsive state. She had been glad as well that Aoba could leave that cold hospital behind, knowing that the environment Aoba was being kept in was not so dissimilar from his prison. 

But even saying that, Koujaku was not so sure that the environment mattered much to Aoba.

When he’d first arrived at the hospital from Platinum Jail, he’d had at least a little weight upon him. Not much, but enough to cushion his hips and to hide his ribs. It was after, when he’d started sinking further into his mind that he stopped eating, stopped responding to anyone.

Something had happened. Something they had missed.

Perhaps Aoba had simply been force fed whilst in Platinum Jail. Considering the awful things that had been done besides, this thought did not seem so far fetched.  
The idea of it made Koujaku shudder with disgust.

He wracked his brains, thinking back to when he and Noiz had found Aoba. It was mostly a blur now, and some parts he almost wished he could forget all together. But in amongst the mess of memories and violent emotions, something important resided there.

Back in Oval Tower, as Koujaku had crouched on the ground and held Aoba within his shaking arms, the younger had spoken to him briefly.

“Kou…” He’d whispered in shock, his voice raspy and weak, as if he hadn’t spoken at all whilst he’d been held captive there.

“I’ve got you, I won’t let him hurt you anymore…” He could remember himself saying back. His voice had been thick with tears, with muted horror beneath the surface. Aoba’s face had pulled into a frown, his body shifting in distress. 

“C-Clear…?” His voice had risen just slightly, his fingers bunching against Koujaku’s kimono.

“He’s dead.”

Koujkau had looked up at Noiz, saw how the boy was bleeding from his nose and from the cuts on his face. Koujaku hadn’t looked much better. He remembered how distant Noiz’s eyes had been and the paleness of his skin, the way he couldn’t look at Aoba for even a moment.

Aoba had breathed in sharply, almost a gasp. He clung tighter to Koujaku, burying his half covered face in the crook of his neck as his slim body had begun to tremble.

 

He couldn’t be sure of what that reaction had meant. At the time, he had assumed it to be relief. Now, he could only guess that it had meant more than that. He didn’t want to consider that perhaps… That Aoba was grieving. It simply didn’t make sense.

Aoba had not breathed a word since that night, and though he had nibbled at the first meal presented to him at the hospital, that was the last time he had willingly touched his food.

 

Here and now, it didn’t help Koujaku to think of a solution. Maybe they could have done things differently back when they’d found Aoba, who knew. It was perhaps obvious that Clear had brainwashed him in some way. Aoba had lain upon that table with no doubt as to what was about to occur to his arms… Yet Aoba had not struggled to get away. 

There had been nothing holding him down…

Koujaku’s mind recoiled from the thoughts, almost jolting him back to reality. He couldn’t think about those terrors. Not now. It broke his heart and shook his already crumbling foundations.

“Aoba…”

Koujaku glanced up at the sound of Tae’s voice, seeing her clutching the boy’s hand so tightly, “Aoba… Isn’t it nice being home? You’re back with me, you’re safe.

I know you hated it in the hospital... It’s so much better now…” Her voice sounded as if it were on the verge of breaking; Koujaku had to look away, “I wish you would have just a little rice. That’s all I ask… That would be enough… If you don’t eat soon then I’ll have to take you back.”

 

Aoba sat there in silence, his head lowering a little more. Tae felt him, his hand closing lightly around her thumb, but he made no hint that he would accept anything.

Eventually Tae sat back, breathing out long and slow. She stood, gently removing her hand from Aoba’s, and set about putting the scarcely touched food into boxes.

How could she possibly eat when her grandson was wasting away before her very eyes?

She put the leftovers on the counter, keeping her back to the room even after she had finished cleaning hers and Aoba’s plates.

Aoba had curled in on himself, his neck and spine standing out beneath the blanket as he gripped at the table.

Koujaku felt his own appetite whither and die, moving to stand himself. 

“Come on, Aoba. We’ll listen to the television for a bit.I’ll make us some tea.”

Tae didn’t move as Aoba was wheeled from the room, his hands grabbing at the arms of the wheelchair when the motion unbalanced him.

Koujaku pretended not to hear the sniffle from the kitchen. 

He pretended not to notice so many things these days… He feared he might go insane if he did.

Seeing Aoba like this…. It was horrifying. Almost as if he was no longer Aoba at all. Whoever sat in this chair in front of him was empty. As if his soul had left him and Koujaku almost hoped that to be true. He would have been glad to know that Aoba had found peace away from this body. This nightmare.

 

Koujaku stood back from Aoba's chair once it had found it's place beneath the window, studying the boy against the sunlight with his tired eyes.

Aoba’s head drooped whilst his hands rested limply on the arms of the chair, whatever strength that still remained within his body trickling away with each second that passed. 

Aoba was still here, for now. Toeing the line, perhaps about to fall over it. 

They say that people who die of starvation rarely die from the starvation itself, but from the things that can attack them in their weakened state; from a cold, or a simple cough.

Aoba could be taken down just like that, by anything. 

Koujaku couldn't bear it after all they had seen Aoba go through in the equally short and agonisingly long time of those past few weeks. What a terrible joke it would be to see him disappear so silently after making it back to his family alive...

But then… Perhaps that was what he wanted. 

Koujaku felt misery build up in his chest. He couldn't say he'd never thought of ending it himself in his life, and he would have done if not for the one slumped in front of him. How ironic it was that the roles should be reversed, though the circumstances were wildly different.  
It left a deeply bitter taste in his mouth. 

"There are kinder ways to die than starving yourself, you know…" He heard himself saying in a flat tone. 

Aoba seemed to pause at his voice. After a long, quiet moment, he surprised Koujaku when he raised his head with creased eyebrows and lips pressed together. 

"That’s what this is about isn't it… You don't want to be here any longer than you have to be."

Koujaku watched Aoba, the slight clench of his hands, the minute drop and rise of his head as he seemed to struggle keeping it in place. 

"Aoba… just tell me that this is what you want. I'm so tired of seeing you this way, wasting into nothing, it isn't fair..."

Aoba drew in a deep breath, and Koujaku imagined him staring back into his red eyes, his golden hazel orbs hurt and exhausted. 

But all that he could see was that awful black fabric, hiding Clear’s greatest sin.

"Am I right? That... this is what you want?"

A moment of quiet. 

And then…

The slow nod of Aoba's head. 

Koujaku felt the breath freeze in his lungs. 

"I came back for you, you know." He spoke out suddenly, passion in his voice.

More words he didn't mean to speak, more spilling out in his desperation, "After all of those years away… I came back to see you. I stayed here because of you."

He saw the frown on Aoba's face deepen, his lips parting, and Koujaku was suddenly kneeling before him to take his frail hand. This was his chance to speak.

Aoba was here, he was listening… This was his last chance to get through to Aoba, before his mind faded back into the darkness, before he was taken back to the hospital. 

Before he… 

"This isn't all there will ever be, Aoba. I know it. There is technology out there that can help you. I’ve seen it already. Technology to fix what Clear took from you. Is there no way I can convince you that there is hope?"

 

Koujaku half thought Aoba would turn away again, as he had done to Tae.

But he didn’t. Not this time.

"Kou…" Aoba's face had contorted in misery, his thin fingers clenching onto his friends as emotion suddenly overtook him. 

 

Koujaku made a small sound and held him tighter. 

 

He could see it all however, that Aoba didn’t want this any longer. That he didn't want to be here.

 

 

Perhaps Aoba had hoped that he could pass on quietly enough. His body ached in every possible way, his heart a cold stone in his chest, weighing him down as if he were chained to the floor...  
The ache in his legs and within his skull was dull and oppressive, never leaving him, never relenting. Yet his physical pain was smothered beneath the mess inside his own brain.

His body had left that cell back in platinum jail but his mind had not.  
His mind that was shattered beneath the guilt and misery he felt now.  
For his friends, for his grandmother.

For Clear. 

 

As he breathed Koujaku’s fragmented name past his lips he could feel the strain in his throat from its disuse. Aoba wasn't oblivious to the pain he was causing them.

It was half of what made him sink away into his tortured thoughts, to sit in silence even when he emerged, It was half of what made him unable to eat. If this was the pain that he caused whilst he was alive, then surely there would be some peace for his loved ones in death. 

It made him feel bitter to ignore his grandmother's pleas for him to eat. But he couldn't stomach a thing, not while his mind continued to dwell on all that should have been.

He would no longer be a burden, both to everyone around him and to himself. He could rest and forget about his mistakes. Forget about the things he should have done, and of the many things he now never could. 

If he had his way… 

Yes, his grandmother would be alone. However Koujaku had always been a second grandson to her anyway. She’d said so herself. Aoba had been convinced it would be fine. That they could hold on to each other and forget about him. It would have been so much easier...

Had he been wrong?

 

 

“Aoba… Hear me, please.” Koujaku said so quietly in front of him, drawing him back, “I… I can’t imagine what you have been through.  
You were away from us for so little time, but so much has happened to you. You were alone while we searched and we failed you when we didn’t get there in time and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Koujaku could hear his voice break and only clung to Aoba tighter, “... But Aoba… We’re here now. It fixes nothing but we are. All of us. We just want to help you be what you were; in my mind it doesn’t matter what you don’t have because we will be here. At the very least we can be your eyes.” He paused, trying to catch his breath.

He heard himself repeating his words, because he simply didn’t know what else he could say, “This isn't all there will ever be, Aoba… Please… Believe me. Whatever it is that’s pulling you away from us, know that it won't always be like this.”

He looked up at Aoba’s face, saw emotions there upon a canvas that had been all but blank for the past few weeks.

The material of his blindfold was damp, his head lowered and his lips subtly parted. His breaths were laboured and a slight tremble wracked his skeletal frame. Koujaku sniffed as he felt Aoba clutch his hand tighter, before he breathed in deep. Koujaku’s heart fell into his chest as the boy finally did what he feared he would. He turned away.

Here, by the window, the sun fell through in warm strips. Aoba seemed to move toward the feeling, leaving his hand with his friend but otherwise settling away from Koujaku. He didn’t have to speak for the man to know what it meant.

A tear was making its way down Aoba’s powder white cheek. At the very least he’d heard all that Koujaku had needed to say. Else he wouldn’t have reacted at all. For that he was thankful.

Koujaku held onto him for the longest time, standing slowly and even still, not wishing to let him go.

Aoba had made his decision, he supposed. There was no changing a person’s mind once they were set. If Aoba wouldn’t meet them halfway, then there was nothing more that they could do. Nothing more that Koujaku could do for his friend. 

 

“I’m going to make you some tea now, if you want.” Koujaku said, his voice tired and soft, “I might have some too, I don’t know…”

 

There was no point crying anymore over their reality. Tonight Tae might fit the IV drip to keep him going. What happened tomorrow was anyone's guess. For Aoba, it might well be a trip back to the hospital. In honesty however, Koujaku could not see Tae forcing that upon the boy again. She would keep him home, and continue to see what they could do. Until the drip ran out, which wasn’t enough to keep a man alive anyway.

In the end, the choice remained with Aoba.

 

Koujaku left him sitting in the sunlight as he moved toward the kitchen, looking back when he heard the front door slide open. A pair of shoes were roughly kicked off, and soon Noiz was making his way into the hallway from the genkan. He looked over at Koujaku, their eyes meeting as the blonde took in his desolate expression. He frowned at the fresh tears on Koujaku’s face, unchecked, and glanced toward the lounge where he could just see the side of Aoba’s wheelchair.

“He still won’t eat?” Noiz deduced softly as he came closer.

Koujaku cleared his throat a little, shaking his head as he glanced down toward the small box Noiz had pressed under one arm, not truly seeing it.

“He just doesn’t want to be here anymore.” He breathed, mindful of Tae standing not that far away.

Noiz’s eyes widened a fraction, a cold feeling washing over him as Koujaku turned and continued on his way. He himself turned toward the lounge, curiosity and dread mixing in his gut at what he would see.

He found Aoba quietly leaning against the windowsill, taking in the warmth of the sun, almost unmoving. 

Looking around the room Noiz found one of the small wooden chairs and dragged it over, seeing Aoba flinch at the sharp sound as it was placed beside him.

“Oi.” Noiz said as he sat, taking a moment to study Aoba as he was. The boy breathed out softly, noticeably frowning as he relaxed once more beside the window.

“I ‘spose it doesn’t mean much… But I found these and I thought maybe you’d have one.”

Noiz took the small box he held from beneath his arm and opened it, before placing it upon Aoba’s legs.

The boy jerked and pulled away from the window, his expression drawn. He faced Noiz, making the slightest sound but Noiz ignored it, taking one of Aoba’s hands and placing it inside the box with little care. He sat back upon his seat and watched, his jaw set.

Aoba seemed frozen for a several long seconds, his breath a soft ragged sound as it passed back and forth over his lips. It was clear that Aoba hated the weight on his legs, hated anything touching them but the blanket and even that could frustrate him.

However Noiz couldn’t bring himself to care. He hated seeing Aoba like this even more; this passive, haunted version of the boy he’d met not all that long ago. 

How little time it took to change a person, and he’d barely had the pleasure of finding out what that person was like before all of this.

Noiz wanted a reaction. More than a flinch or slight movement of his body. If Aoba wanted the box gone then he would have to move it himself.

But he didn’t. He sat there for perhaps an entire minute, coming to terms with Noiz’s actions… His hand beginning to move around within the box almost curiously.

He opened his mouth a little more as if to speak, seeming confused.

When at long last he pulled his hand out, his fingers covered in a fine powder, they came with something soft held between them. He raised the thing slowly to his nose, giving it a small sniff when he couldn’t work out what it was, squeezing the soft thing between his fingers.

“I found them in the market today. Warabinochi, or something. It’s sweet.”

Aoba’s eyebrows raised a little in recognition, but his lips were pressed firmly together. His hand squeezed it again, feeling it yield gently, but did nothing more.

Noiz huffed and leant forward, pushed his arm quite suddenly, and Aoba’s hand collided with his mouth.

The stricken boy made a noise as he dropped the sweet into his lap, his hand frozen in front of his face as he felt the dust across his lips and cheek.

“You’re supposed to open.” Noiz muttered, his own frustrations coming to the surface.

Aoba’s tongue brushed at his bottom lip as his hand fell a little, seemingly oblivious to the irritation in the others voice. Noiz waited, seeing Aoba hesitate before licking at the sweet soybean flour once more.

“See. It’s nice.”

Aoba breathed out softly, raising his fingers to lick at them slowly.

“Maybe I’ll find you more nice stuff if you eat this.”

Aoba didn’t respond as he continued to lick the dust from his fingers. Noiz sighed, and settled back against his chair to watch. 

The room was quiet for a short while, the sound of cutlery clinking and low murmur of voices coming from the kitchen.

Eventually, Koujaku reappeared, wandering back in with a cup held in his hands. He paused, noticing the box on Aoba’s lap and the dust still being delicately licked off the boy’s fingers. For just a moment, Noiz could see something in Koujaku’s eyes, but that light died as quickly as it had appeared. 

Koujaku didn’t dare to try and feel any kind of hope at the sight. He looked at the abandoned sweet that Aoba had dropped onto his blanket, and released a gentle breath. Dust alone couldn’t save Aoba.

“I have to go to work.” Koujaku told them quietly. Noiz remained quiet, knowing it was an excuse to get away, “Aoba… I’ll leave your tea next to the window… Just make sure you don’t burn yourself.”

Noiz watched him place the cup down on the windowsill, carefully taking Aoba’s resting arm and to show him where it was. 

Finally he stood back and studied Aoba one last time before walking back toward the hall. 

They listened to the sound of shoes being put on, the door being opened and closed. 

The house settled once more around them.

Noiz continued to sit with Aoba, watching as the dust disappeared from his lips. The boy had settled more comfortably in his chair and was back to enjoying the warmth of the sunlight. Aoba didn’t touch his tea once, though Noiz could see how chapped Aoba’s lips were now, having licked at them. It must have been painful to do with lips so sore. It didn’t make Noiz regret his actions. The bigger picture was more important at this point.

“... You’re working through a lot of stuff and whatever. I get that.” Noiz said finally as he moved to stand, walking over and taking the lukewarm cup. He tried to push it then into Aoba’s hands, carefully, till the reluctant boy finally took hold. Noiz made him lift the cup next to his lips, pressing it against them once more. Eventually Aoba was forced to take a sip, though much of the liquid had already ended up down his front.

Yet... That was all it took for Aoba to feel his thirst, and after he began to take small, tentative sips from the cup. His expression was miserable, but Noiz ignored it, keeping a light hand on the crockery to make sure he drank every last drop that he could manage.

“You should know… That Tae has been eating about as much as you have these past few days. Whatever is stopping you from speaking, whatever it is stopping you from eating… You need to get past it, Aoba.”

This had the boy pulling the cup away from his face, distress clear on his features. Clearly he had not known about his grandmother, or perhaps he did. It wasn’t a nice thing to hear either way.

“Is it because of Clear?” Noiz asked shortly, still pushing that cup toward him, “Because of what he did to you? Why he did it to you?”

Aoba seemed to recoil at those words, jerking his head to the side as his lips pulled back.

Noiz barely caught the almost empty cup as the boy let it go, one of Aoba’s hands covering his mouth, the other gripping at his chair.

Noiz stared at him. He hadn’t expected such a reaction.

“Aoba.”

A strained sob forced its way out of Aoba’s throat, perhaps the most sound he had made since returning to them.

Noiz chewed at his lip, seeing Tae slowly come into the lounge as Aoba completely broke down.

She simply watched, holding herself across the middle with bags beneath her eyes. She looked truly old in that moment, and it made Noiz feel something unpleasant in his heart.

“He drank his tea?” She asked softly.

“Yeah…”

She nodded and came forward, touching Aoba’s mess of blue hair and pulling him against her stomach. Aoba’s hands found purchase in her dress, and he cried without restraint into the soft fabric. Long, pained cries, such that they had never heard from him.

There was nothing more to say for a time, not even as Aoba eventually calmed, his body trembling, still with his face hidden in Tae’s dress. Noiz hadn’t moved. He couldn’t have looked away from something so telling that Aoba was still thinking, still feeling.

After a while he seemed to fall asleep there, breathing softly. Tae’s eyes were closed as she cradled him, her mind in a distant place.

“I don’t think I’ve held him like this since he was a child.” She spoke gently, “Koujaku was usually there to comfort him… Then he grew up.”

Noiz looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

“Do you need me here for anything?” He asked. Tae looked over at him, her expression one of quiet resignation.

“You may go if you like. We should be fine…”

Noiz nodded and stood, perhaps too quickly. He paused as he made to walk past, pointing at the jelly treats in the box, now fallen to the wayside from Aoba’s episode.

“He kinda liked the flour I think… Maybe he’ll have them, I don’t know.” He muttered, before walking out.

Tae watched him go, seeing his discomfort but still managing a wry smile at his attempted kindness. She looked down at the sweets and sighed.

“You haven’t had these in a long time, either.” She said, mostly to the air.

 

Eventually she moved Aoba to the sofa, laying him out so that he was comfortable.

 

It was like another lifetime to Noiz.

Aoba had come so incredibly far since that day. The small things that everyone had tried to do for him had brought him back, he supposed. Koujaku had said something to Aoba back then, he wasn’t sure what about, but perhaps it had had an effect.

The strangest thing had been during the week following, whilst Aoba sustained himself solely on small rice sweets and tea. A package arrived at the Seragaki household. The box was blank, no evidence hinting at who could have sent it, yet within it lay a certain lost Allmate that Aoba was all too desperate to hold again. 

He’d come back to himself slowly, and to them a while after that.

Even now however, as good as things were, it still felt as if they were at a turning point in his life.

Aoba was still in his wheelchair. He still suffered terrible days and better ones. It was also entirely possible for the doctors to turn around and tell them that Aoba could not support new legs with what little that remained of his own.

It was still possible for everything to go wrong. 

Aoba needed all of this to be alright in the end. All they could do was hope and pray. Lest all the progress they had made since a year ago be eroded once more.

Noiz wasn’t big on that sort of thing, praying and what not, the complete opposite. 

Even so, he’d found himself whispering quiet words to the sky in recent days for Aoba to make it through all of this. The alternative wasn’t worth considering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate so very much the patience that people have had with this story so far. And I'm sorry for making you all wait, life gets crazy and my procrastination goes skyward when that happens. This is the age old excuse and I stand by it, lol
> 
> It doesn't help that Fallout 4 came out, and since then I was writing a fic just for my own amusement set in that universe (I friggin love post apocalyptic stuff like you would not believe), and perhaps one day I'll post that here too. Once I'm done with this, only after I'm done with this. lol.
> 
>  
> 
> I wanted to post the coming part 10 with this chapter, but this one was so long already (16 pages!) that I had to split it. Again. If the ending seems a little out of place, it's because it was the lead on for the next bit yet also the conclusion for the end of this piece here. This chapter was so hard to write, forgive me ;-;
> 
> So anyway, within a couple of days you will get another chapter that is a little shorter. Still 9 pages mind you. And I'll say sorry again because it perhaps contains some of the cuteness that all of you guys have probably been waiting for since they doinked aaaall that time ago. 
> 
> Can you believe this story was a year old in July?!
> 
> To let you know of how writing is going even now, I found that I had actually started chapter 11 as well and got a bit of a way into it, I know where my notes are too which helps so once I set aside the time I can plough along with that once again and just get back into it. I probably need to reread this story again at some point but that just requires me getting off my ass. It's getting really long Dx
> 
> I didn't have a beta for this chapter :'x and that's alright, people move on to other interests. It simply means I might sit on chapters till I've read through them 100 times, like this one, which is why it took so long. Besides me wasting time. Shush. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it, and I'm sorry, and I love you all for loving this, and I will try and be better in the future ;-; please enjoy~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present and to sweet, awkward conversations.

The house was almost entirely still. Noiz knocked and quietly let himself in as Tae’s head appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“You’re early.” She half snapped.

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

“Hmph. I’m just making some snacks, he’s sitting in the garden so you might as well go through.”

“Thanks, Granny.”

Noiz wandered through the house toward the back door, feeling an almost nervous weight in his stomach. 

Walking through town earlier, he’d noticed that people weren't bundled up quite so much as they had been earlier that month. The weather was mild considering that it was already late September.

Noiz almost wanted to take it as a sign, seeing as how today may or may not change things permanently between himself and Aoba. A tiny blessing in a chain of many that could so easily not have been.

He slid the door open softly, looking out into the garden of unhappy plants.

Aoba sat near the middle of the garden beside an old wood bench, talking quietly to Ren as the small dog sat curled in his lap.

“... Wonder what else I might be able to do at Heibon. I suppose I could sell some things at the desk… You’d have to be my eyes, Ren.”

“I am curious to ask how you would enter transactions into their coils. My paws lack the dexterity.”

“You could use your nose.” Aoba suggested with a laugh.

“Perhaps I should simply work the till whilst you speak on the phone.”

“People might get a bit weird about being served by a dog.”

“I feel as if we would make a poor team between us, Aoba.”

That beautiful laugh, “I think this needs a little more working out, yeah.”

Noiz cleared his throat with an amused smile, “I hope I’m not interrupting.” He cut in as their conversation lulled, moving closer.

Aoba turned his head with an embarrassed smile, “How much of that did you hear?”

“Well…” Noiz sat down on the bench, close to the other.

“He came through the door as we spoke of serving customers at Heibon.” Ren answered instead, his tail giving a small wag.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“It looked as if Noiz was intentionally trying to be unheard. I did not want to ruin his entrance.”

“Wha- Ren.” Aoba held him up with an irritable expression, “What exactly have you been doing to him, Noiz? He’s getting more and more disobedient.” 

“I swear I haven’t done a thing.”

“Allmates have the ability to learn.” Ren gave an indignant wiggle as his back paws hung above Aoba’s lap, though his voice was almost amused, “Perhaps you would wish to turn this feature off?” 

Noiz snorted softly, unable to help himself as he studied the other man. The pair continued to bicker, Ren plopped back into his lap while Aoba complained animatedly at him.

Everything about this just seemed so… Normal.

In the few days since they’d been given the news of the appointment, Aoba had simply blossomed. He was livelier, his skin brighter, his smile came so easily.

He was nothing like before. It made everything they’d been through almost worth it, to be able to see him like this again.

Noiz cleared his throat once more, though this time at the lump that had seemingly formed within it.

Aoba had undeniably ruined him. For someone who couldn’t feel much of anything most of the time, he was certainly getting emotional.

“So uhm…” Aoba let Ren settle down against him, and started stroking through his long fur once more, “You wanted to talk?”

Noiz leaned forward a little in his seat, balancing his arms on his legs, “Yeah…”

Aoba sighed, moving his hand to Ren’s forehead.

“Ren, I’ll wake you up in a little while.”

“Alright, Aoba.”

 

The little dog powered down as Aoba pressed him there, before holding him a little closer.

It was quiet for a long moment, Aoba fidgeting all the while.

“So. I’m not quite sure what to say.” Noiz muttered, giving a shrug.

Aoba sighed irritably, “Well… Why did you want to talk? You’ve been all but avoiding me for the past few days, ever since… Since then.”

Noiz frowned a little, “I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“No? We’ve barely spoken you know.”

“We spoke yesterday.”

“Barely!”

Noiz huffed, sitting up a little, “Okay. I didn’t know what to say to you then, either. It felt like you regretted what we did.”

“I don’t regret it…” Aoba muttered. Would he ever be able to stop blushing at the mention of them having sex?

“Then why did you get so mad at me?”

Aoba raised his eyebrows a little, turning more towards him.

“I got mad because sometimes you’re an asshole.”

“Oh.” Noiz nodded a little, “I guess.”

“Hm.” 

“So like…” 

“Did it mean anything?” Aoba asked suddenly, “Am I just thinking there was more to what we did than just… Sleeping together?”

Noiz hesitated. 

Honestly… 

He didn’t know what was going on inside his head. 

He wasn’t going to deny that he had simply and purely just wanted to bed Aoba.

...He might not say that out loud, but that was true. He hadn’t done it for any perverse reasons; It didn’t matter or bother him that Aoba was missing limbs. Well it did bother him, but for different reasons. His attraction to Aoba spanned back to when they had first met, and that hadn’t been affected thus far.

The fact was that usually, after he had slept with someone, that was that. He’d move on and forget unless he met them again one drunken night.

With Aoba… It was nothing like that. He actually gave a damn about Aoba.  
Ditching him just wasn’t an option.

Even so, he didn’t think a relationship with himself of all people was what Aoba needed. He realised he wasn’t exactly a catch, certainly not for someone who needed emotional support.

He decided that he had no idea what to think of their little escapade. He’d done it for selfish yet selfless reasons, for Aoba, and for himself. He knew he felt something, but he’d never been one to understand his own feelings. 

“Did you… Want it to mean something?” He ventured, cautiously, after his silence of which Aoba had sat and waited through.

“I…” Aoba paused. He didn’t look happy, and Noiz realised then that his question was basically a confession that he’d only wanted a good fuck.

“Okay, like…” Noiz scrambled to find something to make this better, anything, “I usually just fuck people and leave. That’s how it's always been with me. But with you… I didn’t just leave. I mean, I felt weird and I kinda didn’t talk to you for the past few days. Fine. But, I didn’t leave, and I guess I won’t. Because it’s you, Aoba. I don’t know what else there is.”

Aoba looked a little less hurt, thank goodness, perhaps a little more bemused than anything. Perhaps he’d heard what Noiz was trying to say. Not that Noiz even understood entirely what that was.

 

Aoba himself felt a little taken back, stunned even.

He almost felt as if he should have been flattered by that mess of a confession, it hadn’t sounded entirely bad…

He decided however that it was probably best to glaze over most of that statement even so.

“So, um… You do… Care about me?”

Noiz took a small breath, “... Yeah. I do.”

“Okay.” Aoba chewed his lip a little, “Perhaps… Well, maybe we could make this a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah… Have you ever been in a relationship, Noiz?”

He frowned at Aoba. That word made him feel uncomfortable.

“I’ve never given enough of a shit about another person to consider it.” He answered, perhaps a little too honestly.

To add to that, no one had given enough of a shit about Noiz either. Until perhaps now.

“Oh.” 

Aoba was quiet for a time.

He didn’t know how much longer they could speak about all this. Tae would surely be bringing them something soon, and the others too would likely begin turning up.

That didn’t make a response any easier to find.

“W-well, um…” Aoba bowed his head a little, nervous, “Maybe if you wanted to, we could… See where this goes. No pressure or anything. Would you want to…?”

When he put it like that, the idea didn’t sound quite so daunting.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” 

If it meant he got to touch Aoba more then he would be happy. 

“Then, okay.” Aoba nodded.

“So we’re… Dating now, right?”

Aoba blushed a little more, “Seems it.”

Noiz hummed softly, moving swiftly closer. He gently kissed Aoba beneath his ear, smiling at the breathy sound he received.

“So… What do people do when they’re going out with each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m assuming it means more than just having sex a lot, right?”

“Well yeah! Obviously, I mean...” Aoba was red as a tomato, sighing and suddenly wondering what he had gotten himself into, “I guess I just want you to be there for me… And I would try to do the same for you.”

“I don’t think you’ll be ‘being’ anywhere with those legs, Aoba.”

“Brat! I don’t mean… It’s figurative. Like if either of us needed to talk or wanted to relax or whatever… Just be there to listen and I don’t know, hug.

Noiz crinkled his nose, “I thought I was dating a dude.”

“What? You…” Aoba huffed irritably, hearing Noiz snicker, “You’ll have to at least have to freaking try if you want to ever get me into bed again.” He grumbled.

Noiz breathed a heavy sigh, moving to pull Aoba against his chest with one arm around his shoulder.

Aoba made a face and shifted to get a little more comfortable.

“I guess this is a start.”

“So, wanna come back to mine tonight?”

Aoba half shoved him away with a surprising amount of strength, “Shameless little-”

Noiz laughed, moving back to look at Aoba as the man brushed some hair out of his face. He could see Aoba was trying not to smile. And failing.

This was ok.

“Whatever.” Noiz said, looking away for a moment. His heart felt a little lighter, and he was curious to see how this might actually go.

“This probably won’t last you know. We’re quite different.” He said, half joking.

Aoba sighed and shook his head a little, “Depends on how quickly I decide to kill you. I might be a bit more forgiving since, you know, you’ve saved me life and all. Twice.”

Noiz bowed his head a little, pushing down those emotions that wanted to come to the surface. Instead he laughed softly once more, “If you ever decided to, good luck finding me.”

Noiz didn’t entirely understand what Aoba expected of him, but he supposed he’d be willing to try. 

Something about Aoba, how he spoke to Noiz and the way they had been together that night at the apartment… It had been nice. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to that feeling just yet.

 

It was perhaps thirty minutes later that the other two arrived at the house, and not much longer after that before Tae brought them some food.

Mizuki was surprised by Noiz’s earliness but aside from that, nothing was said about it. Aside from the usual glare Noiz would often receive from Koujaku.

It was once they were all settled in and relaxing outside in the not so chill weather that Noiz began to realise… He disliked how close Koujaku was sitting next to Aoba. He didn’t like how friendly he would behave.

He surprised himself, feeling defensive now that he knew Aoba wanted to be with him.

It just amused him, the longer he watched Koujaku in silence. The small touches to Aoba’s shoulder, the joking comments he would make that had him laughing warmly as Aoba reacted.

Aoba had suggested a relationship between himself and Noiz, and yet right here in front of Aoba was a man so willing and devoted to giving him everything that it was almost a surprise that they weren’t together themselves. Koujaku was emotionally available for one thing, which Aoba deserved, when Noiz himself usually wasn’t.

It was then that something bitter rose in his throat as he watched the pair chatter, with Mizuki laughing harmlessly beside them. There was affection in Koujaku’s eyes, something soft and warm that made Noiz’s stomach prickle. Koujaku wanted Aoba, yet for some reason he had never said a word. Aoba was blind, not in the physical sense, to things such as this and of course he would miss how doting Koujaku was.

The older man was so delicate and caring… For the briefest moment, Noiz wondered to himself if he should step aside and allow Koujaku to make some kind of move himself. 

If he would ever make a move. Perhaps there would never be a right moment for the older man, perhaps he felt restricted by what had happened to Aoba and that he should keep such feelings to himself. Perhaps he didn’t even realise that he wanted Aoba.

The man was just as oblivious as his best friend sometimes.

Doubt bubbled up in Noiz’s chest regardless. He couldn’t offer Aoba what he needed, and perhaps one day Koujaku would even coax Aoba away.

Yet all the same, Noiz was determined. He wasn’t as cold as he considered himself to be, else Aoba would never have spent time with him. At the very least he could try and be good enough for the other, he could show that he cared about Aoba’s happiness.

And if he messed up? Well… Then Koujaku could have his turn. 

“Noiz, don’t think too hard now, you’ll hurt yourself.” Mizuki joked, breaking suddenly into his moody thoughts. It seemed he’d been glaring rather intensely at nothing for a few minutes. He huffed and shot Mizuki a look as he stuffed a donut into his mouth.

He felt as if he still had a lot to think about.

 

“Alright, all of you out. It’s about time Aoba got some rest.” Tae announced, walking briskly into the lounge.

 

They had moved back into the house as the day had worn on, the air growing cold once more. The evening had run on longer than usual, with silly shows on the tv and with Aoba being generally quite talkative for once.

It was late, and despite his wish to stay up and continue talking, Aoba was clearly wearing himself out. 

 

Most of all he wanted to keep talking with Noiz, about anything, now that things were okay between them. Noiz had after all sat close to him for most of the night, something which filled his stomach with butterflies.

“Come on Koujaku, the bar will be open for the 10 minutes it takes me and the others to tidy it up. Let’s have a drink.” Mizuki suggested 

“Sounds like a plan.” Koujaku sighed as he stood, stretching tall with the subtle pop of joints.

He turned back to the sofa with a look of disdain, but he was never one to not share drinks, “Oi brat. Will you be joining us?”

“No thanks, Old man, I have the gang to check in on after this.”  
He smirked a little. How perfect would it be if he and Aoba had five minutes to themselves.

“Your loss.” Koujaku waved a dismissive hand, “Goodnight, Aoba. I hope to see you as lively as you were tomorrow.”

Aoba laughed a little, raising a hand, “I’ll try to be. Goodnight.”

Koujaku noticed then that Noiz hadn’t made a move yet. A frown formed on his face as Noiz waved at him, suspicion crossing his features. He had little time to ponder what it meant when Mizuki took hold of his arm, pulling him toward the door.

“Hurry, Koujaku, there’s no time!”

“Alright alright, goodnight Tae-san, thank you!”

“See you tomorrow, you two.” Tae yelled back from the kitchen.

 

Noiz hesitated then, before pulling something out of his pocket, taking hold of Aoba’s hand.

“Wha-” Aoba felt a small cube press into his palm. He raised his eyebrow, curiosity on his face, “Your Usagimodoki…”

“Just in case.” Noiz muttered, “You always have your coil but… I know you have those days you don’t want to call anyone. If you ask him, he can tell me if you need me.”

“Oh…” Aoba held the cube in both of his hands, felt it bounce and turn within.

It was a small gesture, and Aoba didn’t know if he would ever use it. Aoba did still have those kinds of days, when Tae would turn everyone away and he would curl up beneath his blankets to do nothing. He would get lonely, but couldn’t voice that to his grandmother, and Ren would only worry people if he had to start randomly calling them on Aoba’s behalf.

Perhaps this was exactly what he needed.

“I mean… It won’t say anything to me unless you ask it to. So I won’t be spying on you. I just thought.. If he speaks to me then It’ll be easier for you maybe.” Noiz added, awkwardly.

Aoba smiled, reaching out with one of his hands. Noiz hesitantly latched their fingers together, seeing his smile widen just a little more.

“Thank you, Noiz. This is really kind.”

“Yeah…” Noiz shifted warily, “ ‘Spose I’ll go before Tae yells at me.”

“Yeah I guess…” That smile faded, and Noiz felt that unpleasant spike of something in his heart once .

“Listen… I’ll try and be round early again tomorrow, if you want. Just tell me when you wake up or whatever.”

“Ah… I will.”

Aoba felt Noiz stand beside him, their hands still connected. He paused before tugging the other down again.

“Hey…”

“Noiz, can I…?”

Noiz looked at him, seeing the fresh shade of pink blossoming on his cheeks. He huffed out a laugh, moving in to kiss Aoba, softly and without hesitation.

That was something he definitely could do.

Aoba sighed, reaching up and brushing the back of his fingers across his jaw, the little green cube still gripped within them.

Noiz pulled away slowly, feeling a sadness once more when all he could see was that dark blindfold.

“See you later, Aoba.”

“Goodnight, Noiz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this one. Trying to imagine Noiz being tactful at something like this, it could never go smoothly.
> 
> Here's hoping that the next chapter comes out sometime soon. If you have time to spare, make sure to bug me to get a move on, it's always appreciated.
> 
> Until then~


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go~

Aoba lay awake within the sheets of the fold out sofa bed, flat on his back, his mind buzzing.

The days had passed surprisingly quickly, where once time had dragged innumerably for himself and everyone.

Tomorrow was the day he would finally see his consultant, the surgeon that would be commandeering the procedure for his legs if everything went ahead. Tomorrow he would be told everything that he wanted to know, about the operation itself and if it were even possible for him.  
Aoba didn’t want to consider if it wasn’t… It simply wasn’t an option for him.

As it always was before an important day ahead, he couldn’t sleep. From the soft creak of the floorboards above his head it very much sounded as if his grandmother wasn’t sleeping either. 

He sighed, turning over to try and make himself more comfortable.  
He couldn’t settle down with such a thing looming over his mind.

Reaching out blindly, he stretched toward the coffee table that had been moved to the side of the sofa, feeling the cool of his water bottle. Passing that, he finally brushed his fingers against the cube that had been placed just behind.

He had no idea which way was up for the little object, so he gave it an experimental tap, and smiled when it bounced to life in his hand.

“Pi pi!”

“‘Modoki, can you see if Noiz is awake?”

“Affirmative!”

There was a long pause whilst Aoba worried his lip.

“~Ngh~”

“Oh… Noiz?”

“~Evening… What’s up?~”

“I just… I couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you up?”

“~No.~” There was the sound of rustling as Noiz moved about, “~One of the cubes bouncing on me woke me up. It’s fine~” A long yawn, “~What are you doing awake? You worrying?~”

Aoba settled down a little into the sheets, usagimodoki sitting by his head.

“A little. I’m all… Excited and nervous.”

“~Mm. You shouldn’t worry. It’ll be fine, you still have some legs to stick the new parts onto. It won’t be a problem.~”

“But what if it is a problem?” Aoba asked, “I don’t know what I’d do if…”

“~Aoba. Just stop right there.~”

Noiz sounded more awake now, something sharp punctuating his voice. Aoba fell quiet.

“~You can’t be thinking like that. I don’t see why they wouldn’t be able to sort your legs out. You still have a femur, that’s all that should matter.~”

“I guess…” It was quiet for a few seconds before he heard Noiz sighing tiredly nearby.

“~You got me all nervous now.~”

“What? Why?”

“~Well, why wouldn’t I be?~”

“Noiz, It’s not you whose future is riding on this. You shouldn’t be nervous.” Aoba noted, without malice.

“~No, I’m just a bystander who can’t even help with what happens next. I care about what happens to you, you know. I wouldn’t have stuck around for a year if I didn’t.~”

“Oh…” Aoba played with the rough threat protruding from his covers, “That’s… Kinda sweet.”

“~That was me just being a friend, I guess. Now you’re kinda more than that.~”

“Where’s all this coming from?” Aoba asked with a tiny smile.

“~I don’t fucking know. We haven’t fooled around in days. I must be craving or something. It’s this damn cube making it easy to say sappy shit.~”

“I think I’m okay with you talking like that. Makes me feel weird though.”

“~Well that’s fine, I’m making myself ill so don’t get used to it.~”

“Jeez fine, I’m sorry I bring that out in you.”

“~Whatever.~”

Aoba bit his lip a little, “I wish I could see you, you know. Alone. Maybe we could blow off a little steam.”

Noiz was quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, there was a certain cockyness to his voice.

“~So you liked it.~”

Aoba blushed, warm beneath the covers. He was momentarily glad he was speaking through an AllMate, “Brat… Of course I liked it…”

“~Me too… You were pretty damn sexy you know. I guess I’m happy to be all sweet talk to you, ‘cause you know if you ever needed a good fuck all you need to do is ask.~”

“Oh my god…” Aoba covered his mouth, his cheeks burning ever more, “You can’t just…”

“~I wish we had more chances to be together, Aoba.~”

“I- I’m hanging up.”

“~Aoba~” Noiz laughed, “~Don’t hang up, I’ll stop.~”

“How can you be so shameless?!”

“~I can’t help it. I’m not even sorry.~”

“You’re embarrassing.”

\---

Noiz huffed into the microphone, a smirk crossing his lips while he tried to ignore the heat between his legs.

“I know. ...I miss you, Aoba. Is that what you wanna hear?”

There was a pause, “~Well… Do you mean that?~”

“Yeah I do.” 

They hadn’t really been given the chance to just chat and be alone. Having people constantly caring for Aoba made that difficult.

“~Then I miss you too…~” Aoba replied, his voice soft.

“Cool…” Noiz shifted a little. That weird feeling in his heart was back; the happy feeling he wasn’t used to, “I hope tomorrow goes fine. Really. I dunno what I’d do if it didn’t.”

“~Yeah. You and me both. Thanks, Noiz.~”

“Sure.”

“~I guess however it goes tomorrow…~”

On the other end, Aoba couldn’t help the shy little smile working its way onto his face.

“~Perhaps we could go back to yours after… You can make me feel better. Or we can celebrate.~”

“What?” Noiz looked at the cube, a little wide eyed.

“~I’ll see you tomorrow, Noiz. Can’t wait…~”

“Aoba.”

The line went dead, and Noiz couldn’t help but let that sink in. 

\---

Aoba chuckled to himself as he settled back into his bed. It hadn’t quite been the explicit invitation Noiz had probably been waiting for, but Aoba would bet it would leave Noiz something to think about. If this relationship of theirs was going to work, they needed time together more than anything.

 

 

\--------------------

 

It was Wednesday today.

For such a long time, that word had stopped having any meaning to Aoba. The days had all been the same. The usual routine, perhaps changed depending on who could be there for him and how he’d progressed over time.

Aside from details such as the days his grandmother worked, Aoba hadn’t had a reason to care.

 

The past two weeks of course had certainly changed his perception of things once again.

In his deep robotic voice, Ren announced to Aoba just what the day would bring as the small dog jumped lightly into his lap.

The consultation would be in just two hours time.

“Thank you, Ren.” Aoba said, smiling as he held him perhaps a little too tightly.

Everyone was there already. Even Mizuki, who usually worked the tattoo parlor on Wednesdays. 

 

“Oh, I’ve been training up people to look after the Needle and bar for a little while now. I thought it was a good idea since we’ll need to be with you more in the future. You know, when you’re stumbling around like a two year old on your new legs, someone has to keep an eye on you.” Mizuki had told him earlier.

There had been some chuckles at that, and Aoba had hit Mizuki with a rather well aimed backhand whilst he’d stood too close.

 

Now they were simply waiting, sipping on tea and nibbling on donuts. They had to be patient.

 

“Now, Aoba.” Tae spoke with apprehension in her tone as she walked back into the room from the kitchen.

“What is it, Grandma?” Aoba asked, lowering the cup from his lips.

She settled herself on a seat nearby and placed her hands together.

“I’m just worrying, perhaps more than I should be, about what the surgeon will say to you today. With everyone so excited and considering how wonderful this opportunity is, I guess…”

She hesitated and Aoba sat forward just a little, “You can say it, I don’t mind. Is it about not getting my hopes up too much?”

Tae sighed heavily, “I want to say that, if just to save yourself the heartache if this doesn’t quite go to plan.”

Aoba couldn’t help frowning softly.

“Is it really that uncertain?” Koujaku asked from his other side, “What exactly is going to decide if he can have the operation or not?”

“I’m not entirely certain. It does come down to the integrity of what you still have, Aoba. I have known people to be turned down for prosthesis in the past, but I cannot be sure if synthetics work in a similar way.”

Aoba settled back into his chair, considering it.

“What happens if they say it isn’t possible?” He asked quietly.

Tae glanced at Noiz discreetly, who blinked and gave a tiny shrug.

“I would suggest…” She began, looking back at Aoba, “That we pool the money we have and instead focus on getting at least part of your sight back. It won’t be quite enough for even one eye, but we could always work hard to afford it. I don’t believe it is too far off the amount needed.”

Aoba fell into a silence for a time.

What a thing to talk about when Aoba didn’t even know the outcome of today. He supposed a plan B was necessary.  
If he couldn’t get the greenlight for his legs, then of course it would make sense to chase after the possibility of returning his sight.

Well, he didn’t entirely want to think about it. He knew they couldn’t afford to pay for eyes to be made for him yet, and that would only amount to him spending ever more time in his wheelchair. Perhaps for another year, maybe two. That would be a tough pill to swallow.

Even so… He had his heart set on getting his legs back. 

Aoba missed seeing the world around him. Of course he did. It was his legs however that made him feel all the more isolated. Perhaps either choice was equally important, but of course one was more readily obtainable and Aoba didn’t want the plan to change. The idea of altering course now disturbed him, when he had already settled so full heartedly upon the original plan.

In the end, being blind wouldn’t stop him if he could just walk. The world would be more open to him once more, and perhaps one day he might even been able to help save for his eyes himself. If Haga-san held good on his promise, then Aoba would have money to contribute toward it as well as the others.

Most of all, having legs meant he might be able to help his grandmother with some of the things she had almost entirely been left with, things that her grandson should have been there to do for her.

The others were waiting for him to say something.  
It took him a time longer to find the words he wanted.

“I don’t know…” Aoba muttered, finally, “Whatever happens… It’ll depend on what’s said today. I want everything back in the end but… One of those things is more within my reach. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“Aoba… I’m sure it will be fine.” Koujaku insisted, “It’s good to consider everything before we go in. Even if things aren’t fine today then it’s hardly the end. Mizuki and I already said we would work up the money to get you what you need, so if the legs are a no go then we will focus on the next best thing.”

Aoba managed a weak smile, “Thanks, guys.”

“Our pleasure.” Mizuki replied.

“Shouldn’t we get ready?” Noiz asked from his spot by the windowsill. His tone was a little more clipped than usual, his stance almost defensive.

Ren sat up in Aoba’s lap, “There is still an hour until the appointment time. We would be early if we were to leave soon.”

“No reason not to be prompt.”

Koujaku smiled knowingly at him, “Are you getting nervous about all this?”

Noiz glared at him, “No.”

“It’s understandable if you are. This is a pretty big day for Aoba. I’d be shocked if you weren’t.”

Noiz opened his mouth to spit daggers at the man, hating his tone, hating the way he was always trying to catch him out. However his eyes drifted over to Aoba, and he saw a different smile there. It was genuine, and irritatingly knowing. Aoba was aware of his nerves, and his expression made Noiz’s heart swell even as he felt his hackles rise.

“Shut it, Koujaku. And you can quit making that face too, Aoba.” He snapped at the both of them.

The boy raised his eyebrows and gave a laugh. He looked as if he wanted to say something back but didn’t. There was nothing he wanted to say that could be said in front of the others.

“Leave him alone, Koujaku.” Aoba settled for instead, receiving a ‘tsk’ from the older man, but he did desist. 

“It isn’t that cold outside. A nice walk up to the hospital wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” Tae said, standing once more.

“I wouldn’t mind it I don’t think.” Aoba said, stroking at Ren’s puffy tail.

“Then that’s settled. A walk should relax us.” She insisted, moving to set up Aoba’s wheelchair.

 

They were all ushered out of the house relatively quickly, with Noiz managing to maneuver his way into controlling Aoba’s wheelchair himself.

“Try not to bump into anything, brat.” Koujaku had said, with perhaps some genuine concern.

To that, Noiz sent him a flat look.

“Like I would, Asshole.”

That had earnt him a swift box around the ear from Tae, with Aoba sighing as he heard the slap. He settled into his blanket with Ren, and held close to his chest.

The slight chill of the air nipped at his cheeks and nose, but the crispness of it in his lungs felt good. He wished he could go outside more often, but his physical health was less than it should have been. Tae was constantly concerned that he would catch something serious. The last cold Aoba suffered had put her on high alert, and even weeks later when Mizuki had come in sniffling, she had promptly booted him out of the house as soon as the old woman had noticed.

The last thing Aoba needed to deal with now was the flu.

 

Outside, there were few people around considering the time of day, yet it was still quite early for some.

Of course, it didn’t stop the few who were around them from giving Aoba curious glances, some just outright staring. 

Aoba was blissfully unaware, at least for a time, and that was all that mattered. Koujaku and Noiz on the other hand grew noticeably irritated by the blatant displays of disrespect.

The blindfold drew most of the eyes. A solid black shape on a slender, pale face. Other people would realise that beneath Aoba’s blanket his legs terminated abruptly. The entire picture was something to behold, for someone who had never seen him before.

Mizuki tried to ignore it, shooting calming looks and smiles toward the other two. They hardly noticed him in their irritation.

The atmosphere around Aoba changed as they walked, the once chatty group falling slowly into a sullen silence. It didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Um… It’s gone really quiet. Is everything okay?” He asked.

“It’s fine.” Noiz and Koujaku said at the same time. 

They shared a look and glanced away, falling back into an irritable quiet.

“Okay…” Aoba muttered, sinking further into his seat.

“Don’t worry about it, Aoba.” Tae said calmly, “I think we might have a slightly shorter walk is all.”

Aoba frowned and settled at an angle in his chair, one hand propping up his chin. It was then that he felt something stroking his shoulder, tensing as it brushed against his hair. He reached up warily and found Noiz’s index finger.

Oh.

Aoba pretended to simply be fiddling with his blue locks, long as they were these days, or at least he hoped it looked that way. He allowed himself to hook one of his own fingers around Noiz’s. 

Noiz could feel his annoyance seep slowly away at the reassuring gesture.

 

 

Waiting inside the hospital was a different story to the calm of the outside. 

The corridors were bustling, noisy with patients and nurses alike, the reception/waiting room a jumble of voices and the tapping of keys. It didn’t seem to matter that it was so early in the day, the hospital never slept. Children were running around with others who happened to be there, occasionally shrieking and receiving a stern word from their bored or worried parents.

To Aoba, it was all so much louder. He shifted in his chair, gripping the arm rest with claw like fingers as the sound pressed into his skull, every sharp noise causing him to tense up just a little bit more. Coupled with the smell, the harsh, sour smell and Aoba’s skin was well and truly crawling. 

He hadn’t missed this. 

Ren squirmed in his lap, Aoba’s arm tight around him to the point of discomfort, but it was hardly Ren’s biggest concern.

“Aoba. Your heart rate appears to be elevated. Are you feeling alright?”

Aoba jerked a little at the sound of his voice, able to cut through the din with surprising clarity.

“Fine. It’s fine.” He swallowed and tried to calm his breathing. He was so used to the quiet spaces in which he spent almost all of his time. He couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything. The noise surrounding him now was almost paralysing. 

Koujaku shared a concerned look with Tae as they stopped for a moment, glancing around for a quieter spot in which they could sit. 

“This is hardly ideal for sick people.” Tae griped, crossing her arms, “We should probably wait outside until it’s our time. It won’t be long now and the consultant is expecting us so we can go right in as soon as he calls.”

“I just… I don’t know why it’s so bad…” Aoba replied, struggling to take normal, steady breaths, “It’s stupid. I can wait.”

Tae sighed, uncertain that she should accept his stubbornness. She heeded his frustrated tone as she placed a hand upon his shoulder, “There isn’t anywhere better in here to wait, so just try to block it out as best you can.” She offered in a soft voice.

One of the children screamed suddenly from across the waiting room and Aoba flinched hard enough to rock his chair, covering his mouth with the back of one hand. 

Noiz reacted almost immediately, turning the chair back toward the door and wheeling Aoba carefully back towards it.

“We’re going outside.”

Aoba didn’t argue, and neither did anyone else.

“I’ll wait here till the consultant comes.” Tae said, “Make sure he breaths.”

Aoba frowned, embarrassed but saying nothing as the cool air met him once more.

 

“Are you okay?” Koujaku asked carefully.

Aoba huffed, relieved at the lessened pressure upon his skull but annoyed nonetheless. 

“I’m fine, it’s just… Stupid.”

“You’re not stupid for being bad in a noisy crowd, Aoba.” Mizuki sighed, “Especially one full of children.”

Aoba’s face smoothed from his frustrated expression, before turning to something more miserable.

“Those three kids that always came into Heibon were loud.” He noted quietly. He was silent for a long breath, the others looking at each other warily, “How am I going to deal with them once I get back to work?”

“That’s different, Aoba.” Koujaku began, gently, “Haga-san won’t just throw you to the wolves. And those kids… They weren’t all bad. He said they missed you after all.”

Aoba shook his head slightly, stroking Ren from his ears down his back.

Noiz scuffed the tarmac beside one wheel, hands in his pockets. Koujaku watched him absently as he continued to speak.

“There’s a lot that needs to happen before you’ll be heading out on your own again, Aoba. You’ve been so positive these past few days, you can’t let the stuff that seems daunting now get to you before it’s even happened. Once you’re finally there, there’ll be nothing to it. Those triplets won’t bother you, those loud people and their shrieking babies won’t bother you. You’re only just coming back out into the world, it’ll take time to get used to it again.”

“One step at a time, right?” Mizuki added, “I mean.. After you can actually walk.”

Aoba managed a small laugh, huffed out through his nose with a smile.

“I guess. Good talk.”

“There, he’s smiling now.” Koujaku said with a grin, “Good. Nothing should be keeping you down today, Aoba.”

“No I know…” Aoba sighed, that smile growing.

“I can see Tae-San.” Mizuki piped up, “Here she comes.”

The three boys looked back towards the door, Aoba lifting his head hopefully.

The doors swished open as she approached, and the sound of the hospital waiting room poured out behind her.

“They’re calling for you, Aoba. Let’s go.” She called to them, the boys responding quickly.

Aoba clung to his chair and Ren as he was helplessly wheeled back inside, the momentary reprieve from the clamour enough to keep him level until they could get him out the other side.

They passed the gleefully yelling children, their impatient and tired parents, the chatter of the patients waiting however long till they could be seen.

“Seragaki Aoba?”

Aoba raised his head to the new voice, feeling the momentum of his chair slow.

“He’s right here.” Mizuki said by his side, poorly restrained excitement in his voice.

“Excellent.” The new voice said, warm and welcoming. 

A tall man with short cropped black hair, the surgeon's eyes were a rather bright silver, “My name is Okura Souji, your consultant as you might have guessed. If you could all follow me to my office, we can get this meeting underway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a filler, I know, but be prepared because the next chapter will be a mammoth one. As always, this used to be part of a whole but I write far too damn much, so I decided to cut it before we got too comfortable with Mr Okura :')
> 
> I'm starting to feel excited about this story again. After chapter 12 the ball should really get rolling, the time frame will begin to stretch out and a lot more will happen I hope. The next section after the hospital appointment has yet to be penned so it may take a little time but I'm trying to type everything up once it's ready, read through it, perfect it and get it all posted as quickly as quality allows. (If I failed at quality on this one then I'm sorry, all mistakes are my own stupid).
> 
> I hope you enjoy notheless, and that whoever is still reading this (rip 90% of subscribers since I was last active) can get excited again about Aoba getting his legs back.
> 
> The next chapter is going to be detailed as hell explaining all the stuff behind these synthetic parts. It's a little ecky I should warn you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standing on the cliff of decision, it's a long way down from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter incoming. Suspension of disbelief is recommended, as is a nice warm drink. Brace yourself, place your hopes into the hands of Dr. Okura and enjoy~

Dr. Okura led them to a moderately sized room, unspecialised in any particular way, containing a small computer desk against one wall with an examination bed placed against the other.

They all piled in as the consultant settled himself into the seat in front of the desk, motioning to the only two chairs left within the room.

“You won’t all be able to sit, but please make yourselves comfortable. I’m thinking that this may turn out to be quite a long talk.” Okura said in his kindly voice. He seemed quite young to be a doctor, but Okura exuded confidence and intelligence. It was enough to put Aoba at some ease by the sound of his voice. 

Tae placed herself beside Aoba, sat between the two chairs in his wheelchair, while Mizuki and Noiz made themselves comfortable standing. Koujaku took the chair on Aoba’s other side and once settled, Okura smiled at them.

“I hope the wait wasn’t too long. I was finishing up with another one of my patients and I do imagine I overran by a few minutes.” He said in a rather chipper voice, beginning to type away into his computer, “So, Seragaki kun… I hope you don’t mind me referring to you as such.”

“It’s alright.” Aoba nodded.

“Wonderful. Seragaki kun, as I understand it you are here today for a consultation in regards to the possibility of synthetic leg attachment, and or compatibility for such a procedure. Is that correct?”

“Ah, it is yes.” Aoba replied, his voice wavering just so.

The room was almost silent. The noise from the waiting room couldn’t reach them here through the heavy doors of the corridor, replaced instead by the shifting creak of chairs, and the low whir of computer fans.

Aoba felt as if his nerves were almost as bad as they had been barely ten minutes prior, now faced as he was with such an intimidating atmosphere.  
Or at least it seems that way to him.

They were here at last, and it quite frankly scared him. He realised that soon they would know if any of this was even possible for him; The next hour or so would quite literally decide how he would spend the rest of his life.

Aoba felt his grandmother take his hand gently, warm and surprisingly steady.

“Relax, Aoba. It’ll be alright.”

“I know, I… Sorry.”

“You’re feeling nervous?” Dr. Okura asked, “There’s no reason to be I assure you. Just let me finish reading up on these notes here and then we can simply dive straight into the examination. That way I will know exactly what I’m working with.”

 

The silence stretched ever on, though it was only for a couple of minutes. Their group waited patiently, yet so impatiently. Aoba stroked Ren once more along his back, taking comfort in the softness of his fur.

“Alright… So we are hoping for synthetic replacement of the feet, calves and lower thighs, is that right?”

“That’s right.” Tae said with a nod.

“Excellent.” Dr. Okura finally looked up away from his computer and smiled at them once more, “We definitely have a lot to talk about then, in that case. First things first, could a couple of you please help Seragaki kun up onto the bed here so he can make himself comfortable.”

Okura stood and gestured towards it, moving to pull a fresh sheet of paper down to cover the cool leather.

It was far higher than Aoba’s wheelchair, both Noiz and Koujaku stepping forward to volunteer. They barely shared a look between them as Tae took Ren from Aoba’s lap, the pair moving to push him across the room without a word.

“Oh wow that’s high…” Aoba noted as he placed a hand upon it.

“We’re going to lift you, Aoba. On the count of three.”

“O-ok.” Aoba braced himself as Noiz and Koujaku held him beneath the arms. Counting to three, they carefully lifted him onto the bed, allowing Aoba to turn and steady himself before they let go.

“Alright?” Noiz asked, concern altering his tone just so.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Aoba muttered, gingerly laying himself back upon the paper sheet facing away from everyone and blushing. Being moved around in such a way by his two friends was honestly nothing short of embarrassing. 

Dr. Okura came to stand beside him, glancing around the room, “Are you alright with everyone remaining here? I must say I didn’t expect so many of you.”

“No, no it’s fine. I’d rather they be here.”

Noiz and Koujaku settled back into their places with Mizuki and Tae, both making faces at the notion of leaving Aoba here alone.  
That wasn’t going to happen.

“Right, well, I will be placing a sheet over you so that you can remove your jeans. After that, I’m going to take a look at your legs, is that okay?”

“Yes, go ahead…”

Perhaps keeping everyone here in the room wasn’t actually the best idea.

Aoba lay there obediently, regardless, as Dr. Okura placed another paper sheet over him and proceeded to remove his jeans. Placing them neatly at the end of the bed, he moved to fold the sheet up to the point where he could see Aoba’s stumps in the light. He placed cool hands upon them, pressing here and there as delicately as he could.

Aoba’s hands twisted together upon his stomach, jaw clenching every time he felt a scar being pressed into, every time a particular one was even brushed.

“These were quite cleanly sutured… Amazingly so. Incredibly neat. May I ask the reason or what the injury might have been? It wasn’t mentioned in your notes.”

Aoba went still as his lips pressed together.

Tae suddenly cleared her throat after a short pause, “I’m sorry Okura san, the reasons are rather private. An accident. I hope you understand.”

Dr. Okura looked up at Aoba’s face, seeing his muted unhappiness, before looking back at Tae.

“My apologies. I simply found it odd that it wasn’t in his records, I of course didn’t mean to pry.”

“Please continue, Okura san.” Tae insisted politely. 

He nodded, his expression clouded.

“Considering what I was told, you have more of your femur than I originally assumed. Still not as much as we would want, but this is good nevertheless. Can you move your legs normally? No pain or stiffness in the muscles or joints?”

Aoba shook his head, “None, they’re fine. The… Scars have always been a bit sore.”

“Have you visited the physiotherapist often?”

“Um… Not often. Some days I do the exercises at home but not so much.

Dr. Okura nodded, “Can you push up against my hand when I press down on your leg? Okay... And down against it?”

Aoba obeyed both commands, one then the other.

“Now from the side? There we go.”

It tired his legs to do so, but he resisted the force relatively well.

“Good, good. Although you are lacking muscle mass in your thighs, this can be remedied with time. You have a good range of movement in your hips. The most important point is that you still have strength left in your legs. There’s a reasonable amount of skin where they were stitched and that can later be used when it comes to attaching the lower portions of the thighs. I think that will do quite nicely.”

Aoba felt a little ill hearing him speak like that, but even so he could feel his heart start to beat with hope.

“So… I can have the operation, is what you’re saying?”

“Yes I should think so.” Okura replied cheerfully, “What remains of your legs is still viable. Muscle wastes with disuse which is always a problem, but once there’s some more weight attached to your legs then it will be easier to solve. After the first stage is complete we can certainly begin a more intense course of physiotherapy.”

Aoba frowned, “First stage?”

“Yes. The attachment and integration of the ‘synthetic’ tissues with the original is a little complex so it often requires more than one stage. More accurately, we will attach your legs in separate parts depending on how quickly you heal. I can explain it a little more, but would you like to sit back in your chair first perhaps?”

“Yes please…”

Aoba was reclothed, and the two boys helped him resettle back into his wheelchair as the paper sheets were thrown away.

Ren wasted no time hopping out of Tae’s lap and back into Aoba’s, gentle hands moving to rest within his fur.

Dr. Okura smiled at them all once more as he sat back down at the desk, hands resting upon his lap.

“So the concern was if Seragaki kun would be a viable patient for this treatment. To conclude, I see no reason not to go forward with the procedure. As it is, Seragaki kun has approximately 40% of his femur left intact in both legs. I personally feel this is sufficient to offer the support required for the structures that will form the basis of the rest of his legs. That’s my assessment. If we’d had less to work with, then I would begin to question if the time and pain would in fact be worth it for Seragaki kun. It will take a long time to regrow the bone that is missing, so we can be glad that we needn’t go further than what we already must.”

There was a collective releasing of breath it seemed, and the mood within the room relaxed somewhat.

That was their answer. Aoba would be allowed to have his new legs. Now they simply needed to know what this would mean for him in the coming days.

“So these stages you were talking about.” Aoba began cautiously, “How many would there be with my… Situation.”

Dr. Okura paused for a moment, “Well the first stage is always the same for any patient, which requires the rebuilding of whatever might be missing from the upper part of any given limb. The number of stages however varies depending on the complexity of said limb. For your legs, it would be at least three stages. Four depending on certain factors, such as healing and how long it takes to complete the ones before it.”

“Okay.”

“Should I go into detail? Basically, stage one involves reconstruction of the lower portion of your things, as I said. We do both legs at the same time so that healing can progress at more or less the same pace. By the end of this stage and two other stages, you should have thigh bones of the appropriate length for your height ratio and the flesh should be healed. After physiotherapy and stem cell treatment you will hopefully have a bone strength of around 50-60%, as well as the beginnings of knee joints. It is at this point, should everything be in order, that we will continue onto the next stage. 

I want to point out now that the term ‘synthetic’ is rather misleading. What we create for you isn’t fake legs that simply stick onto a person and just work. They aren’t plastic or metal like a prosthetic limb. Almost everything we use to rebuild the limb is organic, of course many cells are synthesised within a lab, and we may use titanium for some portions of a limb. Still, the cells are always grown from samples you have provided. We build veins, arteries, tendons, and grow muscle, bone and nerves so that we may accurately recreate a functional limb. We can talk a little more about that later on.

Stage four would involve the further construction of the lower legs. Unlike in the upper thigh where we cultivate new bone growth, there is simply too much ground to cover for the lower legs in this case. It would take months upon years to grow that amount of bone, and entirely from scratch. At least with the femurs we have a starting point. Therefore the lower leg and feet will be crafted with bones made of titanium, covered in a special coating that will give a good anchor point to the surrounding tissue, as well as protecting the titanium from the corroding nature of the body. 

Now, we could very well go ahead and attach two specially created, fully grown and molded legs onto the remainder of what you have now, but this would not work for a couple of reasons. Firstly, you lack the muscle to move and support two fully formed legs. We’ve covered that.

It would most certainly be pointless. Physiotherapy and muscle building would be a tough task if we decided to go from 1 to 100 just like that. We must do it gradually, and one of the major ongoing processes will be a careful and then intense physio routine to ensure the muscle growth that is required.

Morbidly, if we did just attach two legs as they were will little to no preparation, they may well break off where they are attached. Simply because during reconstruction, we use a hollow lattice to lengthen the femur, wherein new bone and marrow growth is encouraged. Without this new growth and added strength of fused bone and marrow, this hollow structure is actually quite weak. It can easily snap from horizontal stress if things are not done properly. This will be possible in later stages until the bone has entirely grown within the lattice, but with each month the risk is reduced somewhat. Once you’re walking, this shouldn’t be a primary concern but something to always be aware of.

The bottom line being, we can’t simply give you new legs overnight. I want you to understand that right away. We have strict stages we adhere to and monitor your progress to ensure you are ready and in the best form for the next step.

So, if today's meeting concludes with us all feeling positive and with you feeling that synthetics are certainly the correct choice for you, then I would ask you to allow us to take samples from the various tissues that we require. That way we can be prepared for your first surgery in a month or so’s time.”

Aoba sat forward at that, “You would be able to… We could start all of this in a month’s time?”

“Of course. There is little reason to wait. The only thing that would stop us is lacking the biomass that we would need to build with. We need your DNA since your own cells will be ideal to minimise any risks and eliminate the possibility of rejection. We might as well start as soon as possible.”

“Oh.” Aoba nodded a little. He felt a little overwhelmed, but tried to keep up with all the doctor was saying.

“So… This structure building you’re talking about.” Tae spoke up hesitantly, “You will physically be building his legs… From the cells you are able to grow. Does this… Building happen entirely during the procedure? Does some of it happen elsewhere? How is it possible to just take a bunch of cells and get them to take to each other… To stay together?”

Dr Okura smiled widely. 

“It’s both quite complicated, yet simple in a way. Bear with me.” He said, launching into an explanation with some enthusiasm, “We use delicate sheets of empty cells, cells that lack DNA and are there simply to hold other cells in place. These sheets, once filled with several layers of specialised cells, could be comparable to skin grafts. They are simply placed on top of each other, over and over, with a protein in between that ensures there is some cohesion before the cells have their own chance to bind to one another. The inert scaffold, which will hold the foundations of skin, muscle, and connective tissue, anchor and contain everything that the cells will need to be able to grow. 

We start at the bone, wrapping these thin sheets around it and using that natural adhesive, to slowly build up the different layers. As we go, we implant larger vein and artery structures that we have grown ourselves, with special techniques which encourage more branching growth, as well as the beginnings of ligaments, etc. 

There will be no real blood flow from the body at this point, and so something needs to keep these cells alive until a stable blood flow can be established. We further insert thin tubes throughout the layers to allow extra food to be slowly fed into the new structures as healing and fusion continues. The nutrient mixture helps the tissues of the original limb bind and heal with the new. The organic scaffolds themselves are then slowly broken down and absorbed by the cells around and within until they vanish.

As these layers are so incredibly thin, a machine will help with much of the procedure with input from human surgeons throughout. It will be incredibly accurate and time consuming. These procedures may take anywhere from between five to ten hours, depending.

So, to sum up. Layers of inert scaffold injected with specialised cells and stem cells, will be placed carefully atop one another, building up to the epidermis, or a primitive version of. We spend the first month cultivating this biomass, the muscle, skin tissues and others that we will need a lot of in our lab.

After the procedure, we carefully monitor the newly built limbs, making sure no abnormal bone growth begins to occur outside of the lattice. We make sure that the cells take properly to each other and begin to fill out their scaffolds appropriately. The entire form will be quite delicate to begin with, and so it is bound tightly in a non soluble wrapping to ensure nothing falls out of place.

Patients are encouraged not to move too much without supervision for the first week or so. Of course this would mean keeping Seragaki kun in the hospital until we feel it is safe for him to leave. This may be a challenge, but it is vital for the fusing of every layer to occur evenly and without too many defects.

Until this happens, the cells will continue to be fed with a cocktail of nutrients to ensure healthy growth. The muscle cells take the longest amount of time to complete development, and it will depend on how long it is till this happens. Meanwhile, blood vessels will have begun to form throughout. These are continuations from the implanted veins and arteries. They will be ready for the next stage, stage two, which would be to slowly allow the body’s blood supply into the newly healed limbs.

Everything must be sufficiently knitted to everything else before this can happen, for reasons you can probably imagine. We allow blood into only one limb at a time, allowing the patient to gain more blood volume before allowing flow into the second leg. 

Once connected to a blood supply however, healing will speed up and the feeding tubes may be carefully removed. Seragaki kun will be allowed to head home after this until the third stage, which would involve a beginning to physiotherapy. After that, stage four would be to attach the lower legs, most likely without the foot. The layers are wrapped around the titanium “tibia” in much the same way as the femur, and treated accordingly. 

Then, since feet are rather fiddly things to recreate, we tend to allow ourselves all the focus we might require. Stage 5 is their attachment, and stage 6 will at last mean blood flow in the lower legs and feet. There is much more to do for the legs besides, but at this point the process is regarded as mostly completed, with these stages being the most important milestones.

Do you have any questions at this point? I don’t think I’ve left much out, but like I said it is a _lot_ of information to take in. I’ll give you a moment to consider it all if you like.”

The room was quiet after he finished speaking, and it was perhaps good of Okura to allow them that moment. Those who could see glanced at each other, and as the information mostly sank in, Aoba managed to speak. Amazed, baffled, and perhaps a little lost amongst it all.

“So… After the procedure. The uh… Cells and everything. They’ll just attach to the old skin and muscle? I mean, my body will know it’s skin, and muscle and whatever else?”

Dr Okura half nodded, gesturing a little, “More or less. 

Most of the cells will be specialised. They will know what their task is and they stick to it till they die. The scaffold helps to inform non specialised cells as to what they need to become also. Once everything is established, there is no need to keep injecting new cells. They will begin replicating on their own. The only issue will be with old cells and what happens to them when they do expire. We try to establish the blood flow quickly to prevent toxicity from getting too high and starts causing problems. It may take from a couple of weeks to a month for this to be possible. Once blood flow is established, the body is quite good at clearing up whatever mess is left over and ensuring that no cells grow out of control. We will also keep an eye on the limbs before this phase so that doesn’t happen. 

The cells directly in contact with your thighs’ skin and muscle should have access to both blood and nutrient fluid, and vice versa. This helps with the binding and creates strong connections. The new limbs hopefully won’t be falling off of your legs anytime soon, with proper care.

Oh, we also keep an eye on the shape of the leg while it is healing. It’s a little… Uh, malleable at this stage, you see. Something to note here is that with the new muscles being so thin and with no fat stores yet, the newly built portions of your legs will appear very thin in comparison to the old.”

“This all sounds incredible gross.” Mizuki said from behind.

Aoba made a face.

“It does… Will I be able to feel anything once this ‘stage one’ is finished?”

Dr Okura shook his head, “I can tell you with certainty that no, you will have no feeling past your natural flesh. You’ll probably be in pain after the operation as you’ll have a mostly open wound being held together with these new layers, but otherwise nothing beneath that.

Nerves are… Different. Another matter entirely. We have tried combined techniques with other patients, using stem cells at the base of the severed nerves to try and build from them, as well as growing nerve cells outright and letting them heal together. They take longer than muscle to heal, and muscle takes longer than bone. They are delicate, sophisticated, and they honestly work to their own time frame. 

Your legs will be numb for months afterwards past the line of attachment. Perhaps into the following year after the next. But the nerves should grow with some prodding in the right direction.”

“So you’re saying it may take a year for him to feel anything in his legs, once he has them?” Mizuki asked in surprise.

“To his knees, it may take a year for the feeling in them to develop.”

No one spoke. That was a shock.

Dr. Okura made a less enthusiastic face, “This, I feel, is what you need to be prepared for. When we implanted the necessary cells, it still took the nerves an incredible amount of time to grow, and to connect with preexisting structures. They are simply difficult to work with. Everything comes in a good amount of time.

We can force skin to grow rapidly within a couple of weeks to ensure internal tissues are sealed away and protected. With nerves, they still elude us. Despite finding ways to work with them, there still seems to be much that we need to learn.

But in honestly, that makes the following stages easier, considering you will feel no pain.”

“But you’re still saying… That maybe in a few months, even if I can’t feel anything, I will have my legs back?” Aoba asked more strongly.

 

Dr. Okura smiled and gave a positive nod, “I can promise you that. I would make a safe guess from a few months to a year. You will have your legs back.”

Aoba breathed out softly, feeling his heart thrum in his chest.

“That doesn’t… That doesn’t sound so bad.” He sighed.

“I understand, it is a long time to wait. But with the work we do here, there is nothing wrong with being thorough. You will need a lot of therapy to build up your muscle strength, both original and sculpted, to be able to move those legs at all but it is certainly possible. The knee joint and everything that you will have below that, I have to say, they are medical marvels in my opinion.

Titanium built in a way to be tough but flexible, with a knee joint that mimics the rotation of the femur against the tibia when underweight. It responds beautifully. It is very resilient, and behaves smoothly. But if anything were to happen, the knee can be replaced quite easily. We can’t quite implement cartilage as it should be, to ensure no pain and smooth operation. If we even could, it would be impossible for you to walk until you had the appropriate muscle and feeling around a more natural knee joint. 

So instead we will opt for this crafted knee which, above the skin, looks quite normal, and will allow you to walk a fair amount of time sooner. This can be done with a switch that causes the knee to lock when weight is applied. This can be turned off once you have the appropriate muscle to do this yourself, which may take some crafting on our end in the future, but it should work very well.

But yes, flexible titanium. These “bones” should last for life, and we will always be committed to help correct anything that might go wrong if it even does.”

“Do bones need to be flexible?” Aoba asked curiously.

“To an extent. If something doesn’t flex, then it will shatter or snap. The best example of this would be glass perhaps, which is rigid to the point of being utterly delicate. The titanium bones need to be tough enough to take an impact vertically and horizontally, and flexible enough not to fatigue or bend. You won’t be running on jelly here, let me make that clear, but it should one day allow you to sprint on concrete for example, which has zero give whatsoever. I personally recommend not running on concrete, since that might reduce the life of the knee joints, but that’s really advice for anyone, real or fake-”

“Sprint?” Aoba repeated, “As in actually running?”

“Woah, okay.” Koujaku held up his hands, “I have an image of Aoba with half numb legs here. He’ll be able to run?”

Dr. Okura grinned, bright and intelligent.

“Of course. One of our first patients goes to a jogging track every weekend these days. Admittedly, he only suffered amputation of his left leg. There is also another patient of ours that has been walking quickly for us on the running machine when he comes in for his bi monthly. He still can’t feel halfway down his calves.”

“How…” Aoba had to pause, his ever fluttering heart finding its way into his throat, “How long have your patients had their legs…?”

“Oh let me see…” Dr. Okura turned back toward his computer, tapping away into it and turning the screen away from them ever so slightly.

Tae’s hand had found Aoba’s again, tight around his and slightly shaking.

Was that Koujaku’s hand on his shoulder? Most likely. They were in this together, after all.  
Aoba’s hopes were theirs. How long would it be before he could walk again? How long would it be before he could run?

“Ah. Patient one had his first operation three years ago. Almost four, even. He was able to jog for extended periods toward the end of his second year. That was about the time he’d gained full feeling in his left limb.

For him it was a bit easier, however. Once his bone had strengthened and healed appropriately, he was walking quite well before year one was even out.”

Aoba felt his face fall just a little. 

“So about three years…” He heard himself say.

There was sympathy on Okura’s face.

“Seragaki kun… If I may be realistic with you, with the fact that both of your legs were removed and so high up, it will be incredible if we could get you taking short walks with little assistance by the middle of next year. It says in your records that you were admitted a little over a year ago in regards to your legs and eyes. If you haven’t walked in a year, then that is a skill that may require some time to get used to once again.

Not only that, but I keep bringing up the matter of muscle mass. We have ways that we could increase muscle mass, with injections and with surgery, but I feel reluctant to put you through anymore pain than is absolutely necessary, to speed things up only by very little.”

Aoba was quiet for a time. He could feel Koujaku squeezing his arm in comfort.

“How long,” Tae began in a neutral voice, “Would you say Aoba could in his case look forward to fully functioning legs.”

“Well… Going off patient 2’s case notes; He had his operation two years back, he lost his leg below the knee on the left, and above on the right. He should be able to run we theorise in perhaps another year and a half. He still has nerve growth to undertake.

In your case, Seragaki kun, I will place a safe bet on four years at the most. Give or take. A person can’t run without feeling in their feet. A person with prosthesis can, because their feet aren’t flexible and liable to twist and buckle. This is where prothesis excels. 

In the short term, synthetics do not give stellar results. It is the long term we aim for, and our vision is for you to live an unhindered life once your legs are whole, though it will of course take perseverance. And a lot of time. Does this sound like a journey you are prepared to take?”

Aoba’s head bowed just a little.

 

Four years.

 

He would be almost thirty by the time his legs were healed and working as they once had.

That which Clear had needed only a few hours to remove, it would take almost five years for Aoba to recover. Five years from that day for him to take back his independence, and still it would be only half of what he’d lost. 

“Aoba.” 

Tae squeezed his hand, and Aoba was drawn from his thoughts. He felt self conscious and bitter.

“Four years is… It’s not the worst. You will walk again. Isn’t that what you wanted?” She asked him softly.

“Forget about hitting the running track for now, Seragaki kun. Our goal at this point is to get you walking. If you can allow yourself a few months of effort then it really won’t be so bad. I will be here for you throughout the process, beginning to end. I will be overseeing your surgeries, your recoveries and your therapies. If there is anything you ever need or want to speak about from now until the very end, I will be here.”

Aoba nodded slowly.

“Do you feel that you would be prepared to go through with this? It is quite a project, and it will be uncomfortable at times. You will get tired. You may even wish to stop it, as mad as that may sound. This is very much where all of you come in, friends and family. Everyone will need to be there to keep Seragaki kun going. 

I need to tell you that once we start this project, I will refuse to stop it. 

As long as you come to the hospital for treatment, I will always insist on moving forward. How long this takes relies on you and a lot of good luck. But mostly, it relies on you and you attitude. Do you understand?”

Aoba nodded once more but frowned all the same, “Will the process really be so bad?”

“It will be tough on you. Emotionally, physically… Your legs will be put under strain they are no longer used to, perhaps even your whole body. Walking is quite an involved process. You’ll be pulling muscles you didn’t even realise you had. The physiotherapy will be the hardest part, in my opinion. There will also be checkups, blood tests, injections, among other things. I will be asking you to go onto a specific diet whilst I am treating you, and to ensure that you eat the correct amounts. I may be quite invasive as to my methods but I ask that you understand, this is all to ensure success.”

“I understand.”

“Does any of that sound disagreeable to you?” Dr. Okura asked then, in a tone that insisted upon a truthful answer.

“Well, um.” Aoba hesitated, “Why would you need me to go on a diet?”

“I can see, without even weighing you, that you weigh less than you should. Not by a terrible margin thankfully, and I understand it may have a lot to do with your current condition. I hope you don’t mind me saying that. It’s hard to eat when you have so little energy, I don’t imagine it can be helped. Seragaki San I will ask, does Seragaki kun eat much fruit? Vegetables? Foods with good fats and low salt?”

Tae hesitated, her expression becoming somewhat sour, “Are you saying I’m not feeding my own grandson right?”

Dr. Okura laughed, warm as a summer's day and utterly unphased.

“Of course not. I simply suspect that like all of us, we tend to eat more comfort foods during difficult times. Things that go down easier, easier than fruits or vegetables.”

“He eats some vegetables.” Tae offered with a huff.

Another laugh, “I will lay out how many more I would like him to eat, “Dr. Okura said more pointedly, “As I mentioned, I know my methods are invasive, but I ask that you try to follow them. For Seragaki Kun’s own good. So that means less comfort food, more lean meats, preferable white, more fish, yada yada. I will give you a list, I promise.”

Tae deflated a little, and Koujaku couldn’t help but grin. Aoba gave a mournful sigh. 

Did that mean no more donuts?

“In the next month, I would honestly like to see you gain a few pounds, if not more. It would make me comfortable to know that you will be at your best, particularly your immune system, to hopefully cope better with whatever comes your way, as well as better take the drugs we will need to use.

It will also encourage me to know that you will be fit enough for the healing process so that it may go quicker and more smoothly than for someone who doesn’t have everything they need.”

“We will try our best.” Tae said in a clipped voice, “But you should know that my stupid grandson does refuse to eat what he is given much of the time.”

“Grandma…”

Dr. Okura sighed a little, “Well Seragaki kun, as that is the case… I know it must be a challenge. But you should be aware that if I weigh you in a month’s time and you aren’t at a suitable BMI, then I will feel it necessary to push the procedure back. I’ll put the weight that I want you at in the notes I will give you after everything is settled, but I hope that you don’t find it too daunting. It should be motivating at the least.”

“What?” Aoba raised his eyebrows, “I mean… Yeah, I’ll try.” He muttered. Okura was right about his appetite being poor. None of this made him feel any better about force feeding himself for the next month, but if it was necessary then he would do what he had to.

“That aside, I will take you to have some samples done in a few minutes and we will weigh you. It will be interesting to calculate an acceptable weight for you, considering the circumstances.  
I considered perhaps going into detail about the first surgery itself, but perhaps it might be best to have you come back closer to the time. We’ve spoken for a short while and I can imagine you wouldn’t mind getting out of here for a reasonable lunch. Should I make another appointment with you for three weeks time? That way I may prepare you with what you need to know, and go into detail then.”

“That sounds good.” Tae said, looking at Aoba with pursed lips, “Is there anything you’d like to ask, Aoba.”

“Uhm… How long would I be in the hospital after the operation?”

“Yes, so.” Okura thought about it briefly, “You will need a couple of weeks to heal without the risk of you moving and damaging the new sections of limb. Then we would try to allow blood into the legs by about the third or fourth week, depending. After that, once we deem your legs to be suitably stable, we can allow you to go home. It may be about a month, as a safe bet. You will need to come in for the start of your physio after those couple of weeks spent at home, and we will encourage you to come three times a week. After the first appointment, you and your family will be expected to complete the exercises at home yourself, once a day to begin with, then after a week, three times a day. The recurring appointments ensure that there is no mistake in what needs to be done, even if the process is deviated from at home. 

Not that we don’t trust you,” Dr. Okura winked, “But some patients do tend to.. Forget to do their exercises when they turn out to be not at all comfortable.”

“Hmph.” Tae looked at him sharply, “I assure you, as a nurse, that won’t happen. How long until the rest of the leg is attached after the physio?”

“Perhaps three to four months after the original operation. The lattice should be anchored well enough to support the extended leg on its own, and it will be perfectly fine to walk on even at this point once the calves have healed, as long as only vertical forces are experienced. Of course, there is the chance that we won’t have Seragaki kun on his feet for perhaps another two months after that, as his feet may be constructed at a later stage. 

Either way, I would expect Seragaki kun to refrain from putting too much strain on the bone and tissues to begin with, and he would certainly require the help of others to get fully upright to start with. That is something we can speak more about when the time comes.

I will emphasise that the lattice can break if struck or stressed from the side, for example, if the patient fell and collided with a step or a coffee table, or if they tried to push themselves up too soon during the bones growth. I want you to be aware of this now so that there is no illusion. It will be a major setback once seragaki kun is walking. We would need to reopen the leg to fix the lattice, and in the worst case replace it entirely. A possible setback of many months of healing and physio.”

“We will keep an eye on him when the time comes.” Noiz spoke in a low voice, surprising Aoba considering his silence up until this point. Koujaku grunted in agreement.

“I wouldn’t worry about such an outcome, it won’t come to that.” The man said, confident and determined.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine…” Aoba sighed.

“I’m sure it will be alright once we come to it. I just have to warn you without a shadow of a doubt. So.” Dr. Okura said at last, “I need to get a signature from you, Seragaki Kun, as well as from you Seragaki san. Are we all agreed that this is an acceptable project for us to undertake?”

Aoba paused.

“This is going to take so much time… But it’s definitely worth it… Right?” He asked. 

Aoba could hear the quiet desperation in his voice, the subtle fear.  
He hated it. 

“This won’t fail?”

His grandmother would be paying through the nose for his operations, his treatment, and for his mistakes if he made them. It was money gifted to them, yes, but Aoba couldn’t bare the thought of it being wasted in any way. Wasted on him for nothing.

“One day in the future, in a few years time, you will have perfectly functional legs. Perfectly normal in feeling, and entirely part of your own self. These legs will last you the rest of your life. Even if one of your knees failed, the metal in one leg or the other ten years from now, it doesn’t matter. We will be here to fix you no matter what happens. The hospital is bound to help you, these are the terms of the contract, so even if our little division disappears, you will always have help. Though I honestly feel you will not need it. I am so confident in the work that we do. 

Do I think it’s worth it? Of course. Absolutely. It will improve your quality of life in the long term for certain, looking at you as you are right now. One day you will cast your mind back and be glad that you did this, I guarantee it. 

Will it fail? That is entirely up to you. If you have the will to see yourself through all of the pain, the effort. Through the long days and the exhausting ones, then we can do this. I promise you that I will be here throughout, myself and my team, and we certainly won’t be backing out of this. There will be no chance of failure on our part. How do you feel about this? Is it a deal?”

Aoba swallowed, nodding with a bit more finality.

One day he would look back and be glad he did this. That was all that mattered.

“Yes. it sounds like a deal.”

“Excellent. We will do our best if you do the same.” Dr. Okura spoke with passion in his voice, with confidence that was purely infectious.

All of this felt a little surreal, as if they were moving too fast. This was what he’d wanted, truly, but standing on the cliff of decision made it all the more frightening. It wouldn’t feel real for days to come.

“In that case, I have this form for you to sign. I have explained most of what needs explaining, but of course I will allow you to read through and make sure everything is acceptable. The risks of surgery and the drugs we will need to use are there, as well as detailed options for other treatments both physical and mental that Seragaki kun might require throughout this process. 

If you yourself could put an X here, with your grandmother signing below it just to be certain.”

Tae spent a couple of minutes skim reading over the document, nodding to herself and sighing as she placed the clipboard holding it into Aoba’s lap. Aoba moved to hold it, and felt Tae guide a pen into his hand, placing that hand above the paper.

Aoba sighed a little. Instead of an X, he attempted his signature as he remembered it to feel.

“Perfect.” Dr. Okura said in that happy voice of his, looking at the messy scrawl, “And Seragaki San, if you please? Wonderful. Seragaki kun, may I shake your hand?”

Aoba felt a little overwhelmed, holding out his hand for the surgeon to take.

“If you ever have any questions, any concerns or worries, you can voice them all to me.” Dr. Okura insisted as they shook, his grip firm and reassuring, “That goes for any of you as well.” He added, smiling at the rest of the room.

Aoba nodded a little helplessly, “You can call me Aoba.”

“Oh, Aoba kun. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to help you.”

Aoba gave a half smile, “I should be thanking you.”

“I’m just happy to help.” Okura sat back in his chair, looking to Tae then, “So, to be sure. I will make that appointment for three weeks time, for the same time. Once we’ve had a good chat about what to expect, once Aoba has been looked over, as well as what will come before and after surgery is explained, I will be happy to green light the surgery in a week's time after that. 

Now, I will need to take Aoba kun away to have his samples taken. While this is happening, I will find my usual guidelines that I give to my patients and hand them to you before you leave. Does that sound good?”

“It sounds amazing.” Tae replied, her voice a little weak.

“Brilliant. Bear with me for two minutes while I type some of this up.” Dr. Okura filed away Aoba’s paperwork before typing lengthily into his computer.

They sat, and stood there, in silence as it all began to sink in. Noiz glanced down at Aoba while they waited, noting the slight bewilderment on both Seragaki’s faces. Tae had an obvious shine to her eyes, and Aoba… Well, his head was facing straight forward, his hands completely still as they rested upon Ren’s fur.

Feeling little embarrassment, Noiz reached out to touch Aoba’s shoulder. The man jumped, not expecting it, and turned his head a little to the side.

“You okay, Aoba?”

“...Yeah. I think so.”

“Don’t freak out.”

Aoba made a sour face, “I’m not freaking out.”

Koujaku managed a low chuckle by Aoba’s side, moving to rub at his face with one hand. He seemed suddenly very tired.

“Good.” Noiz continued, “Because this is kind of something to be freaking out about.”

“Noiz…”

“I’m happy for you, Aoba.”

Aoba was silent for a long moment, turning his head back toward the sound of tapping keys, as he reached up a hand to brush Noiz’s fingers. He was almost smiling, though not quite.

“... Thank you.”

The grating of a chair against the floor caught their attention, and Noiz withdrew his hand.

“Aoba kun, I suppose it’s about time you came to meet my ‘second in command’, as I like to call her.”

“Oh uhm, okay.”

Dr. Okura stood and came over, “Who wishes to go with Aoba kun?”

Noiz resisted opening his mouth, relaxing a little as Tae stood.

“I will go with him.”

“Alright.” Okura smiled, moving to the door and holding it open as Tae maneuvered Aoba around,

“Shinko san will be taking your samples today. She’s very nice, I do think you’ll like her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honorifics are a nightmare. I'm sorry, I'm sure I made mistakes with that. But there was two Seragaki's and there's no differentiation between men and women and, heck. ANYways.
> 
> Where to begin. I wrote this chapter about August last year after I posted that last fateful chapter, and that was an incredibly long time ago I just realised. It was terrible in that first draft, and it grew by about ten pages since that day. 
> 
> I wanted to go into detail about what I wanted to do to Aoba. It was such a loose idea ever since I started writing this and the more I thought about it the more ridiculous the idea became. Originally they literally WERE going to just stick legs onto him that were "fake", but that would eventually be replaced by his body over the course of a few years. He would have been able to walk pretty soon after, but that's boring so that amounted to very little aside from some influences for the final idea.
> 
> I was googling joint replacement and the science of titanium bones for quite a while, as well as how long an adult males bones are, how long it takes bones and nerves to grow, and on the different kinds of prosthetics that allow a person to have a pretty awesome working knee joint. That outer coating to stop titanium corroding is real technology and kinda blew my mind when I first looked it up. I can't say how extensively they use it these days and I can't remember what it is actually made of, but the idea is that cells anchor to it better than just metal, and it is antibacterial by design. I found it while writing a paper about 3D printing at university, lol. They (the ambiguous "they") have printed replacement jaws for people, isn't that something?
> 
> But yes, I want everyone to know that this isn't some quick fix fic, we're in this for the long haul. I hope I can flesh this out as well as I would like, and that you will all find it interesting and sweet until the end. 
> 
> The next chapter will take some work to do but it's much shorter than this one (thaaaaank gooooooooodneeeess), although it may still take a couple of weeks to churn out into something remotely acceptable.
> 
> If people are curious as to my progress, I do recommend checking out my tumblr. I post almost nothing on there these days since I keep forgetting to put it back on my phone, but if I get the feeling I'm taking the piss with my writing then you can be sure I'll be making some excuse on there for you to see (and maybe also something telling you how far along I am. I really do want you guys to know ;-; )
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience. Criticism is welcome (cringes) and I will get right on working on that next chapter. 
> 
> -Aobooty


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

_”Aoba… You coming back to mine tonight?”_

_“Yeah… Yeah, take me back with you.”_

_“...You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want-”_

_“I want to. Take me back to your place, Noiz.”_

 

He wasn’t sure if it had been the right decision in the end, yet he couldn’t say it had been a bad one.

Aoba had been so withdrawn after the appointment, brooding away with no clue as to what was going on within his mind, no way of knowing what he was thinking behind that blindfold.

Aoba was… Neither happy nor sad.  
He was just tired, tired and frustrated.

Noiz only wanted to give him what he wanted, whatever he asked for. If that meant a place away from the others to recharge after the emotions of today… Or even a place to let off some steam… So be it.

He watched Aoba, watched from beneath with hazed eyes while the boy rocked back and forth upon his lap.

Panting, Aoba moved with fervor, his fists burying themselves within Noiz’s shirt. His own hands gripped Aoba by his sharp hips, guided him, moving often to squeeze his rear or to touch his cock. 

The blue haired man jerked and twisted against him, desperation clear in his movements, his breaths sounding almost too sharp to simply be drawing air. 

He was so beautiful, yet the sight of him made Noiz so indescribably sad.

Aoba was lost in the feeling as much as he was lost within his own world. He hadn’t said a word to Noiz since they’d come home to his apartment. Since Noiz had helped Aoba to settle upon the sofa, planning on getting a drink for the both of them when Aoba had pulled him down. 

 

Insistent, and absolutely impossible to refuse. 

He couldn’t say no to Aoba. 

The man was gasping, grinding down hard onto Noiz and uttering such beautiful sounds that it took his breath away. 

Aoba was close. The way his hips jerked with every thrust, the way his body tensed, his hands grasping for a solid hold.

Noiz took him in hand once more and pumped him hard, listening raptly to the sounds growing within Aoba’s throat.

He choked on a moan, leant forward as one hand searched for Noiz’s cheek. The blonde lurched forward, crashing their lips together with a heated moan. The other pressed back hungrily, arching and gripping at his hair, their tongues twisting together.

Noiz was losing his mind. Watching Aoba move the way he did was enough to make him rock solid, enough to make him pulse within the other man till Aoba was shivering, impaled upon him.

“Aoba…” He groaned into his mouth, squeezing the boy hard, and taking pleasure in the carnal cry that escaped from between their meshed lips. With a small sound they parted, noses brushing as Aoba approached his precipice.

His other hand roughly took hold of Noiz’s shirt, and his own, forced them upwards with one movement to bear their stomachs.

“Ah… Ah…!” He buried his face in the crook of Noiz’s neck, surprising him with a sharp bite as Aoba tensed against him one final time.

“Fuck…” Noiz hissed, hearing Aoba cry out, long and delicious in his ear, while the man spilled out across his bare skin.

He shivered, bucking briefly into Aoba and earning himself a tired, warm sound.

The blonde slowed as he felt Aoba go slack against him, his hands still clinging to hair and cloth.

He looked down at Aoba’s relaxed face from the corner of his eye, at his slightly parted lips, shining beneath the dim light of the lamp. 

He could feel the man shifting delicately upon his still hard dick, the thundering of Aoba’s heart shaking his body most subtly. Aoba lay against him, breathing and settling into Noiz’s warmth.

He was exhausted. Emotionally and now physically. 

“You’re gonna kill me, Aoba…” Noiz sighed out, carefully shifting to the side, till Aoba slid off of him with little effort. 

Aoba didn’t release his shirt even as Noiz made to stand, the younger pausing to stoop over him. Aoba reached out to him, to find and touch, blushing as those delicate fingers brushed his cock.

Noiz took that hand, squeezed it gently as he pulled away.

“I’m gonna go clean up. You take a minute. We can go to bed once I’m done.”

Aoba frowned, opening his mouth. No words came to him, something that made Noiz’s heart clench. He watched Aoba lower his head once more, nodding.

“Don’t worry about me.” Noiz told him, untangling Aoba’s hand from his shirt and placing it down upon his lap, “I can see you’re tired, y’know.”

Aoba said nothing, only curling up a little into the corner of the couch, placing his head upon the armrest.

 

Once he returned, Noiz carried Aoba carefully to the bedroom, thin fingers digging into his shoulder, his arm, and settled them both amongst the sheets with the rest of their clothes carelessly tossed to the floor.

He held Aoba close to his chest, listening to him breath. Noiz felt somewhat helpless in these quiet moments. He never knew what to say to Aoba.

He followed the other man’s lead instead, slowly falling asleep in that almost comfortable quiet. Comfortably, yet unable to mask what scared him so terribly. 

Aoba hadn’t spoken a word since they’d returned home. He couldn’t imagine what a silent Aoba meant now, and what tomorrow might bring.

 

 

He awoke to the sun shining upon his face, blinding him, and to the gentlest pressure of another against his side.

Noiz breathed out slowly, feeling comfortable and sluggish in a way he could loosely associate with “warmth”, though he couldn’t exactly know for sure. It brought feelings of ease for a little while, at least until he turned his eyes away from the light, and the previous day came back to him in the form that lay by his side.

The boy was curled up and breathing softly, his blindfold slightly askew. 

He looked so peaceful. Almost serene.

Anxiety rose within Noiz’s chest. A tight, creeping flutter.

Aoba had been so out of it last night. He had shown Noiz what he’d wanted and nothing more.

The events of yesterday had been a lot for all of them to take in, hearing about the processes and the operations Aoba would have to go through. About what they would all be facing, together. 

They all now knew where the finish line lay. It sat high upon some tall, far off peak, while an abundance of obstacles littered their path. That peak was so very far away. 

Far off enough that it had sent Aoba spiralling down once more, though how badly, Noiz couldn’t know.

Aoba’s hand twitched against his arm, his hair twisting over and around him in that unnatural, beautiful blue. Shining and shifting. 

Noiz took an odd comfort in its appearance. Once, not as long ago as he would have liked, Aoba’s hair had been flat and dull, overly long because no one could touch it. 

It was still far too long, but there was life to it now, almost expressing Aoba’s improved health and overall stability, while his day to day emotions ebbed and flowed like a wild ocean. 

Shifting carefully onto his side, Noiz reached out to him. He touched that hair softly, just to see it shimmer between his fingers… Or as softly as one could when he could feel nothing at all.

He found himself wishing once more, for the thousandth time in his life, that he could just feel… Something. Anything. 

His hand froze when Aoba stirred, the other taking in a deeper breath before releasing it in a sigh, frowning softly.

“...Noiz?” He murmured, reaching up sleepily to touch the fingers in his hair.

“Aoba…” He heard the surprise in his own voice, the tone of it even bringing Aoba to turn his face into the pillow, almost hiding it.

“...” Aoba took hold of Noiz’s hand and brought it gently into both of his own.

Neither of them made a sound for a long while. The sun continued to shine upon his ocean blue hair. Noiz’s heart sat within his throat.

“I’m sorry… About last night.”

His mouth went dry, and Noiz shook his head a little, searching for anything within the man’s face. 

“Don’t be.” He muttered awkwardly. It was almost hard to speak the words, when all he could feel was utter relief, and perhaps annoyance that he had scared himself shitless with those terrifying and overactive thoughts.

“No. I am…”

Aoba shifted a little beneath the sheets, stretching and feeling the sun upon his skin. He rubbed at his eyes beneath the blindfold and sighed once more.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” He said in a sleepy voice, “I just…” Aoba frowned more deeply, his mouth moving wordlessly for a time as he turned a little more toward the other, “It was too hard to speak… It was too much.”

Noiz couldn’t think of what to say, nothing that wouldn’t be muttered uselessness. He simply moved closer to the other, brushing a hand up along his side, while Aoba hummed at the touch.

“You didn’t even… Last night when we were… You didn’t finish...” He began.

“It doesn’t matter.” That, Noiz could say that with certainty.

“It does.”

“Aoba. It takes a lot to make me come anyway. You were exhausted, and I wasn’t about to make you do anything for me.”

Aoba was quiet for a short time.

“You should show me… Show me what I need to do. There must be more to it than just biting…”

Noiz could feel a warmth grow low in his belly.

“Another time… Maybe.”

The other shifted a little, feeling Noiz’s hand in his.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

A heated sigh escaped before he could stop it, “You can start by not tempting me so early in the day.”

Aoba raised his head a little, smiling in that cheeky way of his.

“It’s your fault for being so easily tempted… I mean, I wouldn’t mind if…”

Noiz raised a hand to cover his face, “Aoba.”

“Then we could have coffee… Might even drink it this time.”

Noiz looked at him from between his fingers, feeling what might have been a subtle kind of happiness.

Aoba was smiling now, truly smiling. Yesterday was already a memory beneath a distant horizon.

“You’re gonna fucking kill me…” Noiz muttered at last, giving in to himself. He rolled over onto the other man who gave a startled breath of a laugh.

That laugh became gasps and moans and other wonderful sounds, and Noiz marvelled in each and every one as he drew them from the other. They kissed and touched, tangling in the sheets with better feelings in their hearts and minds than only hours past.

Aoba was beautiful. 

As he was beneath him now, Aoba was nothing alike to that wretched and lost soul from before. 

This Aoba bathed in the sunlight, and though he could not see it, he could feel it, and he could feel Noiz and the laughter within his throat as they met and kissed. He was happy, and to Noiz’s mild surprise he found himself forcing down the lump in his throat and the threat of tears.

This world could be an awful, terrible place. Yet Noiz’s heart was soaring, because in this rare moment Aoba was utterly free of his cares. In his arms, here.

“Noiz…” He was murmuring against the blonde’s throat, gasping, spurring Noiz onward with a desperation he’d felt only a few times before. 

Buried within this man, kissing at his face and his lips, with the sunlight glowing across their skin… Things almost felt right. That, perhaps, everything would be okay. 

It was the start of something, after the darkness of yesterday. Something was beginning.

 

They wasted an hour wrapped in each other's arms, parting with reluctance to finally get on with the day. 

Aoba grumbled softly as he was carried to the sofa, now clean and clothed, never quite getting used to the feeling of being so unsteady, vulnerable even.

Noiz moved Ren from his place sleeping in Aoba’s wheelchair to the boy's lap soon after.

“Find something on the tv, I’ll go and make the coffee.” Noiz told him, handing Aoba the remote with the slightest brush of their hands. 

While Noiz shuffled around in the kitchen, Aoba relaxed to some morning talk show while only half listening to the trio discussing the week's news. He was too busy petting Ren as his mind wandered. 

He almost felt as if he were on cloud nine, thoroughly content and calm. It was an odd feeling when one wasn’t used to it.

Ren sat obediently upon Aoba’s lap, happy with the attention. He felt Aoba pulling at some lint caught in his fur while he watched Usagimodoki hop after each other around the lounge. 

Aoba raised his head to the sound of their taps upon the wood now and again, their little chirps punctuating the air as they went by.

“So.”

Noiz began, breaking into his scope once more, “What did you want to do today?”

Aoba tilted his head a little, humming as a mug was carefully placed into his hands. He took tight hold of it, smiling and breathing in the scent of coffee.

“Grandma will probably be worrying about me if I’m not home by lunch… I don’t want to go home just yet though.” He said with a face.

Noiz made a small sound in his throat, “You need to start that shiny new diet of yours today too, don’t forget.”

Aoba sat up a little straighter, “I don’t understand why I need to. I know I need to eat more, why don’t I just do that? Eat things that just make me put on weight faster.”

“It’s all about vitamins and greens I guess.” Noiz shrugged as he spoke, “I’ve never been too bothered with that kinda thing. I like pasta, you like pasta. Pizza has all the vegetables I need.”

He almost sounded annoyed by the topic. Aoba could tell this wasn’t perhaps the first time Noiz had argued his food choices.

“We’re having breakfast first before I’m taking you home anyway.”

Aoba nodded at that, “What’s for breakfast?”

Noiz looked at him while his mind's eye visualised the food cupboard. Despite his irritation at the idea of healthy eating, Noiz didn’t like the idea of having Aoba eat sugary cereals either, nor the pancakes or the waffles. This diet thing was a big deal for Aoba after all… Probably best to get it right.

It was odd realising that you were willing to eat shit because it tasted good, yet didn’t want to inflict the same on someone else. Especially when that someone else was Aoba. I

“How does breakfast out sound…?” Noiz ventured instead.

Aoba paused to sip at his steaming coffee.

“Mmm, where were you thinking?”

“One of the cafes maybe. I mean there’s this Italian place I go just off main street. It’s pretty quiet during the day, that’s when I usually go eat there.”

“You don’t have anything here?”

“Nothing that’s any good for you.”

Aoba chewed at his lip a little.

Noiz looked down at his hands, glancing over the white lines that criss crossed over them alongside barely closed wounds, “If you aren’t happy we can just head straight for Granny’s.”

Aoba lowered the mug to his lap, Ren laying himself a little flatter against his thigh.

“I guess I could see how it goes…” He murmured. 

Noiz wasn’t the best at reading people, and he rarely knew what a person was thinking.

Even so, it was pretty clear to him that Aoba wasn’t ready to go home. 

Talk of diets, of Granny, thoughts of yesterday, Noiz supposed this time together took Aoba away from all that, if just for a little while. 

In the scheme of things, Aoba wouldn’t even care if it meant braving the public.

“There won’t be children around, will there?”

“Gods no.”

“Then… Maybe we can head out soon. I’m pretty hungry.”

“Sure. I’ll get your stuff together.”

Noiz stood, taking a tentative drink from his own coffee, before placing it on the table.

Aoba couldn’t help the nervous bubble that grew within his belly. When was the last time he’d actually been anywhere public for an actual outing? 

Not since Platinum Jail, of course... As much as it unnerved him, It was about time for that to change. 

 

 

The walk was pleasant enough. The clear night had brought a chill back upon the island, biting at Aoba’s fingers wherever they met the air.

Tae had insisted upon a warm coat and a scarf before letting Aoba leave with Noiz, for which he was thankful now. As soon as he had felt the cold, Aoba had started grumbling, “I hope it’s warm at this place of yours.”

Noiz had paused at the comment, going quickly back inside to grab a jacket and some gloves for himself.

 

Aoba hunkered down in his chair, wrapped up within his blankets while Noiz wheeled him toward Aoyagi Street.

There were a few people out and about, walking dogs both real and machine, chattering away to friends and into their coils.

Aoba bore it well, despite his nervousness. He seemed level today, his stress forgotten, or at least buried for the time being. 

“So where are we going?”

“We’ll be there soon.” Noiz replied as he pulled himself from his thoughts, “It’s just a little place I liked going to after work stuff.”

Aoba felt him turn off of Aoyagi street, the crunch of dirt and gravel beneath the tyres reverberating between the wide spaced walls of an alley.

It was a nice little place, and it a shame that Aoba couldn’t see it. Of course you wouldn’t consider there was anything worth seeing, at first.

The sky above was dark with the bodies of grey, mismatched extensions for the first twenty metres that a person walked. Voices could be heard amongst the mess of small buildings; neighbours chatting to neighbours, televisions blearing out into the air, a man yelling for another to come to their window, a cat yowling.

The alley itself was dotted with small stores and businesses. Mostly backstreet coil shops, a rock music cafe and some knock off clothing stores.

Along all of the shop faces, trailing down from the extensions above and across the walls, were fairy lights. Lengths and lengths of lights, mostly pale yellows and bright whites, some streaks of colour here and there. Twisting amongst the guttering, within ivy clinging on for life against the brick, the lights glowed beneath their leaves.

It was enchanting. Perhaps one day Noiz could bring Aoba back here when the time came-

“Why can I hear so many voices above us?” Aoba asked curiously, his face pointed skyward.

“People live up there. They all seem to know each other really well.”

“Oh. Where are we?”

“Just an alley off Aoyagi street. There’s lots of little shops on either side, maybe we’ll visit a couple if we have time. We’re almost there, anyways.”

Aoba nodded, “I think I remember this place… I didn’t come this way often, back then. Maybe for a delivery a couple of times.”

Aoba fell into a thoughtful silence, and Noiz thought best to leave him to it.

The smell off food was often in the air, and coffee, and sweets. However one pleasant scent drifted from one small corner of the side street. Here, the shop front welcomed one uninterrupted square of light, baskets of hanging flowers bathed within it.

It was unlikely such a gap in the skyline would remain, but for now it had the effect of making this one shop look special in amongst all the other darkened stores.

“Here we are.” Noiz spoke, breathing in the scent of garlic bread with a slight smile.

Aoba sniffed the air curiously, listening to the soft, cheerful voices of the other patrons, smoking and vaping and eating on the metal tables sat just outside. 

They passed them by, Aoba holding on tight to the wheelchair as Noiz turned them, pushing backwards into the door and inside. 

“Yo, Noiz. I haven’t seen you in a week.”

Noiz turned them the right way round, smirking at the owner of the restaurant as he stood to Aoba’s side.

“I’ve been busy, Mattel.”

‘Mattel’, Aoba thought to himself, frowning at the odd name. Was he foreign?

“Woah.” The stranger made a sound of surprise, “Who’s your friend?”

Aoba raised his head a little, hearing the man step out from behind what must have been a counter. There was a definite accent there beneath his words, but not entirely noticeable. He could feel eyes upon him as that voice came closer.

“Say hi, this is the guy that makes my pizzas.” Noiz said in a soft tone, placing a hand on Aoba’s shoulder. In reassurance.

“Hey.” Aoba managed a smile in the man’s direction, raising his hand a little, “My names Aoba.” 

“Aoba San, if I may be so bold as to ask, what happened to-” Mattel began.

“Matti.” Noiz almost snapped his name, yet the other did not hear the warning in his voice clearly.

“-Your legs? Your eyes? How-”

“Come on, man..”

“What?” Mattel looked at Noiz with wide eyes, oblivious as to why the blonde was glaring daggers at him.

Aoba took a breath, his heart thudding slightly. He should have been upset or insulted by such a direct question, yet he wasn’t. If anything, the questions had gone over his head. Oddly, being referred to as Aoba-san had thrown him more. 

Mattel’s voice wasn’t the same, and the circumstances were different. Even so…

Aoba shook his head a little, feeling Noiz squeeze his shoulder tightly. 

“I was in an accident.” He replied calmly after a long pause, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Mattel looked at him with a small nod, “Damn. Must have been rough.”

“How about a table, Matti.” Noiz interjected, moving to take the wheelchair in hand once more.

“Yeah yeah, of course. I just had to ask. You know me, curious as a cat. How’s about two meals on the house?” The chef said as he lead them through the restaurant. There were only a couple of tables occupied in the medium sized room, mostly at the front near the windows. They chatted quietly as the trio passed, some pausing to look at Aoba with curious eyes. 

The restaurant itself was all dark wood and panelling, lights with soft modern shades hanging down from the ceiling, the walls covered in paintings and Italian posters.

Noiz made a face at Mattel’s back, “You don’t have to do that for us.”

“Well I kinda have to, because I ain’t charging you. Come on. This table here should be fine for you pair. You won't get disturbed. What drinks did you want?”

“Cola.” Noiz answered easily, pushing Aoba into the space Mattel made for him by removing a chair. The table sat almost to the back of the restaurant, nestled between potted plants and wood covered wall. A dark wooden screen hid them from the next table, making it all feel quite cosy.

“And for Aoba-san?”

“Please, Aoba is just fine…” He heard himself say, “I’d like some green tea. Do you have some?”

“Ah, no problem, Aoba. And of course. Here’s a menu, I’ll get those drinks for you right away.” Mattel winked at Noiz before heading briskly back to the bar.

Noiz settled in across from Aoba, glancing at the menu before looking up at him.

“You okay?”

Aoba felt the sour look on his face, unaware he’d been making such an expression. He forced himself to relax a little. 

“I’m fine.” He managed a half smile for the other, turning to where he could feel the leaf of one of the potted plants brushing against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry about Matti. He’s always been a nosy bastard.”

“You really do come here often then, huh?”

“Yeah,” Noiz shrugged to himself, “When I can’t be asked to cook, which is pretty often. ...You didn’t like it when he called you ‘San’.”

Aoba brushed the leaf back, along with some of his hair. He touched at his blindfold, pulling it a little more into place.

“I didn’t.” He agreed.

Noiz paused for a long, long breath.

“He used to call you that. Didn’t he? After he stopped calling you ‘Master’.”

Aoba made a thin line with his mouth, Ren shifting within his lap as he felt the man’s mood shift.

“And you say Matti was a nosy bastard.”

The words left his mouth before he could stop himself, but he didn’t apologise. They fell into the quiet between them, and it was only then that Aoba noted the hurt that had been in Noiz’s voice moments before. The uneasiness he’d felt even mentioning...

Noiz felt only surprise when the other all but snapped, seeing how Aoba’s shoulders tensed and everything about him grew defensive. Like a switch being flicked.

“He used to call me a lot of things…” Aoba admitted, softly, a few moments later. His eyebrows drew together as he petted Ren, feeling the allmates cool nose press against his arm.

He lowered his head a little to smile at Ren, stroking over his small ears.

“Mattel is a foreign name.” Aoba continued, raising his face toward Noiz once more, “And his accent is strange.”

Noiz breathed out through his nose, his mind burning with a curiosity he almost knew would never be quenched.

“He’s not from Japan, no. His family is. They moved back when he was fourteen and opened this restaurant. I think his mother’s Italian.”

“You weren’t from Japan either.” Aoba mused, “From what I remember of you anyways. Something about your face… I don’t know. But I still hear it in your voice sometimes.”

Noiz couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips.

“You’re right.” He paused, looking down at his bandaged hands, “When I first arrived on the island… I wasn’t used to the food. This place was one of the only places here that did normal food.”

“Normal food?” Aoba smiled widely at that, “Where are you from exactly?”

Noiz hesitated. There couldn’t be any real harm in telling Aoba of all people... He had always been a cautious soul.

“Germany.” He replied, his voice somewhat low.

Aoba’s eyebrows rose, “Germany… You’re… Pretty far from home.”

“And all the better for it.” There was no emotion in his voice, the same voice Aoba had grown accustomed to when they’d first met, and long since. It wasn’t a tone he heard often these days.

“How long have you been on Midorijima now? You were pretty young when we met.”

Noiz wrinkled his nose slightly, “I arrived maybe four years ago… Could be five. Noiz shrugged once more.

“What about your family?”

“Fuck ‘em.” Noiz replied in that empty voice, glancing to the side as Mattel returned to their table, tray in hand.

The pair were silent as the chef placed a can and a glass in front of Noiz, placing an ornate teapot and cup before Aoba. Heeding the silence with his own, looking curiously between the pair, he paused only to pour some tea into the stone cup.

Mattel looked at Noiz with the menu, to which the blonde simply shook his head.

“Five more minutes.” He muttered.

“No problem.”

They listened to Mattel walk away.

“So why Midorijima?” Aoba asked softly, taking the cup gingerly in hand and blowing on it.

“I already knew Japanese… And I’d heard all about Rhyme and Toue. Thought I could make some money from it somehow. While it lasted, anyway.”

“That’s the only reason? Why not the mainland?”

“Family has their claws dug in deep over there. Best to come somewhere they weren’t willing to go.”

“What do you mean?”

“...They’re business people. They own a few companies, some of the biggest. Especially in Japan. They had me learn the language because of it. Besides that, there’s nothing in Midorijima that interests them.”

“Oh…”

“You want garlic bread?”

“Uhm, yeah sure.”

“They do lasagne and pasta.”

“What's lasagne?”

“Mmh. I’ll just order for you. You don’t mind cheese do you?”

“Cheese is okay.”

Aoba took a sip from his teacup, making a face as he burnt the tip of his tongue.

“So he makes this food all day long?”

Noiz opened his can with one hand, taking a long drink.

“There’s a guy that takes over during the night. This place is a lifesaver for clubbers you know. 5am Spaghetti is the best.”

“Hm..” Aoba could think of other things he’d enjoy a little more. Not that he’d been clubbing all that much, recently… 

He couldn’t even say he was sorry those days were behind him. 

“You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Mm. I trust you…”

Noiz looked over his shoulder at Mattel and waved him over.

“Yo, you decided?” The man answered as he flipped his note book open.

‘Yeah. Pepperoni pizza for me. Mushroom pasta for Aoba.”

“Sure, would you like some Parmesan on top, Aoba?”

“Parma… What?”

“He’ll have some.” Noiz said without looking up from the menu, “Also some garlic bread. We’ll have it all at the same time.”

“Aye. It’ll be ten minutes till It’s ready. I’ll take that for you.”

Noiz handed Mattel the menu without looking up, his eyes entirely upon Aoba as the other sipped his tea.

They drank their drinks and enjoyed the atmosphere for a time. It was warm within the restaurant, and slowly Aoba shed the extra layers he wore onto the chair beside him. It didn’t go unnoticed by Noiz. He slowly took off his own layers one by one, following Aoba’s example, and placed them beside himself in a careless pile.

“So… Will you tell me what you were thinking about yesterday.” Noiz asked, almost out of the blue as Aoba was readjusting the blanket upon his lap.

“You want to know what I was thinking?” He asked, taken off guard somewhat.

“That’s what I said.” Noiz pulled off his hat and placed it upon the table, roughing up his hair, “You had me worried. I want to know what was so bad.”

Aoba fidgeted a little, “You don’t really want to talk about that over breakfast, do you?”

“It’s important… You shut yourself away from me…” Noiz worried his lip ring between his teeth, “You told me you’d never be like that again. I thought you were gonna disappear while I was sleeping.”

Aoba’s expression was pained as he reached out to Noiz, waiting for the touch of the other's hand before taking a breath.

“I’m… Sorry. Yesterday, It was all too much to take in. After all the hope and excitement I’d let myself feel… I mean the hope is still there, it isn’t gone. It’s been crushed a little is all.”

Aoba paused, weighing his emotions, “You have to understand… I guess I expected a miracle. I expected something within months, not… Years. That expectation fooled me, and it made me selfish. 

“I’ll be able to walk again someday. I’ve been told that it will happen... It’s impatience that stopped me from seeing that this is worth the time. Some people won’t ever get the chance to walk again yet here I am, moping around because… Because I’ll be 28 when I finally can, again.”

Noiz listened to his words, let them fade as he stroked the other with a thumb across pale skin. 

“You’re not ungrateful, or selfish for being upset about that.”

There was something soothing about Noiz’s voice, how quiet it always was, how calm. It almost sounded indifferent, but Aoba already knew better than to think that.

“I wish there were some way to have it all done by tomorrow,” He continued, watching Aoba’s fingers close around his, “To have you walking by next week maybe. It was never going to be that easy.”

 

“No... “ Aoba sighed, “And no one deserves something they haven’t earnt just like that. I need to get over the fact that this won't be a quick fix. I had to sleep on it. I thought I’d get out of this wheelchair by Christmas or something ridiculous like that… It really was stupid of me. I’ll prove that I deserve this gift by doing the time. Working towards the end. It will be worth it.”

Noiz frowned more as Aoba spoke, “Surely being in a chair for a year, going through what you’ve experienced means you’ve earnt this already?”

Aoba bowed his head just a little, his hand pulling away to clench upon the table. 

“Payment for my mistakes maybe.”

“Mistakes…?”

The light behind him was disturbed as Mattel emerged from the kitchen, coming over to them with three plates balanced upon his arms.

“Pepperoni Pizza and mushroom pasta. Sorry about the wait. Yours and yours… And the garlic bread. I’ll just grate the cheese for you, Aoba.”

Aoba brushed some of his hair back over his shoulder once more, smiling as he pulled his hand from the table.

“Thank you.” He replied, though the tone sounded forced.

Noiz watched him without a word as their food was placed and peppered, their cutlery presented in napkins beside their steaming plates. Aoba made a face when he found his fork, though he concluded to himself it was probably better for him than chopsticks.

“Would you like more hot water for your tea?”

Aoba gave him a genuine smile this time and nodded, “Yes please, Matti.”

As Mattel disappeared once more, Noiz cleared his throat.

“Aoba, seriously… What mistakes could you possibly have made to deserve-”

“Noiz I’m not talking about it.” He near enough snapped, eyebrows drawing together, “I’m sorry I said anything…”

“Don’t apologise.” Noiz muttered, utterly confused. He heard the bite within his own voice, “I’m just amazed that you of all people could think you deserve what life has served you. You’re a good person. Better than me by a long shot and I still have all my limbs.”

Aoba cringed at his crude choice of words, “Even good people can do horrific things.” 

“Even horrific things don’t warrant being butchered and mutilated. Is it because of those powers you used to have? Because of what happened to Mizuki or whoever-”

“Just drop it, okay?!” Aoba hissed, hitting his hand against the table so sharply that Noiz jumped at the sound, Ren half yelping from beneath the table top.

“Aoba.” The dog pushed up onto his back legs, paws on Aoba’s chest as he spoke in alarm, “Please try to relax. Your stress levels are increasing.” He managed to lick Aoba’s chin once, the man seeming to catch himself after that outburst.

Aoba took a deep breath, turning his head away, “I’m fine, Ren.”

Noiz sighed, growing angry as Mattel approached once more to gingerly pour hot water into the teapot. The chef stood up straight and looked between the pair of them.

“Is… Everything okay?”

“It’s fine, Matti. Thank you.” Noiz glared at him, to which Mattel gave a small bow and quickly walked back to the bar, waving reassuringly at the curious patrons to the front of the restaurant.

Noiz reached across the table, taking Aoba’s remaining hand between the plate and teacup. Aoba made a sharp sound and tried to pull away but Noiz held fast.

“You have so much going on in that head of yours, haven’t you? ...I keep forgetting that it isn’t mine to know. But I want to know. It’ll drive me insane until I do know. I’m sure everyone else wishes they could see what’s going on in there as well.”

Aoba shook his head, struggling with Noiz, and with himself.

He wouldn’t cry. Not here.

“I’m not ready to tell anyone anything…” Aoba breathed, “Please. Stop asking me. My thoughts are my own to deal with and I’m trying. Stay out of it, Noiz.”

He watched Aoba, felt him pulling against his hand. He slowly released him.  
Noiz didn’t know if he’d gripped too hard.

Aoba brought that hand back into his lap, with Ren.

It was silent again, and this time it was not so pleasant. Neither of them touched their food, despite how amazing it all smelt.

“I keep messing up don’t I?” Noiz asked at last, studying Aoba with a weariness he’d rarely felt, “I’m no good with this stuff. Sometimes when you say things… It doesn't quite add up. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react when you tell me that you deserved this.”

Aoba frowned bitterly, “Just pretend I never said anything.”

“I can’t do that. I’m getting that I should just drop it, but I can’t. If it means I’m gonna keep ruining breakfasts and nights in then I’m sorry. That’s just me all over.”

Aoba reached for his fork again, taking it in hand and experimentally poking his food with it, feeling the weight of it as he lifted some of the long flat pasta.

“I know it just means that.. You care, I guess. You brought me here. Everything smells amazing, it’s nice and It’s quiet…” Aoba looked miserable as he sat there, “Did you bring me here just to catch me out? To try and make me say something? Is that it?”

Noiz frowned deeply, “I brought you here to eat something nice.”

Aoba sighed, stabbing whatever he could on his place before taking a tentative mouthful.

The blonde watched him, waiting till he’d finished his mouthful and had taken a sip from his cooling teacup.

Aoba gave a shaky smile, “Well... You didn’t mess up that part.”

Noiz sat back a little.

“Did you want some garlic bread next?”

“Sure. Honestly I don’t know how I’m gonna finish all this. It seems like a lot.” He poked around his plate, picking pieces out and humming happily when he found a mushroom.

“We'll go to your grandmothers once we’re done here.”

Aoba paused with his fork poised above the plate, “You don’t want to go for a walk first?”

“I figured you were sick of me.”

He huffed, “Don’t sulk. I’m not sick of you.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“You are.” Aoba made a face at his general direction, “You need to let it go. There’s nothing more to say.”

Noiz crossed his arms, feeling irritated. He took Aoba’s advice, but he would not forget what they had almost talked about. How deeply talking about Clear wounded Aoba. 

How clearly wounded he still was, thinking that he deserved all this as some kind of equal punishment for what had happened to the both of them, in the end. 

“Whatever you say, Aoba.”

 

 

They took a walk around town, wrapped up in their warm clothes once more, down the quieter roads away from the loud voices and the rare cars. Aoba felt the weak sunlight upon his skin, the refreshing bite as he breathed in the cool air. They shared only a few words after leaving the Italian, more or less content not to speak, although Noiz still had so many questions.

“Did you like the restaurant?” He asked a while later, an older woman passing them by with her granddaughter and a bag full of groceries.

“Mm. The food was good. I think we should go there more often.”

“Sure. When you’re round mine we can.”

Aoba nodded, holding Ren close and listening to the birds chirping high above.

“Listen, Aoba...” Noiz spoke after a time, the other turning slightly in his chair.

“What?” 

“There’s a job coming up in the next couple of days that I will have to focus on. It’ll probably take me till the weekend to complete, from what the guys have told me. Means I won’t be able to see you.”

Aoba frowned, shaking his head a little, “You can’t come by at all?”

“No. Was hoping I could put it off but… Might be better to do it now though, get it out of the way before your op.”

Aoba slumped a little within his wheelchair.

“What’s this job about exactly?”

Noiz hesitated to answer. His work was usually very secretive. Though he couldn’t imagine that Aoba would be getting around to tell anyone about it anytime soon.

“It’s… Just some information job. Lots of computer work, lots of pizza. Once It’s done I shouldn’t have to do another like it for a while. I’ll be back by the weekend.”

“Ah…”

“I gotta do it, Aoba. Work is work.”

“I know...” 

“I’ll bring you more sweets once I get back.”

Aoba raised his head a little at that, frowning but, perhaps a little less than he had been.

“Maybe some chocolate Mochi this time?”

Noiz smiled, turning a corner that would lead them a little closer to Tae’s house.

“I’m sure I can figure something.” 

“Fine… I’ll forgive you just this once. If you deliver the mochi. And take me out to dinner.”

“I can do that too.”

“And maybe to yours after that.”

“Mmh, if Granny lets me.”

“And… Maybe the next night after that?"

“Aoba…” Noiz huffed, “You gotta spend some time at home. I can’t take you away all the time.”

“Yeah yeah…” Aoba resisted pouting; he was a grown man for goodness sake, “It’s just… It’s nice to get away.”

Noiz took a breath, “I realised. That’s why I did it… Didn’t realise it’d work out so well for us but whatever. That was the original point.”

“Would be great if everyone weren’t so damn mopey all the time.” Aoba sighed, “I get it. I’m fucked. They try to be positive… I’m just not allowed to forget about it.” There was bite to Aoba’s voice, his shoulders a little more hunched than they had been.

Noiz kept quiet, but knew exactly what he meant.

“...It’ll suck not having you here to distract me.” Aoba finished, propping up his head with his left arm on the rest.

Noiz hummed at that, “So I’m just the pretty distraction, huh.”

“Pretty enough, as far as I recall.” Aoba replied, the smile back in his voice, “...Just be careful whatever it is you’re doing. You always have bandages on your hands and arms, somewhere. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“I’ll be careful.” Noiz paused on the side of a road, waiting for a trio of cyclists to pass by before crossing, “I’ll honestly be on my computer for the most part. I shouldn’t be needed on the ground.”

“Alright…”

“I’ll call you when I can. Just tell Usagimodoki when you’re free.”

“I will…”

 

“And… Talk to me if you start feeling down. I’ll listen.”

“I know...” Aoba reached up with one hand, waiting for Noiz to brush against it with his own, “Will you stay for dinner tonight?”

“... Yeah.”

“For real?”

“I said yeah, didn’t I?”

Aoba nodded, feeling Ren move around in his lap to settle against his belly.

It would be tough without Noiz for those next few days. Aoba had tasted freedom and he wasn’t willing to forget it so easily. He’d make do, even knowing that emotions would be running high with his operation now on the horizon. 

It would be hard on all of them, of course it would be, but none more so than the very person who had no chance of escaping it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's done! This one took me a while to do, lots of cutting and chopping. I knew I wanted them to talk about some things (Specifically get Aoba almost talking about a certain white haired someone), and I knew I wanted to show Aoba struggling with the conclusions of the meeting with Okura.
> 
> I think I'm trying to expand a little with my writing too, more descriptive things and building the scene a little better. I hope it worked out nicely.
> 
> 14 should be along relatively soon, I only need to go over it with a keen eye to work out all the kinks. You can expect some nice angst in the next chapter.
> 
> Please let me know what you feel about the story so far whoever is reading this :)
> 
> Till later, cao!

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr so you can know what I'm wasting my time on when I'm never writing.   
> Or feel free to drop me a message there when I'm too lazy to even tell you!
> 
> Showmetheaobooty.tumblr.com
> 
> It's all about the booty.
> 
> \-----  
> Psychology and recovery has always been a big thing in my stories. How people cope and survive in situations is enough to get me writing several different ideas.
> 
> This has grown to be much longer than I thought it would ever be. I try my best to write quickly, so the next chapter should be out in about 2 years or so, thanks for your patience :D


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